Will I be able expected to DTD?

yes I was going to say the same. "smitten" after 4 dates? Be careful OP

10-20 years younger than you? Yuk

I think you and he need to have a conversation about this, explain your fears, he is probably a little nervous too. That's quite normal at any age when you haven't been intimate before. The important thing is good communication and to be kind and loving to each other. I presume desire is there, that is a good start, just don't expect too much. My wish is that you are pleasantly surprised!

First of all, talk, gently and thoroughly. You need reassurance and so does he.

Good luck.

How is him paying for your taxi making you safer?

This

Oh ! Well, maybe that doesn't bode well for sex

I would wait a bit longer. 4 dates in and then a weekend away seems a bit full on. I thinknI would be more cautious.
I used to be fine with a one night stand in my 20s.
But worked hard on myself and boundaries and I would want to know a person better I think than 4 dates worth. I would however change up the dating to do something different to your usual dates and see if you still get on in a different setting.

I think it's heavily implied that "going away together" means sex imo. If it were me I'd decline, until you're already at that stage. He sounds lovely, so I'm sure won't be difficult about it (and if a person IS difficult about this sort of thing then they should be binned off anyway).

Re not wanting sex yet, I don't think that's a problem at all, so long as you know you fancy him. Idk where this notion has come from, that everyone must be gagging for it by the 2nd date? I think historically this hasn't been the norm or the expectation. And for me at least, as well as the hormones not being the same as when I was 14, I'm less trustful, more body conscious, more tired, more distracted by responsibilities, on more medications than when I was younger... all of which reduce my sex drive. It's not abnormal in itself.

It does seem a bit soon for me, but my DH and I did this not long into our relationship, we went on holiday for a week, but slept separately, he had absolutely zero expectations or pressure and to be honest I fell in love with him on that holiday, that was 12 years ago now and I've never looked back.

I'd just take sex off the table, say you are happy to go away but you feel it is too soon for intimacy, then if you do go and he's a perfect gentleman you may find yourself wanting to take things further, or it may just be the next step in your relationship while you build up trust.

But if you are at all unsure then just say no, you'd prefer to wait, in fairness there is something about 'scheduling' intimacy that puts me right off to be honest.

I wouldn't let anyone pay for me at this stage. IF I couldn't afford something, we would do something cheaper!
I don't think this applies later on, by the way, if one person is richer than the other.

If you don't fancy him after 4 dates it's time to call it, I think.

If you don't feel like having sex, you don't have to. He's not necessarily expecting it (I had some lovely nights away when I did OLD, sometimes separate beds, sometimes same bed but not always sex) but you could broach the subject beforehand. If it's the only reason he's taking you away, it's not a great sign.

You shouldn’t be struggling to fancy him! What are you doing woman???

it’s nothing to do with age

Sorry meant to add, I’ve got round this by suggesting an air bnb with two bedrooms. Though I haven’t told him yet that I’m planning on using one of them, I don’t think it’ll be an issue though

If you really wanted to go you would be packing your bag instead of asking us what we think ! Trust your gut.

But why didn't you pay for them yourself. Or alternate?

Also, if he's already told you he's 'smitten' that can be a red flag. Together with the paying for everything and wanting to go away so soon it does sound like he's just in it for sex.

I could’ve written something similar to this as I’m going through the same thing, sort of… For me it’s the thought of sleeping together (ie in the same bed, overnight) that is worrying me more than having sex. I do think he’s taking it slowly too so I’m not too worried about that but I feel that sharing a bed is so intimate and I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. (It freaks me out more than having sex tbh!)

Probably yes, age and hormones. Perimenopause and menopause can cause both insomnia and lack of a sex drive. Talk to your GP about taking testosterone for lack of sex drive. And this will sound bizarre, but apparently eating 2 kiwis about 2 hours before bed can really help with insomnia.

With regards to the other stuff, a night away after 4 dates seems early to me. What are your living situations like at home? Could you bring him home after a date if you wanted sex or go to his house? Personally, I think I'd prefer that for my 1st time of being intimate with him. You'd have more control of the situation compared to being away in an unknown hotel room somewhere.

I wouldn’t take him up on the offer of a hotel without thinking about having sex with him.
I also wouldn’t take taxi fare either until I was sure that I wanted a relationship.
They feel you owe them something when you put yourself in a takers position.

Don’t go away with him if you aren’t ready to have sex. Why are you letting him pay for taxis and dinner? I wouldn’t suggest separate rooms (unless you paying for your own room - just say not ready to go away. And stop letting him pay for tacos and dinner.

I think going away for the night before you do it is the wrong order of things.

I wouldn’t do that. By all means havefun whenever you are ready but at his or your place first. The last thing you want is to be stuck somewhere remote and something cringe happens (or is produced) and needing to escape out of there.

no way. By the way you will fall for him
a bit more once you have sex, there is no safe sex, no such thing as a condom for your heart.

Be careful out there.
Good luck x

Have fun girl!!