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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how anyone can believe in a religion?

219 replies

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 14:04

I can understand why some believe in a higher power, in many ways it’s logical and many might just feel there is one, some people might refute that, all fine and dandy.

But what on earth makes people follow a religion? There’s literally hundreds of them over the course of history, even a rudimentary bit of research/critical thinking highlights the fact they can only be man made, the rules designed to fulfil a particular mundane purpose.

What makes people pick one (beyond being born in a certain place to a certain family) over all others and go “ yep this is the one truth, these rules come from a specific god/gods/goddesses, these rules other religions are just made up”.

I mean for many it’s not just a hobby, they’re willing to shape their lives to whatever set of rules they pick, sometimes to kill and be killed. Why??? Even a second of thought must highlight their folly?

it’s not about whether a higher power exists, it’s about why people have to frame that belief on a set of clearly made up rules, which range from the bizarre (don’t eat meat on a Friday) to the downright dangerous )it’s justified to kill anyone who doesn’t believe the same set of made up rules as you do)

AIBU to wonder why people follow religions?

OP posts:
5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:49

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:40

Why? Life is a lot simpler without having spurious beliefs. I can't understand why anyone would want a life after death. This life is taxing enough without any more of it.

That's not how I feel. I love life. Never want it to end. My only sorrow is that people i love have died, and will die. If I thought there was an everlasting life where I'd see them again it would be a huge comfort.

hahagogomomo · 19/01/2026 15:49

Religion is as much about community, friendship and routine as faith. If you haven’t ever been part of one you won’t understand.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:48

Octavia64 · 19/01/2026 15:46

um, why not?

unlike Islam which holds that the Koran is divine revelation, it’s quite clear in Christianity that the bible is not divine revelation, the Old Testament is a mix of history/poetry/etc and the New Testament is four accounts of the life of Jesus plus some letters.

in addition it is made very clear that Jesus is introducing a new covenant so that the rules etc of the Old Testament do not apply to Christians.

Matthew 5:17 says otherwise

OP posts:
Donttellempike · 19/01/2026 15:47

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 14:04

I can understand why some believe in a higher power, in many ways it’s logical and many might just feel there is one, some people might refute that, all fine and dandy.

But what on earth makes people follow a religion? There’s literally hundreds of them over the course of history, even a rudimentary bit of research/critical thinking highlights the fact they can only be man made, the rules designed to fulfil a particular mundane purpose.

What makes people pick one (beyond being born in a certain place to a certain family) over all others and go “ yep this is the one truth, these rules come from a specific god/gods/goddesses, these rules other religions are just made up”.

I mean for many it’s not just a hobby, they’re willing to shape their lives to whatever set of rules they pick, sometimes to kill and be killed. Why??? Even a second of thought must highlight their folly?

it’s not about whether a higher power exists, it’s about why people have to frame that belief on a set of clearly made up rules, which range from the bizarre (don’t eat meat on a Friday) to the downright dangerous )it’s justified to kill anyone who doesn’t believe the same set of made up rules as you do)

AIBU to wonder why people follow religions?

Because humans are driven to seek meaning. Even if they have to invent stories to do so.

Religion is also a very powerful control weapon

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:47

5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:45

The clues in the name. The only teachings you need to follow to be a Christian are those of Christ. Everything that came before, anything written by men who never met him such as St Paul can indeed be taken or left.

That isn't strictly true, as Christ's words themselves are wider than what he taught (if that makes sense!) I don't know any Christians that only follow the New Testament.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:47

5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:45

The clues in the name. The only teachings you need to follow to be a Christian are those of Christ. Everything that came before, anything written by men who never met him such as St Paul can indeed be taken or left.

Now this I agree with. Christianity has a much wider definition than nearly all the Christian religions allow for.

OP posts:
SorcererGaheris · 19/01/2026 15:47

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:40

Why? Life is a lot simpler without having spurious beliefs. I can't understand why anyone would want a life after death. This life is taxing enough without any more of it.

@Gahr

I'm a polytheist pagan and occultist, so I don't believe in Heaven and Hell, but I do believe there is so-called 'spirit world' (possibly many) where we continue to live after we depart from this one.

I do think that it will largely be a kinder world than the one we're currently in, which is probably why many like the concept. I also like the idea of reconnecting with those I have lost before. I already seek to connect with my lost loved ones through developing my own psychic abilities and by (occasionally) seeing mediums, but actually being in their presence again would be different.

When it comes to psychic research, there has been well over a century of it done by some reputable investigators and there are some studies (such as experiments with mediums) that suggest some sort of life after death is a possibility. I'm thinking of work done by the Windbridge Institute researcher, for example. There's also IONS (Institute of Noetic Sciences) and The Society for Psychical Research, which I think was founded in the 19th century...

Octavia64 · 19/01/2026 15:46

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:41

They shouldn't follow the teachings of Christ only. That is cherry picking.

um, why not?

unlike Islam which holds that the Koran is divine revelation, it’s quite clear in Christianity that the bible is not divine revelation, the Old Testament is a mix of history/poetry/etc and the New Testament is four accounts of the life of Jesus plus some letters.

in addition it is made very clear that Jesus is introducing a new covenant so that the rules etc of the Old Testament do not apply to Christians.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:45

HorrorPudding · 19/01/2026 15:43

How much “rudimentary research and critical thinking” did you apply to answering your own question @Staringintothevoid616? Not a lot by the looks of it. @Gallowayan has it right, six out of ten, poor effort.

Oh, I’ve done quite a bit of research thanks, I’m interested in other’s perspectives. Now are you going to join in or just throw around angry comments?

OP posts:
5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:45

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:41

They shouldn't follow the teachings of Christ only. That is cherry picking.

The clues in the name. The only teachings you need to follow to be a Christian are those of Christ. Everything that came before, anything written by men who never met him such as St Paul can indeed be taken or left.

InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 15:45

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:28

But what is a “fact” if lots of people believe something there’s more likely to be something in it

We'll have to disagree then. Strength of numbers doesn't make it fact. And that's a fact 👍

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:45

The only religion I can see as having any appeal is Buddhism. I am not buddhist but I did briefly flirt with it in my twenties. I also prefer Judaism to the other Abrahamic religions because it doesn't emphasise the afterlife as much as the other two do. All this talk of the afterlife is terribly depressing and is a way of deferring the here and now. Also, if you are only being a good person for some possible reward of what value is your goodness really. It's just a way to control the gullible. It's about the only thing I agree with Marx about.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:44

Ella31 · 19/01/2026 15:41

Another perspective here on a very interesting topic. I was brought up Catholic, the usual born into it scenario. I'm mid 30's for context. By 14, I just stopped going to mass, no interest ect. I don't believe in it. Two years ago my dh and I had a terrible tragedy. Our beautiful twins died the week they were born. Totally unexpected. Our second twin literally took their last breaths in our arms after three days in the NICU. It was devastating.

Although it hasn't brought me back to religion or anything, I want to desperately believe that I will see my gorgeous twins again and hold them again. That part of the unknown is hard. It's likely and logically irrational but it keeps the despair at bay sometimes. I can see how others would return.

I’m really sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine the pain. I hope you do find peace and one day get to hold your beautiful babies again.

OP posts:
HorrorPudding · 19/01/2026 15:43

How much “rudimentary research and critical thinking” did you apply to answering your own question @Staringintothevoid616? Not a lot by the looks of it. @Gallowayan has it right, six out of ten, poor effort.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:41

EuclidianGeometryFan · 19/01/2026 15:35

@Staringintothevoid616 You completely misunderstand the purpose of religion.
90% of it is not about the theology or the beliefs. Of that, another 9.9% is about finding a comforting tale about what happens after death, so only about 0.1% is about actually believing what the religion says about god(s) and how to live your life.
The 90% is about culture and community. It is about belonging to a membership club and meeting up regularly with like-minded people.
You could totally believe all the theology of a religion in private, but if you don't go to meet-ups (services) what are you getting from it?
Equally, you can get a huge amount of of the meet-ups but have serious doubts about a lot of the theology - which I would guess is the position for vast numbers of religious people.

No, I understand that, but why religion? Why not a knitting circle? If it’s not about theology, why do certain people of one religion seem to think they have a need to kill people not of that religion (throughout history and often this is between people with a slightly differs interpretation of the same religion) - you don’t get that in a knitting circle

OP posts:
Ella31 · 19/01/2026 15:41

Another perspective here on a very interesting topic. I was brought up Catholic, the usual born into it scenario. I'm mid 30's for context. By 14, I just stopped going to mass, no interest ect. I don't believe in it. Two years ago my dh and I had a terrible tragedy. Our beautiful twins died the week they were born. Totally unexpected. Our second twin literally took their last breaths in our arms after three days in the NICU. It was devastating.

Although it hasn't brought me back to religion or anything, I want to desperately believe that I will see my gorgeous twins again and hold them again. That part of the unknown is hard. It's likely and logically irrational but it keeps the despair at bay sometimes. I can see how others would return.

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:41

5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:40

Many Christians follow the teachings of Christ only. There's isn't anything he said that would be off putting to a feminist or a gay person.

They shouldn't follow the teachings of Christ only. That is cherry picking.

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:40

5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:37

I wish I did.

Why? Life is a lot simpler without having spurious beliefs. I can't understand why anyone would want a life after death. This life is taxing enough without any more of it.

5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:40

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:38

I especially don't understand how feminists and gays can be Christian. I don't like any religion, but at least with Catholicism, Orthodox Judaism and Islam, we don't have any of all the happy clappy let's all be friends together everyone's equal claptrap. No, according to the book that you follow no we're not, so what are you doing here exactly!? It's why I don't like women vicars.

Many Christians follow the teachings of Christ only. There's isn't anything he said that would be off putting to a feminist or a gay person.

Squirrel60 · 19/01/2026 15:40

Religion is a load of crap, designed by men to control women, designed by men and women to force control and fear into and onto everyone else.

It's 2-faced - ''Do not commit adultery - while vicars, nuns, etc. are doing exactly the same thing because 'my god told me to do it''. I signed an online petition about a twisted, evil priest in the USA who tortured and murdered cats, and his excuse? But, Jesus told me to do it''

I hate religion and the religious nuts. NOT those who quietly and respectfully go about their religion, but the bible bashers, the 2-facers. The ''do not sin'' idiots who are sinners themselves.

I talk to the universe, which I do believe in, not pray to gods that I don't believe in!

Octavia64 · 19/01/2026 15:39

My son is a Buddhist.

I believe there is some dispute about whether it is a religion.

there are rules. It is also made clear that there are some circumstances where you should break the rules, and that the point of following Buddhism is to try to reach enlightenment and/or to help others do so.

the more understanding you have the less you need the rules.

my understanding is that the teachings of the Buddha are set in the Hindu context and so assume multiple gods however that isn’t the point of Buddhism.

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:38

I especially don't understand how feminists and gays can be Christian. I don't like any religion, but at least with Catholicism, Orthodox Judaism and Islam, we don't have any of all the happy clappy let's all be friends together everyone's equal claptrap. No, according to the book that you follow no we're not, so what are you doing here exactly!? It's why I don't like women vicars.

5128gap · 19/01/2026 15:37

Screamingabdabz · 19/01/2026 15:29

That’s not what it is for me. I dont have that belief… 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wish I did.

GasPanic · 19/01/2026 15:37

Some people like the structure that it brings to their lives.

The guidance it offers and the routine it brings. It brings comfort to them in difficult times and guidance to them when they have problems. A sense of society, community and social support as well, as well as a marking of progress through their lives.

It can provide answers to difficult questions if they want it to. And also explain everything difficult that happens that people find hard to rationalise, justify or understand.

To some it brings comfort that there is something beyond life.

Modern religion is something I think that is very personal and brings different things to different people and there are many different sub branches of each religion that interpret it in different ways.

A lot of religious critics ask the question how can you believe this or that aspect of a religion and the answer is simple, a lot of religious people don't. You can believe that the teachings of religion as a method or framework of morals to live your life, without for example thinking superbeings created the earth in some weird way.

Religions are a lot more open to interpretation and question than they were in the past and peoples reasons for following them are generally more than just tradition, but this does vary from religion to religion and country to country.

SorcererGaheris · 19/01/2026 15:36

ColdAsAWitches · 19/01/2026 15:31

@SorcererGaheris How can you believe in all gods? Because all the stories about them can't be simultaneously true. The earth can't have been created by God, and Zeus and Marduk and Odin and Atum and all of the others in various creation myths. To me that's even more bizarre than believing that one story is true and the others false.

@ColdAsAWitches

Believing in all the gods does not equate to believing that all the stories about them are true.

I pointed out in another post that polytheist pagans do not believe that the texts about the gods are all complete true and without error. Greek polytheist pagans believe Zeus exists, but they do not believe he created the world. Norse pagans do not believe that Odin literally created the world.

Pagan polytheists like myself believe all gods and goddesses exists because of the experiences that have been reported with them (by ourselves and by others.)