To not bail DD out with car damage

You said if she goes through her insurance company it would mean her (future) premium would be massive. You said nothing about not claiming through the insurance (although why wouldn’t she ?).

Then, in this more recent post, you said about the insurers paying the other driver and the OP can still give her daughter money after telling the insurers.

The OP wouldn’t need to give her daughter money if the insurers took care of any claim.

I apologise if you thought I was being snappy but I’m not sure you have a full understanding of the issues.

😂 staying true to the name then.
have you also “managed to dodge” my whole comment.
I said about going through insurance meaning insurers paying the other driver. OP can still give her daughter money after telling the insurers. The post also wasn’t about if OP/daughter should tell the insurance company, it was about if she should give her daughter the money.
this is mumsnet, no need to be snappy 😂

Seriously, have you managed to dodge all the posts saying she will be breaking the terms of her insurance if she doesn't tell them she's had an accident and the potential consequences ?

i get why you feel the way you do OP but honestly, at 18, we were all like this surely? Just spending all our money (because we could) and having fun!
the fact that she’s going to college and working part time sounds like she’s doing well at 18.
if you’ve got the money, I woudl personally pay or pay half with ex. Then do a system that she pays you back 100 a month or something. I get wanting to teach her a lesson re money but surely if she goes through insurance, her premium will be massive!
if you don’t have the money though, of course don’t pay for it and she’ll have to go through insurance

Agree! If insurance companies werent such a money grabbing, payout dodging swines then people wouldnt try and avoid them!

I was utterly terrible with money at 18. At 35 i bought a house outright with no mortgage. How she is with money right now isnt how she will always be.

Theres no way she has a "decent wage" working behind a bar part time. Cut her some slack, shes pretty much still a child!

What has that got to do with it? It’s about teaching a young adult financial responsibility not don’t worry mummy gets £20 a week to help !

No one 'earns well' from a part time bar job.

At best it keeps her in clothes and a social life.

If I had it, I'd give it.

Even if she does not claim against her insurance, she is legally bound to inform them. If she fails to do so, and they find out, they can cancel her insurance.

She won’t be paying an excess.

I agree @BubbadueJuly2026. Help this time but insist that she starts saving.

My DD popped a tyre when she was first driving as she misjudged a tricky curb. We paid for it. When she did it again though (same road!), she had to pay.

No. She has a part time job. This will teach her a hard lesson.

I agree with you. Not sure why that poster was being so weird when you said that not all 18 year olds are financially irresponsible. I wasn't either and ever since my dd1 has been at uni she's learnt that if she spends all her money on socialising etc she can't afford food, petrol etc

No excess on 3 Rd party repairs. Only if she's claiming damage on her own vehicle

I had a little bump.
My fault
Not much damage less than 600 certainly and next to nothing on my car.
Other driver got quote
I paid it that day
End of story
I'm certainly not going to lose sleep over it
This kind of thing happens all the time

The excess is irrelevant. She is not claiming for her car.

She has a £400 excess so would only save £200, except her insurance would go up so likely not even a £200 saving.

This is the most ridiculous comment I have read, at her age her insurance premiums would double with a claim, sounds like the person she has hit has tried to help her by getting a private quote, would hope her parents would do the same...

Ummm… kind of the whole idea of raising children is that you gradually teach them skills so that they become competent adults. Otherwise we should, by that logic, abandon school education also and just expect them to absorb mathematical, scientific, historical knowlege and literacy by osmosis. It doesn’t work like that.

Financial skills like cooking skills and social skills etc are basic skills which it is part of parents’ job to teach during the child’s development. To expect a teenager to suddenly have such skills that nobody has taught them just because the Earth happened to orbit the Sun 18 times since you gave birth to them is obviously unrealistic (not read updates since last night yet - only as far as your response to me - so no idea whether the OP has now confirmed if she did or not. If she did teach her DD then they can have a rational and sensible conversation about this and DD is likely to take it onboard unless there is some other factor at play. If she didn’t then clearly that’s not likely to be successful and she is effectively blaming the DD for gaps in her own parenting).

Tbf at 18 with a Saturday job I probably did squander a lot of my earnings, but I didn't have a car that I expected my parents to finance, I used to fund my own public transport or very occasionally borrow my Dad's car. It's only at Uni when I had holiday jobs that I realised that I had to actually get a grip on spending and budgeting.

I didn't really get a huge (any) amount of financial guidance so I've made damn sure that I've brought up my DD to understand money and budgeting. I've paid for driving lessons but if she wanted a car she'd have to fund it herself.

No, I was just pointing out that not all 18 year olds spend all their money. No medal required thanks. 🤗

Good for you. Would you like a medal?

Yes. People can demonstrate their stupidity.

What the flippity flappity fuck.

Love it!

I mean it's up to the OP's daughter what she does but surely pointing out possible consequences of each option is kind of what this forum is for?

Fine, don't go through insurance but don't then moan if it comes back to bite you on the arse. Personally I wouldn't trust the other driver to play it straight but each to their own.

Probably represents themselves in Court too !