People who don’t ask questions

No. I simply don’t believe how you can have a proper two way conversation without either party ever asking a question of the other. I am a sociable 50 year old and have never witnessed this.

You’ve had this answered multiple times on this thread - you know exactly what people would do, you just don’t “get it”.

Agree, especially when say you are at a works event and get seated for a meal with someone you don't know. One of you has to start the conversation, now if one person sits down all of a flutter and says - Jesus just got locked in my hotel bathroom and nearly didn't make it - that is your starter for ten but if you sit down and just say hello then one person has to do the "which office are you based at" or, "how was the journey up, are you staying over, what's the hotel like as when I last stayed there it was fab/rubbish etc". Well suppose you don't, you can sit in silence.

My two penneth on the people who struggle because of neuro diversity - it wouldn't bother me if someone said sorry I cannot do small talk because of my amazing nd brain so I am not being rude - and we would find a way through. But obviously appreciate not every one would want to say that.

We had a lovely dinner with friends last night conversation flowed. But when there was a pause usually someone said “did you read that book in the end?” Or something to prompt more conversation .

Taking that A B conversation at face value I read it as the work situation is one that's both ongoing and unchanging. The person wanted to refer to it maybe to explain the "long face" to the other person but they also didn't to dwell too much on it so they asked the question about the other person's date to move the conversation on to something else.

But what's important that's been glided over? To me it just sounds like two colleagues or friends/acquaintances that have bumped into each other and are exchanging news. It's not the time for greater depth. It's the headlines in this situation. It might lead to more depending on the relationship. What would you do differently here?

But the question kicks off the conversation. How do you initiate a conversation without a question to the other person?

I'm sure loads of people on the thread who ask questions are English. Myself included.

Exactly. I’m only half English!

Yes - that's my thinking too. I'm also not English (but am from the UK - am Scottish).

I 100% agree with you. This sounds so superficial to me, like people going through the motions of moronic chit-chat and gliding over anything actually important.

I'm not English, though.

People not asking questions are just bores in my opinion. They have no conversation skills. I have an autistic child and we're really working on those skills as they're so important.

Interesting - see - I would have thought person A was rude in this conversation (remember I'm not good at this - so aware I might be way off track!!)

If I was person A, I would have asked a follow up Q about the boss and the deadline and would have expected to follow that train of thought for 5-10 mins to give the other person time/space.

That is of course completely different to the scenario I describe above where I've just answered a Q about myself and an on the floor with overwhelm by the end of my last sentence.

This means that if I was person B, I wouldn't have been great at answering the followup question.

The context switching in this conversation would confuse me too. Tired, shit week, boss, deadline, date, chemistry all in the course of 20s. By the time I was being asked about the chemistry my head would be spinning as I'd be concerned about whether my friend is OK as they've opened the conversation saying they are not doing great this week.

Not sure. It makes me feel awful that people probably think I'm being rude or only interested in myself when in fact am working really hard to try to engage.

Certainly if I am aware that I'm in a conversation where someone else is overwhelmed I'll either try to steer the conversation to the most lightweight questions where even 'yes', 'no' works, or just stand in silence for a while and allow the lulls/pauses to happen. Slowing the rate/flow of conversation makes it easier for me to process and engage so presuming that works for others too.

What’s the best way to navigate this?!? So many people neurodivergent so many people not. What’s the easiest way round this ? Btw I’m probably a bit more on the Nerodivverse side but can function ok in other situations

Gawd this is me - 100%. I am AuDHD. Usually what happens is the other person will ask me a polite question. Trying to answer will flummox me - I'll be wildly masking, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to say, how much I'm supposed to share (even 'how are you?' is a really loaded question if you don't understand the social rules). I'll be working on trying to make eye contact, trying to answer the question, trying not to say anything so weird as to make the other person feel uncomfortable. Then eventually I'll stop talking - hugely overwhelmed and mind racing. After about 20s I'll remember I'm supposed to ask a polite question too - and I have to go through the whole thing again - trying to figure out what to ask.

Not trying to be rude. Don't like talking about myself either. Just not good at this.

I met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years. We lost touch over the years. We went out for a few drinks. I gave up drinking a good while ago so was just drinking soft drink and was clear headed. I hadn’t realised how much she talked about herself. Anytime I shared something, it was back to talking about herself. It was so incredibly one-sided that I realised it had always been this way.
we didn’t meet up again. I don’t have time for people like this anymore.

I had to learn how to do this as an adult.

I have an aunt, who is probably on the spectrum, whose questioning growing up was so inappropriate that I think I subconsciously adopted the idea that questioning is rude. As a late teen/early 20s I only allowed myself to ask the same questions someone had asked me already.

Haha yes, it can take a bit of getting used to

Asking someone how they are and general questions about their life isn't personal or rude - that is how conversation works.

It would be interesting to know if she thought “At last, I prefer my meet ups so much better when people don’t talk.” or “What the hell’s wrong with her?”

This would annoy the hell out of me. The implication being they are not interested in you or in making bonds with you over shared chat. But some people just don't seem to know how to ask questions. Are they shy? Are they afraid of appearing rude? It's not realistic to expect them to change. Just have to adjust your expectations.
Also that thing of when you offer an experience/anecdote then they offer their closest equivalent experience without any further follow up questions about your experience. So TIRING and I soon lose interest... Do they do that?
Is your DH surprised at all by this from his DS?

Mmm, have been in the same situation with in-laws, it's very trying and ultimately kills conversation because things are so one sided . . .

Omg yes - now I’m definitely a talker. I’m interested in finding out about people. But my first visit to Oz I was blown away by the amount of people, who just started chatting to be and telling me their life stories unprompted 🤣

I think if you're not the sort of person that monologues easily then a companion willing to ask questions is just easier. A lot of us can't easily do the "if they want to tell us something they just will" mindset because we will lose our confidence talking without questions or other appropriate feedback.

I doesn't have to be a specific question that gives permission to talk about a specific topic, I think that's a bit of a straw man. How are you doing? What's up with you? general questions are quite open ended.

Agree, changing the dynamics isn't easy. I think sometimes it's hard for people to be compatible.