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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how anyone can believe in a religion?

219 replies

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 14:04

I can understand why some believe in a higher power, in many ways it’s logical and many might just feel there is one, some people might refute that, all fine and dandy.

But what on earth makes people follow a religion? There’s literally hundreds of them over the course of history, even a rudimentary bit of research/critical thinking highlights the fact they can only be man made, the rules designed to fulfil a particular mundane purpose.

What makes people pick one (beyond being born in a certain place to a certain family) over all others and go “ yep this is the one truth, these rules come from a specific god/gods/goddesses, these rules other religions are just made up”.

I mean for many it’s not just a hobby, they’re willing to shape their lives to whatever set of rules they pick, sometimes to kill and be killed. Why??? Even a second of thought must highlight their folly?

it’s not about whether a higher power exists, it’s about why people have to frame that belief on a set of clearly made up rules, which range from the bizarre (don’t eat meat on a Friday) to the downright dangerous )it’s justified to kill anyone who doesn’t believe the same set of made up rules as you do)

AIBU to wonder why people follow religions?

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Staringintothevoid616 · 20/01/2026 08:27

labamba18 · 20/01/2026 07:22

I’m not religious but I have moved to a small village with a wonderful community church. So many people are involved in the church here. They don’t seem indoctrinated more it gives them a sense of belonging and community. They also do a lot of good too. I think most people around here believe in a higher power, don’t believe every word the bible says and just want to feel part of something bigger than themselves.

Religious fundamentalists are what you are talking about and they are more rare (albeit, noisy)

I’m really talking about people who believe in their religion rather than just culturally identify as something/use it as a convenient meeting point. I wouldn’t class that as fundamentalist

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labamba18 · 20/01/2026 07:22

I’m not religious but I have moved to a small village with a wonderful community church. So many people are involved in the church here. They don’t seem indoctrinated more it gives them a sense of belonging and community. They also do a lot of good too. I think most people around here believe in a higher power, don’t believe every word the bible says and just want to feel part of something bigger than themselves.

Religious fundamentalists are what you are talking about and they are more rare (albeit, noisy)

Ella31 · 19/01/2026 23:50

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 15:44

I’m really sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine the pain. I hope you do find peace and one day get to hold your beautiful babies again.

Thank you, really interesting post by the way. 😃

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 19:52

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:56

Why don't you say where you are going with this line of questioning?

How the New Testament writings came to exist, and more importantly, how they came to be accepted as such, is a part of that history I suggested you need to read if you want to understand these kinds of theological questions. You can't understand how these were interpreted without understanding why they were chosen (or sometimes, not chosen), by whom, and what is the nature of the authority that they saw the texts having, and the people doing the choosing as having.

The system of councils to decide questions like this were the basis of decision making in the early church, and is much more important than the individual question of who wrote Acts or any other part of the Bible, because they are essentially communal documents.

But Acts is simply a presentation of one Msns interpretation of an event. We understand that man is likely a follower of Paul whose stated purpose was to expand the teachings of Jesus to non Jews on an equal footing to Jews. This is no part of Jesus’s teachings at all

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Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 19:48

BirdytheHero · 19/01/2026 19:07

Do I? This is a false distinction as far as I'm concerned. You've quoted Matthew above but Matthew wasn't written until after 50 years after Jesus' death most likely- a similar sort of period to Acts. Matthew isn't a verbatim record of what Jesus said or any sort of eye witness account- it's a book with an agenda (as all the books of the NT are) written by someone who had likely never met Jesus or Matthew. So I'm not sure why you would place any more weight on a purported quote in Matthew than on anything else, or why you're happy to rely on some books of the Bible and not others.

(FAOD I'm not arguing that any of it is true in a historical sense. But it's illogical to suggest that some bits are reliable because they begin with the words "Jesus said..." and others are not because they don't, or that some books have an agenda and others don't. They all do.)

I think there’s quite some confusion here. Matthew was likely based on Mark and numerous oral histories of Jesus’s life. Paul’s work and that of his followers was about his personal revelations and interpretations

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BirdytheHero · 19/01/2026 19:07

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:17

Can you expand on this and also how you link the writing in Acts to the teachings of Jesus. These are (apparently) the writings of Luke disciple of Paul. Paul had his own expansionist agenda. You need to find something in Jesus’s teachings.

Do I? This is a false distinction as far as I'm concerned. You've quoted Matthew above but Matthew wasn't written until after 50 years after Jesus' death most likely- a similar sort of period to Acts. Matthew isn't a verbatim record of what Jesus said or any sort of eye witness account- it's a book with an agenda (as all the books of the NT are) written by someone who had likely never met Jesus or Matthew. So I'm not sure why you would place any more weight on a purported quote in Matthew than on anything else, or why you're happy to rely on some books of the Bible and not others.

(FAOD I'm not arguing that any of it is true in a historical sense. But it's illogical to suggest that some bits are reliable because they begin with the words "Jesus said..." and others are not because they don't, or that some books have an agenda and others don't. They all do.)

Echobelly · 19/01/2026 19:07

I'd say there's a difference between believing in a religion and following it. As people have said, religions are diverse. I think people tend to, understandably, view all religion through a Christian lens and that's a religion that is perhaps very strongly associated with 'faith'.

You can follow a religion without believing in it, or at least some religions. I'm Jewish I attend synagogue fairly regularly, contribute to leading parts of the service and keep a kosher(ish) house but I don't believe in God, or that God gave Moses the 10 Commandments on Mount Sinai etc. And that's not all that unusual in our synagogue, I'd say.

I follow Judaism because it's the cultural and spiritual tradition into which I was born, I enjoy the sense of community and continuing an ancient tradition and I find a services a meditative and spiritual experience.

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:57

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 18:53

But this isn’t a deep esoteric idea, it’s a fundamental foundation on thick Christianity is based.

What isn't a deep esoteric idea?

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:56

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 18:44

And who is usually credited with writing Acts, and who was he? What agenda did he have?

Why don't you say where you are going with this line of questioning?

How the New Testament writings came to exist, and more importantly, how they came to be accepted as such, is a part of that history I suggested you need to read if you want to understand these kinds of theological questions. You can't understand how these were interpreted without understanding why they were chosen (or sometimes, not chosen), by whom, and what is the nature of the authority that they saw the texts having, and the people doing the choosing as having.

The system of councils to decide questions like this were the basis of decision making in the early church, and is much more important than the individual question of who wrote Acts or any other part of the Bible, because they are essentially communal documents.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 18:53

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:48

It's worth remembering that almost everyone has areas even within their own belief system that they don't really understand.

I'm a modern person with a strong interest in the natural sciences, but stopped studying mathematics when I went to university and I certainly don't understand the kinds of mathematics required to understand modern physics. I can't even follow it if it's written out, it's mostly gibberish to me.

I am quite content to leave that to other people, and while I don't believe every hair-brained idea that a theoretical physicists comes up with playing with numbers, I also don't have much basis to argue with them about it. I'd just look silly.

Every area of knowledge is like that and at the very top there are usually only a small number of people who understand the concepts.

So everyone in practice has areas where they just accept that they are not going to understand at a deep level.

But this isn’t a deep esoteric idea, it’s a fundamental foundation on thick Christianity is based.

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Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 18:50

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:53

Why Christians don't follow the Torah in the same way Jews does is random in terms of this thread.

And I'm sorry, your statement says you don't know much about the development of Christianity. The Bible, in Judaism, and in Christianity, is always interpreted by the community. What that means and how it is done is fundamental to understanding both of those religions.

The question of how much of he Torah Christians should observe was first addressed in the First Council of Jerusalem, which is recorded in the book of Acts, but throughout the early church councils were how problems like this were addressed. (Including, what gets included in the scriptural canon, and what doesn't.) In this case the context of the question was whether gentile converts to Christianity needed to be circumcised. The discussion and resolution give the pattern and logic for the general principle that was used subsequently with regard to that kind of question.

Their answer was essentially that they did not need to be circumcised, that circumcision was for Jews only, and that salvation was through Christ not through adherence to the Jewish laws - but they did need to adhere to ethical rules laid out in the Torah.

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t take the writings in Acts and the other Pauline leaning texts as anything other than the position Paul wished to pursue. Pauline Christianity is entirely separate from the teachings of Jesus. Jesus and Paul’s spiritual (and mundane) background and purpose were very different. The two shouldn’t be confused

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TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:48

It's worth remembering that almost everyone has areas even within their own belief system that they don't really understand.

I'm a modern person with a strong interest in the natural sciences, but stopped studying mathematics when I went to university and I certainly don't understand the kinds of mathematics required to understand modern physics. I can't even follow it if it's written out, it's mostly gibberish to me.

I am quite content to leave that to other people, and while I don't believe every hair-brained idea that a theoretical physicists comes up with playing with numbers, I also don't have much basis to argue with them about it. I'd just look silly.

Every area of knowledge is like that and at the very top there are usually only a small number of people who understand the concepts.

So everyone in practice has areas where they just accept that they are not going to understand at a deep level.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 18:44

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:04

Acts was recorded by the early Christians themselves. As was all of the New Testament documents.

And who is usually credited with writing Acts, and who was he? What agenda did he have?

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SisterTeatime · 19/01/2026 18:26

SparkFinder · 19/01/2026 16:50

I was raised by atheist parents and wondered the same thing, how could people believe everything in their religion. I always thought that I could never join a religion even if I wanted to as how could I sign up for all those beliefs. Then I read a book called The Believers by Zoe Heller and it was really enlightening. There's a character of a young Jewish woman who returns to her faith and its practices and her ultimate conclusion is that faith and religion is not something you believe but something you do. As an non-believer it looks like you have to believe all the stuff but I think from inside the religion it's more about practicing the religion, doing it, the rituals, etc. than a pure belief in every single thing. It's what you do with your family and friends, it's how you celebrate and get comfort and it may provide a framework for spirituality or higher being beliefs that means you don't have to try figuring it all out yourself.
I also saw an interesting tiktok about why so many people who are autistic are atheist and how certain thinking styles lean to religious belief whereas others lean to atheism.

I read that book too, and it definitely spoke to me. I was in a very agnostic phase at the time and it helped me think differently about my religious leanings!

I see religion as a framework I hang my spiritual stuff on - knowing I was never going to believe every article of any religion, I decided that rather than seeking a religion that ‘worked for me’ I’d stick more or less with the one I was born in, namely the C of E 😁, although I am drawn to Catholicism (quite possibly because I wasn’t brought up in it). I don’t think Christianity is ‘better’ or more ‘true’ than other religions, it’s just the one I know best and am culturally aligned with and attuned to. I don’t go to church much, and don’t have a community around it, but I do feel vaguely connected to others who’ve prayed and worshipped using the same words and who’ve read or heard the same texts.

I don’t believe in life after death and I think of the Resurrection and Christ’s appearances afterwards as a mystery I don’t need to believe or understand.

I don’t care if atheists think I’m stupid!

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:04

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:56

And who wrote Acts?

Acts was recorded by the early Christians themselves. As was all of the New Testament documents.

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 18:02

InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 17:45

Perhaps you don't need to go outside science to explain how we got here. I don't see the need.
I guess you could try to explain consciousness, but that's a whole different thing (and itself an accidental by-product of our existence).

Well, look at it this way. How do you know that you can even know anything, for there to be science? How do you know that the world operates on a rational basis? What is the nature of being, or physical reality? What is the basis of morality? Could we just pop in and out of existence, or could we be living in a dream, or giant video game? What is science anyway? Are mathematics real?

None of these are questions that science can give an answer to, and for some of them, the existence of science itself really depends on the answer. If we don't have a stable basis for real knowledge, or observation, what's the point of science?

Religion has very little, almost nothing, to do with telling us how the physical world came to be the way it is, or how it works. It mainly talks about why anything exists at all, what it means that it exists, what it means that we as conscious beings exists, and what we should do about it.

BillieWiper · 19/01/2026 18:01

I think one of the main reasons is because people fear what happens to them when they die. They also feel the need to have an internal drive to behave in a certain way.

Not just for money, not just because everyone else is doing it. But a kind of raison d'etre.

Rather than just blindly going through life doing things, you can say, I'm doing this because my religion says do and it will make me a better person. Or make me go to a better place when my life ends.

I guess everyone has a desire to fit in, but also to feel safe and superior. And that the way you live your life is the right way. And religion offers that feeling.

I'm just guessing as I'm not religious and doubt I ever will be.

beebee25 · 19/01/2026 18:01

I have worked with lots of Christians. One of them was the nicest person I have ever met in my life. I just couldn't understand why she believed in god. I just can't respect people who believe in God.. it is like believing in the tooth fairy ... just bizarre!

mondaytosunday · 19/01/2026 17:57

Usually the religion they were brought up in. My mother was brought up Catholic, as was I. My sister is the only one that still practices though, but if pushed I’d say in Catholic too.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:56

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:53

Why Christians don't follow the Torah in the same way Jews does is random in terms of this thread.

And I'm sorry, your statement says you don't know much about the development of Christianity. The Bible, in Judaism, and in Christianity, is always interpreted by the community. What that means and how it is done is fundamental to understanding both of those religions.

The question of how much of he Torah Christians should observe was first addressed in the First Council of Jerusalem, which is recorded in the book of Acts, but throughout the early church councils were how problems like this were addressed. (Including, what gets included in the scriptural canon, and what doesn't.) In this case the context of the question was whether gentile converts to Christianity needed to be circumcised. The discussion and resolution give the pattern and logic for the general principle that was used subsequently with regard to that kind of question.

Their answer was essentially that they did not need to be circumcised, that circumcision was for Jews only, and that salvation was through Christ not through adherence to the Jewish laws - but they did need to adhere to ethical rules laid out in the Torah.

And who wrote Acts?

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InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 17:56

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:53

How so?

It just is! We're a result of the world's existence and our evolution has led to the development of consciousness 🤷

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:54

Cocomelon67 · 19/01/2026 17:47

Many people of faith find rich meaning in ritual, community and traditions which connect them to “divine being”. They don’t always think that all other faiths have no validity. Many people of faith work together for good such as in running food banks or doing interfaith projects.

But are they a believer then? Why did they choose one religion over another?

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TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:53

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:06

Thanks, I’ve got a pretty decent understanding of the development of Christianity in its various forms, most of them bear little relevance to the teachings of Jesus we have been left with in the context of His Jewish identity. There’s arguments the original writings didn’t actually talk about his resurrection. What was random about my question?

Why Christians don't follow the Torah in the same way Jews does is random in terms of this thread.

And I'm sorry, your statement says you don't know much about the development of Christianity. The Bible, in Judaism, and in Christianity, is always interpreted by the community. What that means and how it is done is fundamental to understanding both of those religions.

The question of how much of he Torah Christians should observe was first addressed in the First Council of Jerusalem, which is recorded in the book of Acts, but throughout the early church councils were how problems like this were addressed. (Including, what gets included in the scriptural canon, and what doesn't.) In this case the context of the question was whether gentile converts to Christianity needed to be circumcised. The discussion and resolution give the pattern and logic for the general principle that was used subsequently with regard to that kind of question.

Their answer was essentially that they did not need to be circumcised, that circumcision was for Jews only, and that salvation was through Christ not through adherence to the Jewish laws - but they did need to adhere to ethical rules laid out in the Torah.

Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:53

InterestedDad37 · 19/01/2026 17:45

Perhaps you don't need to go outside science to explain how we got here. I don't see the need.
I guess you could try to explain consciousness, but that's a whole different thing (and itself an accidental by-product of our existence).

How so?

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Staringintothevoid616 · 19/01/2026 17:52

TempestTost · 19/01/2026 17:31

Religion typically has three major elements - this is more or less the kind of framework you would see discussed in a comparative religion context.

One is a set of ideas about the underlying fabric of reality, and reality itself. That may include ideas about god or gods, or the spirit world, or the afterlife. Often also creation stories and myths.

One is a set of ideas about meaning and ethics. What is good and evil, what does it mean to live a good life, why are we here.

The third is a set of practices that tie these elements together and help people live together and live according to their ethical frameworks - these are often very practical. Community connections and connection to the past and future are also important here.

One of these elements isn't necessarily more important than another, and they aren't always separable. So for example, many Orthodox Christians would say you can't understand Christianity simply as an intellectual exercise, nor even from a historical perspective; you have to experience the practice within the community to begin to see what it is all about.

You also see religion very often discussed with two (or sometimes three) types of primary expression. Poetic religion (like the Greek myths.) Philosophical expression (what you see with theology.) Or also historical expression, like parts of the New Testament. Most religions combine these but also they often emphasise one or another. But you can't look at theology and myth the same way, or historical narrative like either of them.

Definition of a religion is very important, and I would argue for something to be a coherent religion it is important that the rituals, the conceptualisation about the underlying reality and ethics etc need to form part of a coherent whole, working together etc.

I think that’s why many new age religions struggle to perform the benefits of religion for individuals. What happens when you try and mix dualist rituals and practice with non dualist concepts of reality? I would argue that many new age religions”religions” are on the cusp of what qualifies as one.

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