To go out once a week as a mum of a 6 year old?

It’s not a strange post - I have kids similar ages and am probably out one night a month, husband even less. I think it would absolutely be fine for me to be out more and my kids would be fine (although they prefer when I’m around) but I love spending time with my kids. I’m finding the messages to tell your child to just zip it tricky to hear tbh. Two things can be true - your child can prefer you around but you may prefer some time to yourself. However, there is absolutely a way to be compassionate about this and no need to be harsh to your child when communicating a new routine to them.

Of course it’s fine. Surely hes asleep for most of it anyway. I have 1 year old, do choir one night a week and probably go out another night every other week to the cinema or drinks

My husband goes to play football one evening a week, doesn’t bat an eyelid about going, leaves before the kids are in bed and back when they are! Would a dad ask this or be judged on it?? Some mums do evening exercise classes, same thing - still out the house. Mums can live too!

No but it's totally down to what you and your son are used to. I travel a bit for work and people often ask if my son (also 6) 'minds'. I've done it since 2021 so it's all he knows, he grumbles when I leave and wants and extra cuddle but after that doesn't mention it.
Me and my partner both have our activity night - I do Mon and Wed, he does Tues and Thurs, plus I go out in the day or evening at the weekend pretty often. Routine is key, my son knows X night is my night and Y is his daddy's. I always make time for him at other times and would never be out for more than two nights in a row.

No, as a child in the 80’s most parents socialised one or two nights a week.
Continue to do that or he might grow up as one of those men who dislikes their partner/wife going out and will interfere with it by sulking.
Teach him it is normal.

Of course it’s fine

Noooo, I am just joking here! Honestly, I can’t believe anyone would think parents shouldn’t exercise, go out, etc. In real life, everyone I know, makes time for themselves whether they are a parent or not! But on here for many people think that being a parent (well, specifically a mother) means you should totally neglect yourself…and that that somehow benefits your child!!

Here is @Cherrytree86 on other thread

your parents lifestyle of never being away from you thier child, never socialising and never going to bed past 9pm is NOT the norm, OP (well, not the norm for anyone under the age of 85 years old anyway). For most people that sounds deathly boring and monotonous. Life is for living

I think we have an odd bod on our hands here!

Your 6 year old does not get to have an opinion on how often you go out. His dad is there.

Just imagine the likes of @Cherrytree86 as your own DM or MIL.

Judgey and nasty about any parent decision that you take that they don’t agree with. The scathing looks, barbed comments.

Just awful.

@Cherrytree86it should be.
For both physical and mental health. It also sets a good example to your children and shows them from an early age that their parents have other dimensions to their personality.

Great!!

If you indulged him on this, he’d no doubt be appearing as the controlling DH in mumsnet threads in 30 years time!

Your 6 year old DS “mama’s boy” sounds as though he’s becoming a controlling prince.

You and your husband show a united front and dismiss his whining about you seeing friends every now and then in the evening.

Isn't your son in bed in rhe evenings? You need a life of your own as well as being a Mum

No

My oldest is 23, my youngest get is 5 and I have one inbetween … so I shouldn’t have taken time to exercise for the last 23 years? Righto…

This has to be a wind up 🤣 …. 10 years! 😳

Don’t be ridiculous 😂😂😂

@Olinguita

exercise just isn’t a priority when the children are young

No gym until the kid is much older? So if a woman has more than one kid, are you seriously suggesting she should just....not exercise outside the home for potentially a decade? No gym, yoga, Pilates, netball whatever? Just curious about your thinking. You do realise that women are a lot more susceptible to conditions like osteoporosis, pelvic floor issues and back problems if they don't exercise, right?
Nights out once every six weeks tops seems a bit restrictive. My preschooler goes to bed by 8pm. Does it really affect him emotionally if I pop out for a pint down the pub with a friend after he is asleep and leave DH in charge? Or go to a gym class? Or is it just the principle of me as a mum of a young child being outside the home in the night time?

God no. I was only 22 when I had him. I had no pressure, eveyone I knew was just finishing uni.

I mean, I didn’t want to leave him. I planned to be a SAHM. I don’t know what it was. But I didn’t do a thing without him for 12 years. It didn’t help that I moved us to a rural place though. No one wanted to come up and stare at sheep and I was the youngest by about 40 years.

His sister was born when he was 12. I lived in London then and had met a lovely bunch of people. I was out all the time, I had a life and interests. It was brilliant. I was a far better parent for it.

@Quagmireschin

thats really sad. When you look back what do you think made you feel you had to be that way? Societal pressure?

I have a 6yo and I go out one evening a week to line dancing and once a month to a writers group. My DH does tennis and table tennis. I like the fact our DD sees that we also enjoy hobbies and have interests. Then once a month grandparents babysit whilst we have a date night. I think it does wonders for our mental health which helps us be better parents to her. Also she adores her grandparents so she loves it.