To not bail DD out with car damage

She can use her insurance or cancel the holiday and use that money to pay for the damage.

Yep, it will hit her hard - that's the consequence of skidding on ice and having an accident, unfortunately. She can't afford to pay for the repairs directly so her only choice is to go via her insurance and pay the increased premiums.

I do agree with things like MOT/Repairs, no i wouldn't help out, she can walk or catch a bus.
But Car insurance claims on an 18yo, will hit her extremely hard for many years to come.

It increased premiums by about 50% for a friends son when he claimed as a teenager.

I wouldn't want to lump that on my child.

Earlier when i explained what can happen if you don’t report an accident within X amount of time you said ‘point taken’, then you demonstrated that you also don’t know how insurance works re excess payments. So, reading the policy is vital. Her insurance may be voided if she doesn’t do exactly what they state she must do and the other party ends up reporting it to claim, which they can still do.

Im not averse to helping adult children and I would give mine money if they needed it, but in order to teach responsibility you really do need to make sure she follows the terms and conditions of her insurance policy to the letter. She isn’t going to learn anything other than dishonesty by covering this up in order to protect her premiums.

Correcting myself. Of course, she won't pay the excess, her insurance company will

She needs to go through her insurance, OP

She earns GOOD money with excellent tips on top. She should easily be putting some away without denting her social engagement requirments!

And how much of this "good money" is she contributing to the household ...?

EVERY time you have an accident or incident in your car you need to report it to your insurance company - that is the law!!!

It’s not weird at all.

To drive, you are legally obliged to have insurance which pays for any damage you might cause in your vehicle. This stops people causing damage or injuries and then claiming they have no money to pay for it.

Don't lend it to her - you'll never get it back or have lots of arguments trying. She obviously hasn't grown up yet and still thinks parents can be relied on to get her out of all sorts of scrapes while she fritters her money away on enjoying herself. She's an adult and needs to learn what that involves, otherwise you'll be lending her money ad infinitum.

I would want her to do the right thing and report it to her insurance company. I might then be prepared to help her out with the inevitable higher premium.

Yabu.
If she won’t save then you need to do more than just tell her to save.
Spend some time showing her how to do a budget, sit with her to research savings accounts.

I think she should call her insurance company…don’t give her money to repair the car. This is a teaching moment that having savings gives you options. Because she has no savings, she has no option but to go to her insurance company. It’s a teachable moment.

otherwise she will think why save when I can be bailed out?

Time for tough love I agree.

For me it was only in the late 2000's - maybe my parents were old-school, haha.

Well, if she can do all of those things, she can sort her own car insurance claim, can't she?

Saying "no" will teach her that if she wants to be considered grown up enough to drive and run a car, she needs to also be responsible for the boring stuff - insurance, MOT, repairs and maintenance.

Agree. And my parents would never in a million years have bailed me out. It wouldn't have occurred to them. But that was the 70s and 80s. I know things are different now.

Wouldn’t be guiding her to use her car insurance also be a good life lesson?

She’s got a job, a car, goes to college and is going on holiday with her friends. What part do that suggests to you she has no independence? And you only saying no to your child in need is going to teach them?

Oh.

I did not know that - that’s weird

appolgises to who said it

You would make her pay you back double? Really?

I bet she does have it really. It will probably be a week or two before she needs to pay

She is careless all round. You could either lend her the money but she has to repay double that amount before her holiday, or not lend her the money and insist she goes through the insurance.

Totally with you. I couldn't afford to run a car at 18 so I...didn't have a car at 18. I'd never in a million years have expected my parents to pay to make my life more convenient.

I find it puzzling that many young people are considered adult enough to own and drive a car. But not adult enough to take responsibility for it, ie pay for things that go wrong like accidents. That doesn't add up to me.

Lend it to her, with a repayment plan. But only on the condition that after she repays it she gives you x amount of her wages each month to save for her.