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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how anyone can believe in a religion?

219 replies

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 14:04

I can understand why some believe in a higher power, in many ways it’s logical and many might just feel there is one, some people might refute that, all fine and dandy.

But what on earth makes people follow a religion? There’s literally hundreds of them over the course of history, even a rudimentary bit of research/critical thinking highlights the fact they can only be man made, the rules designed to fulfil a particular mundane purpose.

What makes people pick one (beyond being born in a certain place to a certain family) over all others and go “ yep this is the one truth, these rules come from a specific god/gods/goddesses, these rules other religions are just made up”.

I mean for many it’s not just a hobby, they’re willing to shape their lives to whatever set of rules they pick, sometimes to kill and be killed. Why??? Even a second of thought must highlight their folly?

it’s not about whether a higher power exists, it’s about why people have to frame that belief on a set of clearly made up rules, which range from the bizarre (don’t eat meat on a Friday) to the downright dangerous )it’s justified to kill anyone who doesn’t believe the same set of made up rules as you do)

AIBU to wonder why people follow religions?

OP posts:
Cocomelon67 · 19/01/2026 17:47

Many people of faith find rich meaning in ritual, community and traditions which connect them to “divine being”. They don’t always think that all other faiths have no validity. Many people of faith work together for good such as in running food banks or doing interfaith projects.

Thedogswhiskers · 19/01/2026 17:46

Gahr · 19/01/2026 15:41

They shouldn't follow the teachings of Christ only. That is cherry picking.

This is literally what Christian means

InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 17:45

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:40

That's quite a reductive account of what religion is for.

But even from that perspective, is your assumption that there is nothing other than the physical world that science looks at? How would you come to that conclusion without going outside of science?

Perhaps you don't need to go outside science to explain how we got here. I don't see the need.
I guess you could try to explain consciousness, but that's a whole different thing (and itself an accidental by-product of our existence).

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:40

InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 16:58

I didn't bring up metaphysics or epistemology. I'm simply saying that both religion and science are attempts to explain how we got here - I believe that a scientific approach does it better. That's it, nothing more to my argument than that.

That's quite a reductive account of what religion is for.

But even from that perspective, is your assumption that there is nothing other than the physical world that science looks at? How would you come to that conclusion without going outside of science?

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:31

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 16:38

As an occultist, I certainly appreciate the value of customs and rituals. But they are very different to believing in a religion. I think what you describe are cultural Jews/christians (one of my friends is a cultural Muslim). I can understand this, I guess I was asking about religious (as in believers of the faith - and not some random pick and choose variety) believers.

Religion typically has three major elements - this is more or less the kind of framework you would see discussed in a comparative religion context.

One is a set of ideas about the underlying fabric of reality, and reality itself. That may include ideas about god or gods, or the spirit world, or the afterlife. Often also creation stories and myths.

One is a set of ideas about meaning and ethics. What is good and evil, what does it mean to live a good life, why are we here.

The third is a set of practices that tie these elements together and help people live together and live according to their ethical frameworks - these are often very practical. Community connections and connection to the past and future are also important here.

One of these elements isn't necessarily more important than another, and they aren't always separable. So for example, many Orthodox Christians would say you can't understand Christianity simply as an intellectual exercise, nor even from a historical perspective; you have to experience the practice within the community to begin to see what it is all about.

You also see religion very often discussed with two (or sometimes three) types of primary expression. Poetic religion (like the Greek myths.) Philosophical expression (what you see with theology.) Or also historical expression, like parts of the New Testament. Most religions combine these but also they often emphasise one or another. But you can't look at theology and myth the same way, or historical narrative like either of them.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:28

boxuponbox · 19/01/2026 17:20

A belief in an idea that is bigger than you, that makes you feel connected, whether to other people or a higher power, is a very human need. Lots of research shows people in a religion are happier than those who are not.

Getting rid of religion does not stop people having this need. Look at modern gender/ trans ideology. This is patent nonsense. Not of it makes sense, it’s utterly incoherent, can’t define or defend its key concepts. it lacks an evidence base, in fact the evidence contests it, and it’s clearly harmful. Yet it has fervant devotes and has swept the western world.

I totally agree with this, there is always something, There is definitely a need in people for this something bigger. I guess my question is, what makes them pick what ever it is, even if objectively it’s clearly not beneficial. Eg, I suing your example what causes some women to champion men coming into their spaces? What makes some choose a religion they will be killed or be called to kill for?

OP posts:
boxuponbox · 19/01/2026 17:20

A belief in an idea that is bigger than you, that makes you feel connected, whether to other people or a higher power, is a very human need. Lots of research shows people in a religion are happier than those who are not.

Getting rid of religion does not stop people having this need. Look at modern gender/ trans ideology. This is patent nonsense. Not of it makes sense, it’s utterly incoherent, can’t define or defend its key concepts. it lacks an evidence base, in fact the evidence contests it, and it’s clearly harmful. Yet it has fervant devotes and has swept the western world.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:17

BirdytheHero · 19/01/2026 17:10

Peter's vision in Acts 10 and in particular Acts 10:28- pretty clear on this.

Can you expand on this and also how you link the writing in Acts to the teachings of Jesus. These are (apparently) the writings of Luke disciple of Paul. Paul had his own expansionist agenda. You need to find something in Jesus’s teachings.

OP posts:
Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:11

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/01/2026 17:08

You're not alone in wondering, OP; as you say, it's not so much about having faith as this apparent need to attach it to man-made entities which are always likely to have agendas of their own - and not always admirable ones

I wonder if some appreciate having their beliefs codified, if that makes sense?
As in being given a framework of "how to do it" instead of working it out for themselves?

Yes, I do often think this too, it takes the responsibility away somehow.

OP posts:
BirdytheHero · 19/01/2026 17:10

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:02

Can you expand on that - to me, the meaning of that verse is very clear the Laws of the prophets are the Laws set out in the Torah, ie the Jewish scriptural rules. If anything it’s a challenge to the rules made by Rabbis for Jews rather than those from God through the Prophets.Jesus is very clear all the rules set out by God previously through the Prophets of the Torah still stand. What is the basis of you alternative understanding

Peter's vision in Acts 10 and in particular Acts 10:28- pretty clear on this.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:10

HushTheNoise · 19/01/2026 17:05

Interesting that some of you say that people believe for the benefits in this life. What about persecuted Christians ( there are many countries where you can be imprisoned or killed, just because you are a Christian.) Look up the Open doors watch list for the current most dangerous countries, it may surprise you. Also those who become Christians, leaving Islam, they can be terribly persecuted. They are not doing it for a benefit but because they think it is true. Often persecuted Christians aren't able to enjoy worship and community together, things that are often stated as reasons people go to church.

Yes, I think this is a very important angle to the question. Why, in the face of hell on earth do some people choose to walk into the firery hell on earth )sometimes literally) in the hope of eternal salvation- what makes them believe in the rule that choosing a particular belief system and set of rules alone will give them access to a wonderful eternity. Why those sets of beliefs?

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/01/2026 17:08

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 14:57

I guess the idea of faith in something bigger is understandable to me, what I don’t get is why this necessitates a religion. I understand the purpose of a religion on a general basis and all the various purposes of why individual religions were made up. What I don’t get is why individuals sensing “something bigger” need to attach this to a clearly man made set of rules.

You're not alone in wondering, OP; as you say, it's not so much about having faith as this apparent need to attach it to man-made entities which are always likely to have agendas of their own - and not always admirable ones

I wonder if some appreciate having their beliefs codified, if that makes sense?
As in being given a framework of "how to do it" instead of working it out for themselves?

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:06

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:00

The best way to answer questions like this is to get a very good basic history of the theology of the Christian church, say up to the Renaissance, and read it.

Because there are answers to why Christianity observes some parts of the Torah, and not others, and all the other thousands of questions you could ask, but you aren't going to get much of a coherent sense of it by asking pretty random questions on a discussion forum with almost zero background.

Thanks, I’ve got a pretty decent understanding of the development of Christianity in its various forms, most of them bear little relevance to the teachings of Jesus we have been left with in the context of His Jewish identity. There’s arguments the original writings didn’t actually talk about his resurrection. What was random about my question?

OP posts:
HushTheNoise · 19/01/2026 17:05

Interesting that some of you say that people believe for the benefits in this life. What about persecuted Christians ( there are many countries where you can be imprisoned or killed, just because you are a Christian.) Look up the Open doors watch list for the current most dangerous countries, it may surprise you. Also those who become Christians, leaving Islam, they can be terribly persecuted. They are not doing it for a benefit but because they think it is true. Often persecuted Christians aren't able to enjoy worship and community together, things that are often stated as reasons people go to church.

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:05

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:41

No, I understand that, but why religion? Why not a knitting circle? If it’s not about theology, why do certain people of one religion seem to think they have a need to kill people not of that religion (throughout history and often this is between people with a slightly differs interpretation of the same religion) - you don’t get that in a knitting circle

The knitting community has actually had massive drama in the last few years.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:02

Abracadabra12345 · 19/01/2026 16:46

I agree

Can you expand on that - to me, the meaning of that verse is very clear the Laws of the prophets are the Laws set out in the Torah, ie the Jewish scriptural rules. If anything it’s a challenge to the rules made by Rabbis for Jews rather than those from God through the Prophets.Jesus is very clear all the rules set out by God previously through the Prophets of the Torah still stand. What is the basis of you alternative understanding

OP posts:
TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:00

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:32

But Matthew 5:17 states that you should continue to follow all the laws of the Torah. Do you do that as a follower of Jesus Christ? It’s what he said

When you say you ignore the subsequent 2000 years of theology, I assume you ignore the teachings of Paul and are a messianic Jew?

Edited

The best way to answer questions like this is to get a very good basic history of the theology of the Christian church, say up to the Renaissance, and read it.

Because there are answers to why Christianity observes some parts of the Torah, and not others, and all the other thousands of questions you could ask, but you aren't going to get much of a coherent sense of it by asking pretty random questions on a discussion forum with almost zero background.

InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 16:58

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 16:55

Most discussions about the existence of god, or the underlying realities of being, fall within the area of metaphysics. Sometimes they fall within the field of epistemology.

So how would a scientific approach be useful?

I didn't bring up metaphysics or epistemology. I'm simply saying that both religion and science are attempts to explain how we got here - I believe that a scientific approach does it better. That's it, nothing more to my argument than that.

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 16:55

InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 15:26

I didn't say that science explains logic, just that a scientific approach is itself logical.

Most discussions about the existence of god, or the underlying realities of being, fall within the area of metaphysics. Sometimes they fall within the field of epistemology.

So how would a scientific approach be useful?

SparkFinder · 19/01/2026 16:50

I was raised by atheist parents and wondered the same thing, how could people believe everything in their religion. I always thought that I could never join a religion even if I wanted to as how could I sign up for all those beliefs. Then I read a book called The Believers by Zoe Heller and it was really enlightening. There's a character of a young Jewish woman who returns to her faith and its practices and her ultimate conclusion is that faith and religion is not something you believe but something you do. As an non-believer it looks like you have to believe all the stuff but I think from inside the religion it's more about practicing the religion, doing it, the rituals, etc. than a pure belief in every single thing. It's what you do with your family and friends, it's how you celebrate and get comfort and it may provide a framework for spirituality or higher being beliefs that means you don't have to try figuring it all out yourself.
I also saw an interesting tiktok about why so many people who are autistic are atheist and how certain thinking styles lean to religious belief whereas others lean to atheism.

Abracadabra12345 · 19/01/2026 16:46

Octavia64 · 19/01/2026 15:56

Ok, I wasn’t familiar with this verse off the top of my head so I looked it up,

It says

17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.

this is apparently part of the Sermon on the Mount and it is Jesus talking.

it seems to me to mean that Jesus has come to fulfill the prophecies of a messiah.

obviously you see a different meaning - could you explain?

I agree

BirdytheHero · 19/01/2026 16:41

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 16:38

As an occultist, I certainly appreciate the value of customs and rituals. But they are very different to believing in a religion. I think what you describe are cultural Jews/christians (one of my friends is a cultural Muslim). I can understand this, I guess I was asking about religious (as in believers of the faith - and not some random pick and choose variety) believers.

I think the way you're defining belief is close to fundamentalism.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 19/01/2026 16:41

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 16:32

But does it physically exist? If a character in a computer game walks into a wall it can’t (usually) go through it.

is the table real or just the force holding the atoms together, can we say that we know energy exists but little else? What is that energy? We can destroy the table but not the energy so, I would say the only thing that really exists is the energy.

Sophistry.

Or, philosophy, but you have to define what you mean by the terms you use.

Either way, you are still going to say 'ouch'.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 16:38

BirdytheHero · 19/01/2026 16:30

I feel most of your comments here apply more to religious fundamentalists than the majority of believers, OP. There are many, many religious people who don't think "this is the one truth, these rules come from a specific god/gods/goddesses, these rules other religions are just made up" as you put it, and are happy with a pluralist view that we're all (imperfectly, partially) seeking after truth.

Beyond that, I think there is a lot more to religious practice than you suggest. Custom and ceremony can have a value in themselves- I have Jewish atheist friends who still follow all the rules, because these rules relate to family, community, history and meaning- not just to whether or not one believes in God. And even the question of belief (outside of fundamentalism) is a lot more nuanced than your posts suggest- plenty of Christians allow for a decent helping of metaphor in their belief system and understand that you can't really read the Bible like a Haynes manual- would recommend Karen Armstrong's work to anyone interested in this.

As an occultist, I certainly appreciate the value of customs and rituals. But they are very different to believing in a religion. I think what you describe are cultural Jews/christians (one of my friends is a cultural Muslim). I can understand this, I guess I was asking about religious (as in believers of the faith - and not some random pick and choose variety) believers.

OP posts:
EatMoreChocolate44 · 19/01/2026 16:38

For many people it's indoctrination, the community aspect and it is a comfort to them. I was brought up a Catholic and so many of my older family members have strong faith however the younger generation are exposed to so much more information now with the internet and social media that they pick and choose the areas they believe in. The older generation were brought up a lot more disciplined and compliant. I think an increasing number of people in the modern world aren't as 'religious' for want of a better word as years ago. There is a lot of hypocrisy in religion and this idea of a set of man made rules that people must adhere too are to me ridiculous. However I can see the appeal of the idea of heaven and community and there is comfort in routines, services and celebrations. It's a way for people to come to terms with their own mortality and try to make sense of why the world exists in the first place. Makes people feel less alone.