People who don’t ask questions

I'm with you OP. We had a Christmas exactly like this. In laws were on broadcast and asked absolutely nothing about us - be it chit chat about work, school, friends or hobbies - literally nothing!
I find it quite offensive and very arrogant but it's always been like this so I know nothing will change.

This

Wasn't until a newish friend got upset and had it out with me that I never ask her questions.

I tend to massively overshare then hope other person does the same back. I hate asking questions.

I feel its being so rude and nosey but friend pointed out that she thought I came across as self absorbed. However I thought I convo with her was 20 questions as she would just keep firing questions at me that I answered but she never carried on convo about herself, she would just fire another question.

All my children have adhd and asd so does make me wonder about my own brain.

My parents are like this - especially my mum. She’s only recently started to say ‘how are you’. But not interested in the reply.
I do some really interesting things but when I see her, she just talks about what’s going on with her! It’s so strange.
I also find it rude that your guests don’t ask.
someone commented that it’s a class thing but I know a true upper class family and their extended family are very inquisitive - all of them.

I have been in my step childrens’ lives for 30 years, they are now in their 30’s. They lived with us permanently throughout large sections of their childhood, teen years and 20’s. During their years of boyfriends, girlfriends, co habiting partners and marriage I have noted that none of the younger generation has any interest in or curiosity about me. No interest in my job, my experiences, my advice, me as a functioning member of society. I find it rather sad.

I have mentioned it a few times to DH but I don’t think he gets it. I don’t need their attention or approval but it’s quite disconcerting being completely see through in your own life.

But aren't you interested to know what Jane did when she went away last weekend and how Brian's promotion is going? I just do not understand people who "forget" to ask questions. I think, if I'm honest, I find it hard to believe.....if you love/like someone you're actively interested in their lives

There another reason too, apart from not to want to be seen prying.

There is complete self-absorption. I sat next a woman at a school play last week. She started making small talk (which I hate) but reciprocated anyway and asked what scene her daughter was in.

There then followed about 15 minutes about her daughter, how good she was at drama, her other daughter and how good she was at sport etc etc etc. I just nodded and said "Hmmmm" but in my head I was wondering how long it would take her to ask about my child.

She didn't!! I stopped making eye contact and moved my body away from her to signal I didn't want to engage any more. But she kept going on and on and on.

She didn't ask one question to me. I ended up pretending to need the toilet and walked away. Came back and she still tried to engage and tell me MORE about her kids.

I'm not sure being so early for the play to have a good seat, was worth it in the end!

Also on some dates I've listened to some drone on and on. About their kids, their ex, their amazing job. But never a question to me! That's why first dates for me are only half an hour.

I'm completely opposite, I ask loads of questions sometimes too many. And often have to end up apologising.

"Ooo your brother lives in Australia ? Do you visit often? How did your parents feel? What made them decide on Australia"

Sorry that was a rant!!!

I am a bit like this. Unless I think up questions to ask beforehand, the thought doesn’t occur to me whilst in the social situation (even with my closest family that I adore!). It’s not because I don’t care…more like my brain just doesn’t work properly under social pressure. It usually occurs to me after the event that I should have asked some questions and ideas spring to mind that would have been polite without snooping.
I doubt people would think I was nervous or anything because it’s not nerves exactly…they probably just assume I am rude/don’t care. Trying to get better at planning ahead with at least a couple of things to ask.

Oh don't be ridiculous. No-one's suggesting they should ask the OP and her DH about their sex life or their salaries. Just questions that display a normal level of interest in what they think/like/do, etc.

Do they tend to mostly have conversations that aren't just about their respective everyday lives, though? I chatted socially to some acquaintances for an hour today but we talked about subjects like things in the news, possible venues for one of them to run an activity, and how to season or not season a cast iron pan (etc), not each other?

I think you can be interested in people’s lives (your family) without being rude. I have a friend who asks a lot of prying and rude questions but I don’t think asking about how you spend your life generally is crossing a line.

I didn't used to ask so many questions when I was younger as I felt embarrassed or that it might be rude.

I hate being asked lots of questions. I feel like I am being challenged or intimidated. Once a friend I hadn't seen for a while asked me to rate my life from 1-10. I was so confused. It seemed weird and competitive and pressured. I would rather be asked what I was having for tea, and see how the conversation develops. I find sharing anecdotes easier. I'd take turns with it, I like hearing other people's stories and opinions. Thinking about it, my friend had probably been told to do the rating thing on a training course. It felt so impersonal, like a conversation opener. It just made me feel guarded. Maybe your friends are just rude, but maybe they prefer a different style of conversation.

How do you get to know more about your friends and family's lives?

It’s rude to show absolutely no interest in other people, do you just talk about yourself all the time?

I'm with you op....it drives me mad!!! Recently met up with my cousin who I've not seen for 10 years. She hardly spoke, hardly spoke to my sons or myself. She's back home in America now and unless I message her first we don't hear from her. At all. Now I'm not bothering....sick of one sided conversation

It’s one of the worst things about online dating - the amount of men that ask zero questions whatsoever and leave you carrying the conversation. And I know from guys it’s equally as bad with women.

I don’t understand how they don’t realise you have to ask questions to get to know someone enough to know if you want to date them and to show interest?

These are educated, professional men.

I take it as a sign that we’re not well aligned and unmatch quite quickly but it makes me wonder what happens when two people who dont ask questions try to date…?

🙄

My DM is like this. I could tell her I spent the weekend with an alien and all I’d get back would be her telling me what SHE did at the weekend. She has no social graces and thinks asking people about their lives is prying, whereas I think not asking is rude and shows an absolute lack of interest in other people. She’s down to her last friend which is sad but predictable.

I think its exactly because they don't care. They're not interested

I know a few people like that. Makes conversation verrrry hard work.

My partner is not one for asking questions. He says it because growing up his mum was very nosey and would ask anyone she came into contact with about their personal business with no awareness of how inappropriate it was or how it made the one being questioned uncomfortable.
He said he would find it really embarrassing so it made him go the complete opposite way!