To lock the bathroom door?

Maybe make an announcement like a train. I‘m going in the bathroom. Do you want to go first?

I’m fed up of dealing with other people drama and just want some privacy too.

OP, yanbu. You married SOOO SOooo down.

You married low class scum.
I am so sorry.
Privacy is SO basic within a normal marriage.

35 years married and we never needed a single conversation about it, because basic respect of each other was our foundation.

This is an awful dynamic.
Stop ignoring it.

@T1Dmama

keep your toothbrushes in a cabinet to protect from poo particles

We don’t have a lock on our bathroom door, we have a closed door policy. If the door is shut you can’t go in. 30 years, two children, numerous sleepovers and guests in that time, never been an issue.

Spot on.

I haven’t read beyond the first comment and just read all yours @Skater78 … but judging by your responses I’m shocked that anyone on here thinks it’s reasonable for your DH to just come and go as he pleases..
You say he locks the door when he’s in the loo? Be petty back and hammer on the door when he’s showering. or even better tell him…. I’m a 40 whatever year old woman … I think I should be allowed to have a 15 minute shower a day in fucking peace!! Be graphic and tell him you actually want to be able to wash your arse hole without someone just walking in without even knocking! Tell him you feel like this is a consent issue and if you want a shower in your own house without someone ANYONE walking in then that is your god given right!!Tell him you find his insistence that you aren’t allowed this privacy very disrespectful and in future if he tries the door and it’s locked he needs to piss off and come back 20 minutes later when you’re done. Tell him that he needs to change his response because he’s being very unreasonable.. he needs to clean his teeth etc before or after your bathroom use as you will be continuing to lock the door as you are entitled to your 15 minutes a day of undisturbed showering etc…
Also I would literally be challenging why he can lock the door and prevent you from using the bathroom when he’s in there, but moans about you doing the same… does he think he’s the lord of the manor? Rules apply to everyone but him?!…
im glad he respects his daughters privacy… maybe ask him how he would feel if his daughters married someone who wouldn’t let them shower in peace or told them whether they were ‘allowed’ to lock their own bathroom doors!!

This. First comment nailed it!
why on earth does he think he has the right to invade your privacy 24/7?
If he knows you’re showering can he not clean his teach prior? Tell him - I’m having a shower shortly - can you clean your teeth now if you’re going to?!
Can the toothbrushes not live somewhere else? Kitchen ? …. I find having toothbrushes in the same room as the loo where we take a dump so unhygienic! It’s proven when the loo is flushed poo and wee particles get into the the air when we flush! 🤮
Does he control other areas of your life too? Listen to your calls? Read your texts? Sulk when you go out so it’s easier not to?

.... or piss in a plastic portable bottle or other container , and then pour it onto the compost , or dilute it x 10 and on the garden .

If a bedroom door or bathroom door is closed —- in my house—- you knock and wait to be invited to enter. It’s respect.

also who could possibly want to be in the bathroom with someone is using the toilet?

He is being unreasonable to expect free entry when you're using the toilet or having a shower. I lock the door when I poo if dp is home. We are very open in our house but we all draw our lines and I don't want him seeing me poo and I also dont want to see him doing a poo.
Sometimes my 5 yo will insist she has to sit with me while I poo, so I unlock the door to let her in then lock it again.
But rely, what matters here is you want privacy and your partner is telling you thats not normal. He's not normal

sorry I meant to tag @TheCheekyCyanHelper instead of you

Tell him to "fuck off". Privacy is a basic human dignity, that should be respected. 💐

That's exactly my point.

Not unreasonable to lock the door. It is unreasonable that you have to!! I don't think the lock works on my bathroom door... It hasn't for years. It doesn't matter because no one goes into the bathroom if someone is in there. I don't lock the door when I go to my partner's house and use a bathroom. It just wouldn't occur to me that I would need to.

@FlippersOrFins

I don’t want to be in the room with anyone who is using the toilet. Yuck.

So you shit in front of all your family members? Cool

I said using the toilet, not being naked.

Having the door locked when showering, isn't a biggy for me but I also don't just walk into the bathroom when my partner is having a shower. I completely understand why you'd want some privacy, especially as your DH is so insistent on you keeping the door unlocked whilst you're in there, that's not normal!! As for locking it when youre on the toilet, WHY would anyone WANT to brush their teeth when the bathroom is already occupied with someone having a poo?? 🤢
He's being massively unreasonable to expect you to keep the door unlocked when you're using the bathroom. He should learn some respect and to wait!!

We have two toilets so no problem if someone needs it.
I don't lock the door if I am having a bath and only DH and I at home in case I don't feel well etc but otherwise do

I didn’t say she didn’t? Nor did I say she was wrong for wanting that? Not sure where you’re making this info up from! I was answering the question that was posed to me!

If it's your choice he certainly should respect that. Many couples don't lock the door, but he should give it rest, and respect your wishes

Do you tell them you're about to get in the bath so that they can use the loo beforehand? I guess by pre-teen you mean late primary age? They should be able to not need to loo in the time it takes you to have a bath. Or are you in there for hours?

We’re both open minded and easy going and would rather have a relaxed environment where we both feel comfortable and free to be ourselves

@Sunsetseascape can you not see that’s exactly what the op wants. An environment where she feels comfortable?

Well we've moved from a three bed house with two bathrooms and a downstairs toilet to a 4 bedroom with upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet only. We both get up at around 5.15am and leave the house at around 6.30am two of the five weekdays so we don't have the luxury of our own bathrooms anymore!

If partner cleaning teeth or on loo I will have a shower and vice versa. Maybe we are the exception rather than the rule. It doesn't bother either of us although I can't stand toothpaste froth spat out, it makes me heave. I just turn my back!

He shouldn't be saying you shouldn't as we are all entitled to privacy. We have a seperate toilet and bathroom so if someone is in the shower we may go in to wash hands maybe but don't usually. The bathroom doesn't have a lock but the toilet does.