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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to keep the peace anymore?

90 replies

MarriedWithCauldron · 20/01/2026 12:40

I’ve been a member of our local WI on and off for years now. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine - I’m not going to kowtow to people. A few years back they voted me out, although I refuse to believe this was a genuine vote; there was definitely something going on behind the scenes.

Anyway, last year I got voted back in. Some people weren’t happy, but one of the older members who had been instrumental in getting me out was, frankly, starting to lose the plot, so a lot of others felt my uncompromising personality was what was needed to take things forward. One of my first tasks on rejoining was to try to get control of the kitty from another member, who I’ll call Dotty. Dotty is convinced it’s up to her to decide what happens to the kitty, but disagree - I’m in a far better position to control it.

Anyway, last week was the flower arranging contest. My arrangement was clearly the best by miles, but Nora, the head judge, is one of the people who has a problem with me, so refused to give me first prize. I was fuming. I deserved that prize and no one else! I decided there and then I didn’t owe any of them any favours and was just going to do what I thought best from now on.

The situation with Dotty and the kitty is getting silly now and people are just refusing to listen to reason. I’ve said I want her out and will do what I have to to make sure it happens. Quite a few of the others are huffing and puffing and saying I’m just causing arguments, but frankly I don’t care anymore. I’m done playing peacemaker.

What I can’t believe is the nerve of Nora and her neighbour, Freda, who have messaged me saying I need to stop this and to make sure we don’t all fall out. After what Nora did to me over the flower arranging prize! I messaged back saying “Since you decided not to give me the prize, even though I REALLY deserved it, I don’t feel like I have to worry about keeping the peace anymore.” I know it will cause ructions, but who cares? I’m right and they’re wrong!

AIBU?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/01/2026 13:32

Lairymary · 20/01/2026 13:31

It's a WI version of the shit Donald is trying to pull.

Oh, well it’s less funny now. Glad it’s amused many others though!

ThatCyanCat · 20/01/2026 13:32

Yes, I'd probably read this novel. You need to make the protagonist somehow likeable if you want her to win; some sort of redemptive arc but staying no nonsense and efficient. Maybe she can have a heartbreaking secret or maybe the whole joke is that she hasn't. Workshop it and see how it goes. You need to keep the tone nice and light.

HappyFace2025 · 20/01/2026 13:32

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 20/01/2026 12:42

Despite what other people will say this is definitely real. I'm Nora and OP is unreasonable and we need to vote her out again.

😂

NinePoppadomsAndASaagAloo · 20/01/2026 13:31

@ToKittyornottoKittyDotty is Denmark, kitty is Greenland, Nora is Norway, the flower arranging is the Nobel Peace Prize and the OP is Donald Trump 🍊

*I think. I try not to watch the news too much!

Lairymary · 20/01/2026 13:31

ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/01/2026 13:28

What are people ‘getting’? It’s funny but I don’t ‘get’ it

It's a WI version of the shit Donald is trying to pull.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/01/2026 13:30

ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/01/2026 13:28

What are people ‘getting’? It’s funny but I don’t ‘get’ it

Analogy to a major global political situation.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/01/2026 13:28

itsgettingweird · 20/01/2026 13:16

Yes I was very surprised how many people didn’t get the 🍊 ones text quoted in there.

Well done OP. A brilliant piece of writing to being relief in an otherwise worrying time. 👏🏻👏🏻

What are people ‘getting’? It’s funny but I don’t ‘get’ it

MarriedWithCauldron · 20/01/2026 13:27

PandoraSocks · 20/01/2026 13:23

Are you going to invade Dotty's house and take the kitty by force @MarriedWithCauldron ?

I refuse to rule it out!

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 20/01/2026 13:25

The penny has just dropped for me too. 😂

PandoraSocks · 20/01/2026 13:23

Are you going to invade Dotty's house and take the kitty by force @MarriedWithCauldron ?

Marmaladelover · 20/01/2026 13:22

Donald , you do know that men won’t be allowed in the WI from next April ?

Have you thought about taking up
golf or maybe improving your tan ?

ps social media is a bummer sometimes - maybe it’s time for a break ?

IDontLikePinaColadas · 20/01/2026 13:21

This is a brilliant analogy! Thank you OP!

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 20/01/2026 13:20

I'm Spartacus.

PandoraSocks · 20/01/2026 13:20

It took me a while to get it 🤣 🍊

ginasevern · 20/01/2026 13:19

Thanks for the laugh OP - or should that be AI. When can we have the next instalment?

stackhead · 20/01/2026 13:19

The insight into how small some people's lives are is fascinating.

Catwalking · 20/01/2026 13:18

what, no flower arrangement pics? 🤔🤔🤔

TheignT · 20/01/2026 13:17

ByTwinklyFish · 20/01/2026 12:43

Is your name Donald?

I'm sure it is.

itsgettingweird · 20/01/2026 13:16

Mumofteenandtween · 20/01/2026 12:56

Took me until the last paragraph to “get it”!😂

Yes I was very surprised how many people didn’t get the 🍊 ones text quoted in there.

Well done OP. A brilliant piece of writing to being relief in an otherwise worrying time. 👏🏻👏🏻

ihavebecomecomfortablynumb · 20/01/2026 13:14

A perfect analogy! 😂

Rictasmorticia · 20/01/2026 13:11

We can’t possibly decide on this unless we have photos and diagrams, Did your flowers even get judged or did someone move them out of sight before judging.

What flowers did you use, was the container the right type and size. Have you underestimated the tight control prevailing on competition entries.

You sound like a thoughtful even handed person and I think you should stop worry about the kitty and apply for Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Hellohelga · 20/01/2026 13:10

Brilliant OP - LOVE IT

Sanasaaa · 20/01/2026 13:07

Hobbies are meant to be fun.
A rage room might be better.

TheatreTheatre · 20/01/2026 13:04

Start charging those who won't kowtow for the tea and biscuits at meetings.

And put up their subs.

VivienneDelacroix · 20/01/2026 13:03

You took the kitty, but did you grab the pussy too?