To ask if you grew up in a clean and tidy home?

Yes, very clean and very tidy. I am the same and so is DSis

My mother was indifferent when it came to housework and I learned nothing from her about routines etc. My best friend's mother was ultra-houseproud and I was always ashamed if my friend came to visit as the difference between our two homes was noticeable. I left home at 18 to move to a different city and didn't have a clue how to keep my little flat ship-shape, but I've learned over the decades, and now keep a reasonable house, cleaner than my mother's but not up to the standard of my friend's mother.

Ha! Two minutes after I replied to this thread I got photos from one of my daughters of before and after she’d cleaned her oven! Chip off the old block!

My mum was clean and tidy and ironed everything and so do I.

No and my mother’s house now is a health hazard. My house is clean and tidy. My gran was obsessively neat and clean. Her house was like a showhome. I remember helping put up her net curtains after they were washed and she had a small mark on the very centre of the top hem and the same on the hanging wire so she could line them up perfectly,

Our house, growing up, was always really clean but with 4 kids not exactly tidy. Our house is clean but it's really untidy. There is just no room for storage which is really annoying.

Same.

No. Mother was excessively tidy, food & kitchen hygiene were non-existent.

Brother & I are both the reverse.

I meant to mention, though, that my DH (who will be 60 later this year) is still in classic rebellion mode after growing up in a house that was hospital-clean and show home-tidy at all times, and seems happiest when our place is a complete tip. He thinks the only people who care about these things are people like his mum (who I'm pretty sure has OCD where house cleanliness and tidiness are concerned, and whose gems of wisdom include the notion that men don't need to be taught to cook or clean because 'that's the job of their wives'), and doesn't seem capable of seeing that there's a ton of middle ground and that in fact most people inhabit said middle ground!

He has a pet theory that (obvious things like toilets and kitchen surfaces aside) most people live in homes that are dirty and untidy most of the time, with their occupants apparently just having a mad dash round when visitors are due. He's absolutely convinced of this. 🙄You can imagine how easy it is(n't) keeping the house decent when he has this attitude - tbf he has got better at doing certain chores, but asking him to do specific things (e.g. dusting) always results in a tiresome back-and-forth because according to him it 'doesn't need doing', it 'doesn't matter', and 'nobody notices'. 🙄

I spent my 20s in a relationship where I was expected to do all the housework simply because I was a woman (I didn't, btw), and now I'm in my 50s I'm with a man who wants both of us to do practically no housework and spend the time dossing about instead, because according to him no one else does housework either. He's a great husband in most other ways and his laxity about housework doesn't extend to other areas, otherwise I wouldn't still be with him, but his attitude towards house maintenance really tests my patience and I absolutely think his upbringing is the cause. Having said that, at nearly 60 he's clearly never going to grow out of it...

I did, and I am not. I find very clean and tidy houses disturbing. I still feel shame, inadequacy and expect to be scolded when I unexpectedly hear washing machines/hoovers etc going (my washing machine is out the back of the kitchen and I run it at night).

Every Sunday was cleaning day. No fun until that was done. All hell broke loose over a crumb. I do understand why my mum was like that - she needed a little control in her life, but it was fucking stifling.

I may have gone too far the other way though.

My grandmother had a tidy but lived in house, I never saw her clean, she must have done some, but not in some 50s housewife style. They weren't horders, but there would be bills and work related paperwork on the dining room table and they had loads of knickknacks. It was a fun house.

My mother was quite similar, the house was kept tidyish, and the hoover went round a couple of times a week (we had a dog), but she was never a typical housewife, always cleaning etc. It was seen as something that had to be kept on top of, but not the top priority. Toys went away in the large toy box when it was time to hoover and friends were always welcome.

I think I follow a similar pattern, although when I worked outside the home and had DC at home I also had a weekly cleaner. Now I can do it myself. I have less clutter/ornaments than my mother and grandmother had. My house has a lived in look and if there are dishes on the side, because I haven't rotated the dishwasher for the day, then that's fine.

My DH on the other hand comes from a line of working class women for whom having a spotlessly clean house was very important. Think along the lines of bleaching the front step and sweeping the path outside. When I first met MIL I couldn't believe how tidy and spotless the house was, the bathrooms weren't clean they shone with brightness from the sparkling taps. I admire that she could do this, work full-time and bring up 3 kids.

Interestingly all 3 kids now have much lower standards, with houses with the lived in feel. For DH it is my influence, but for the other 2, who are both either single parents or have been for a period, it is out of choice.

The only person I know now who has the perfect house, no mess, no clutter and cleaned within an inch of its life is my sister. Her DH is one of the people who has cleared and washed up your mug before you have finished drinking your tea. He has also been known to repaint a whole room because of a mark on the wall that you needed a magnifying glass to see. It is not a relaxing environment.

yes, but I'm naturally messy - but I've learnt to confine my mess as DH is very tidy and that is nicer.

Best friend grew up in a house that was borderline 'posh' hoarding - lots of antiques and collectables but everywhere and so dusty. Her house is the same - very messy. But she loves it all.

My dad was super tidy and liked to clean
and my mum was the opposite. She also didn’t throw much away. I don’t remember my house being dirty but equally I don’t have memories of it being clean either. My house is always clean and the downstairs rooms are tidy and organised. My kitchen is cleaned daily before I go to bed. Upstairs bathroom is clean and tidy, teenage girls rooms are untidy!

Not really. It was ok.. Decently decorated and maintained ext but not tidy. There was always a bit of a panic and a race to do a quick tidy up if someone said they were popping around in half an hour and a quick rush upstairs to put clean towels in the bathroom if anyone dropped by unexpectedly and I am the same 😁

My mother was obsessive about cleanliness and tidyness. I think it was a coping/control mechanism.

Me, not so much. I try but am not great at it. The house is too cluttered by DP's hobby stuff. And we have a black dog whose hair goes everywhere. Floors are swept/vacuumed daily but when I look again within minutes there's more of it gathering.

I grew up in a cluttered, dirty house and fucking hated it. Some people would call it ‘lived in’ but I did and still do carry so much shame about it

As an adult my own house is always clean, tidy and visitor ready. But it’s not a sterile show home.

Yes. Yes I'm tidy too. *you're not your.

My mum didn't teach me much in the way of housekeeping skills. She vacuumed now and again, never dusted and never tidied up, yet it wasn't rocket science to work out what needed doing. I will have learned how to clean a kitchen at school because we did home economics, but a lot of house cleaning is just common sense.

I grew up in a clean and tidy home, was an only child. I have 3 kids and about to have my 4th, i struggle to keep it clean and tidy and its been really mentallly hard to adjust to.

Incredibly clean and tidy.
Tbh when mum was dying I knew that was the end - she had carers who fucked up the airing cupboard and she didn't care. That was very sad.

My house is ok now, but its very big. Everyone says its clean and tidy but it makes me anxious constantly.

There was grime everywhere. The floors were never washed. I keep quite a clean and tidy home most of the time.

I did, DM was a housekeeper and as a result treated our house as she did work - everything dusted and hoovered daily; frequently wore the labels off the cooker and washer.

DH grew up in abject chaos bordering on neglect- untidy and filthy; MIL still lives like this.

Our house is clean, but not always totally tidy as we have a 5yo DS and both work - DH full time, I’m self employed so it’s seasonal.

Same. I actually wish my parents had made me help more with the housework growing up.

Yes. Very very tidy. My own home now is quite messy

I'm the opposite. Grew up in a messy borderline hoardy house (not particularly unclean) and I am extremely fastidious about hygiene and can't relax in the evening until everything is tidy and in it's correct place (have to resist hoarding tendencies though). I have had mild to moderate OCD about cutlery and plates being clean and hand washing since early teens, mainly due I think to my parents slapdash approach.