…to ask what you’d prioritize during mat leave, if you had your time again?

More skin on skin. Even more pics of him, of us and the family as a whole. I wish i'd done more cooking/baking from scratch and food prep, weirdly. More time with extended family so he could get to know them better from a younger age. More travel!

Establishing a good self care routine for myself. Getting outside in the fresh air every day

Establishing a village. Starting with DH. By this I mean making sure that he saw himself as an equal parent and did not see me as the house fairy who did all the housework. Mat leave is for recovery and caring for baby. Housework should still be shared relatively equally.

I often say this on the back to work threads - I think fathers need to be responsible for the first 6 months carer's leave to give their partners time to re-establish themselves in their job. After that it can be equal. So setting that expectation.

And definitely lots of snuggles

Sleep!!

Sleep when the baby is asleep and leave chorus until when they are awake.

My physical health and well being and recovery.

Building proper exercise that takes into account pelvic and core health into a sustainable routine. It gets harder as they get more mobile, so establishing that when there’s more time and less wriggling.

It might be postnatal Pilates at this point, and something else later on - but embedding that.

I regret not going to any antenatal classes whilst pregnant but equally regret not going to mother and baby groups either!

I would not have an allergy baby!

When they are really small watching TV and contact naps over classes etc. Walking when its nice and seeing friends. Pub gardens in summer!

With DD my second DH had a few months pat leave and we went to the pub and on walks etc. I did baby sensory but honestly I could have taken or left it.

I've really enjoyed stuff that's a bit more for me as well like exercise class with baby, baby cinema and bring baby choir. I love mat leave!

Once they become toddlers everything becomes a bit of a battle for a few years so make the most of it!

This is such a wonderful thread 😍 I have not yet had the joy of maternity leave and I'm so excited!

Exactly same. DD1 I thought I needed to take her to every class under the sun, so it felt like we were rushing everywhere, but making sure home at specific times for naps, I was a bit obsessive about routines and a bit to stressed
DD2 was about 3 months when covid hit, so we had to stay home. Lots of contact naps, bonding time with both DD's together. I didn't feel guilty about not doing all the classes, as it wasn't my choice. And I loved it - hanging out on sunny days laying on mat in garden under the tree, chatting and playing.

DD2 is much more relaxed than DD. That may be just coincidence, but I do wonder if it's a bit due to a more chilled first year.
It's the only time you don't have to work to a specific schedule - no rushing to work, or school.

So glad you are enjoying it, I loved maternity leave too. I did do 1 class a week which was lovely but my favourite thing to do was this particular walking route along the seaside promenade. I’d stop and feed the baby along the way, have a coffee, sit in the sunshine etc. Just soaking them in for as long as possible would be my goal for next mat leave, less pressure to get to multiple classes.

Stuff that you want to do.

You won't have this amount of non-working time with such a portable child again.
Baby classes are not that interesting and only useful to get to know other mothers. Do all the things you wanted to do but never had time for.

With a small baby, doing whatever you like.

and I did this- I played video games with a baby in the crook of my arm, art galleries, worked on projects, walks, coffees, lunches, long lie ins…

but I am an introvert!

There is plenty of time for all the baby groups when your child is sitting up, interacting more.

enjoy the slow days where they are just coming along for the ride and you can do what you please with your squishy friend

The father 🤣
Seriously, if I'd chosen a better father for my kids I would have had more support. Not left struggling with PND while he'd bugger off to the pub after work.
I also would have eaten healthier and not eaten crap, as that's all I had chance to eat.
I'd definitely make making mum friends a priority too

The things I enjoyed the most about my Maternity Leave were not the classes or groups it was the 2pm feed when we would get laid on the settee, a blanket over us both and the dog laid on my feet and we would nap together. It was waking up in a morning and having sleepy ‘chats’, just us, with no where to go. It was the simple mundane of life with no rush, no stress, no ‘having to be somewhere’, because before long, when you go back to work, life will feel like an endless, drop off/pick up, go here/go there, things to do and places to be. Those months where it is just about you two were and will always be my absolute favourite time of my life.

if I could go back I would pay a cleaner/ helper to come in to do all the housework so I could just focus on DD. Oh and I’d pay them to cook me a meal too. (I was alone 6am - 7/8pm everyday)

I did loads of baby classes, mums groups, walks etc with baby 1 and I was exhausted and he was pretty unsettled!! I was definitely forcing myself because I thought I had to. Baby 2 I have just snuggled at home and I couldn't be happier just soaking him up without the outside pressures. The classes and morning drop offs and extra curricular all increases so quickly so I wish I enjoyed having NO commitments! But it sounds like you are in a good place mentally so do whatever YOU feel like doing on the day!

Congratulations! It’s so lovely you’re enjoying it so much. I also loved my maternity leave. Particularly contact naps and taking baby out in a sling to coffee shops and to meet friends. If I could do it again, I’d do more of the same!

Taken my baby to my mum’s more and made the most of the time to be able to see my parents with the children while they were babies.

I loved maternity leave too. I probably worried about money too much during the leave - but I think that I’m just a natural worrier!

Like you, I loved the slower pace. I’d love to go back and do it again - even with the crappy nights and feeling dreadful!

And more cake!

I would ditch the baby classes and do more of the things I enjoyed like museums, galleries and concerts.

Making mum friends esp with babies the same age

Ohh enjoy, I loved mat leave but got a bit stir crazy so had to get out every day. If it did it again I'd chill out at home more, get things organised and cuddle and watch TV. When they're toddlers you did truly have to get out the house daily and now at 4 I never get a minutes peace!

Enjoy taking your time. Enjoy if you can, leisurely coffees our or at home. If weather better, enjoy walks in park or coast or where you live. Enjoy cooking if you like it at home, yoga or whatever exercise at home or baby yoga classes. Enjoy allowing yourself to daydream, to read, to watch films, to enjoy art/ galleries. Enjoy not being in the clock for work. Enjoy watching and being with your child. Enjoy the seasons changing. Enjoy it all x

I don't think I would prioritise classes as such. When I had my first, looking back, just being with him was so, so special. Sure we did some classes, but the opportunity to just do every day stuff with him, withouth work was so special! It wasn't the same with my others. We used to pop into town by bus or walk down, go and visit my mum a bus ride away, I would drive somewhere at nap time and just sit and relax with him close. It was a happy time.