People who don’t ask questions

This.
I hate it when people keep asking me questions. It's like being interrogated.
By all means ask a question or two to get things going but then I prefer to listen to what people say and offer my own experience or opinion. In return they can do the same.
I prefer it when people just start with some interesting thing they've been doing, have read, place they've been etc. Then I can follow up with similar. No need for a load of questions.

If someone needs support they can ask for it, surely?

I’m sure people have got worse. Just no art of conversation at all.
Maybe. I find older people (meaning ones who didn't grow up with mobile phones and the internet) tend to be good at talking a lot but the questions seem to be laboured.
I get asked things like:
How's work?, How far is it to work? (I WFH) , How far is it? (why are you asking me questions when you CBA to listen to the answer?) How's the cat? ...

They've known me all my life and that's the best they can do.

I’m sure people have got worse. Just no art of conversation at all.

I belong to a group and had to spend time with a particular woman. I said, “I was really upset about the Swiss nightclub tragedy - those poor young people.” She said, “Oh.” That was it. Then I said something about Greenland. She said “Oh.” She then spent twenty minutes telling me about her dilemma over loose covers.

Dsis is the same. Me: “I flew to Mars yesterday and met lots of little green men.” Silence. Even, “”Dd has a new job.” Silence. I have learnt to say nothing at all and just be an ear. I’m not exaggerating as if overheard dh/dcs remark, “All you ever say is Mmm or Oh I know”

They have very poor conversation skills it seems

You could try questions like 'Don't you think Donald Trump is marvellous?' Or 'How was rehab this time round?' That should get things moving.

I don't feel like I've got that much space to keep up with the ins-and-outs of that many people, relatives or no. What's the point? Most people's lives are more-or-less the same, why do I need to know everything they've done for the past ten years (this is also why I don't do social media)?

If it's only every ten years, I'd rather have one, stimulating conversation about a particular topic than a breakdown of all the holidays you've had. For me, it's the latter that is superficial - everyone just blends into one, bland mass of work, kids, holidays. These are the conversations you have with your hairdresser, not people you're close to.

@Caspianberg , I would expect more than a yes or no. Yes i do abc on a Friday with xyz etc, have you seen or tried that?
Ideally, yes, but some will say 'No' or 'Yes, (something really boring).' whereas 'Yes.../Not really. How about you?' would be better.

If people can't be arsed with small talk, further questions are annoying.

Oh God, this with bells on!

I have to force myself to ask even reciprocal questions. It just doesn’t occur to me. I am interested in areas of similarly between me and the other person, but I don’t care about their hobbies or whether they’re organised for Christmas or where they’re going on holiday or what their favourite colour is. So, if they volunteer this information, fair enough, I will listen politely, but I will rarely ask them, even if they have already asked me. If they happen to mention, for example, that they have IBD, or that they studied with the OU, or they like knitting, I’ll be right there for that and will show an interest and have a good conversation. But I rarely ask outright questions. It seems intrusive. I suspect it probably isn’t most of the time and that I’m just rather lacking in the social skills department!

I’d expect someone to just tell me that anyway - why would they need to be asked or prompted?

Honestly, my experience is that most people don’t actually care about how you are, your health issues, your annoying manager or the fact that you tried a new takeaway on the weekend - they’re asking because it’s the “correct” thing to do.

Personally I have no interest in other people’s work or what they did at the weekend - unless they’ve done something massively interesting or unusual in which case I’d expect them to tell me anyway without needing to be prompted like a child.

Let’s face it, most people’s lives are fairly dull and just not really that interesting to chat about.

Honestly if people aren’t showing interest, they probably don’t like you very much. I can carry a conversation with someone I like and ask questions and am interested in their life.
But there are some family members that seem to “monologue” about their day/life and it’s tedious to listen to. Or I’m happy they’re doing well but I don’t really care to ask the details as I find them irritating. Just focus on the ones who are interested and who you enjoy being around.

Oh yes to the curiosity. My mum mentions something she’s read, I ask a question about it to understand what she means. Oh I don’t know. But you brought it up!

I agree with this 100% but also to be more blunt, I sometimes think it is outright rude! OP I was having this exact conversation with my DH last night. I met up with a couple of nursery mums the other week - we hadn’t seen eachother since before Christmas and all been away on holiday so not caught up about any of that. One of them is great and chatty and the other allows you to ask her questions like ‘how was your Christmas/holiday etc’ at which point I personally would say ‘bla bla.. and yours?’ but no, nothing. Not one question, no ‘and how about you?’. I’ve noticed this the more times I have caught up with her!

@EsmaCannonball sorry i dont agree whatsoever. There is a difference between asking someone how their bowel movement was this morning and how their holiday was (especially if they have just asked about yours!!)

I dislike talking about myself. It's rude and intrusive to ask people personal questions and it's rude and boring to talk about yourself. I only ask people personal questions if they clearly need to talk about themselves and are looking for prompts or affirmation.

Bear in mind they are on holiday and may want a break from going over their everyday lives.

Even to your own sibling? This is dh's sister, not a random at the bus stop

It's his sister, why don't hoj know about each others lives? If they're so disinterested in maintaining a relationship normally, what led to them staying with you.

It reads like old school friends who lost touch, now they need accommodation nearby something and you're the most useful address but they don't actually want to reignite the friendship.

Notl like siblings.

I agree OP. I think some people don’t learn these conversational skills growing up, I was like that. I then became an over sharer and now I am more thoughtful about what to ask but it still doesn’t come to me naturally!

What you’ve said reminds me of an episode of Here We Go where a family visits and they are polite etc but the BIL just doesn’t ask any questions or carry a conversation.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001vvg0

Here We Go

My in-laws are like this and it makes spending time with them very difficult. They're very happy to talk at length about themselves but ask us absolutely nothing. We had a sabbatical overseas a while ago, for six months, and they didn't ask a single question about it. DH tried to bring it up and they just started talking about their friend's trip to the same country 😕I think in their case it's because his DM likes being the centre of attention. If other people are talking then she can't be, so it has to be her doing the talking. They do also have an astounding lack of curiosity.

What you've described is someone who has few social skills. That's not your fault. I don't think it means that questions are wrong.