To not bail DD out with car damage

I too would tell her to use her insurance. If you don't report being in an accident when taking out a new policy or renewing an existing one, and the insurer later finds out you lied, they can cancel the policy. Then you have the fun of trying to get another insurer and they always ask "have you ever been refused insurance..."

Yes. I wouldn’t have expected her to pay for it all. Not many 18 year old could afford anything like that. But it’s a kind but normal thing to do as a parent. It’s not like she pissed £600 up the wall at the bookies and now can’t pay her rent, she had a car crash. I think she’s getting a tough time on here. You know her best though

What your ex does is up to him. I’d ask her to sit down with you and talk through her plan - where she does all the talking and you do the listening. At the mo it’s a bit drama and then big ask, that can be slowed down and she can talk you through what happened, what she things should happen, what’s viable, etc

At that age even as a saver I wouldn’t have had £600 or £400. And that would have been every penny I owned if I did. Perhaps offer to split the excess with your exH?

my parents would have paid and then taken the car off me.

Yes I’m probably too soft but at that age a £600 bill would have floored me. If she’s a full time student I’m not sure how much she can expect to save from a bar job (I presume on minimum wage), if she is also paying for day to day expenses. It’s a good learning exercise - if you loan it and get her to pay it back.

So this is her second attempt at a bailout.

Nope. She didn't learn the first time and she won't learn now if you bail her out again.

If she can't budget, she doesn't get to have things like a car and so on.

She really needs to report this to her insurance. She's going to have to come up with her deductible.

Does she borrow money often op? Honestly she’s 18 and at college. Were we all really that sensible that we were putting away savings and emergency funds when we were teenagers? I know I wasn’t. Of course she’s spending it on social things! She’s managed to get her license, a car, a job and she’s in further education! And she’s still a teenager. If it was any of mine I’d help them out in a heartbeat, they wouldn’t even need to ask

Another life lesson - always make sure your excess is affordable!!

Then should she be driving at all?

No, this is what insurance is for

Insurance.
You can loan her the excess.
Not reporting an incident to insuramce cam cause trouble

As others have said it's best to let the insurer deal with it. They'll have to be told about the accident anyway so you could pay for the repair and still be hit with a hike in premiums. Non disclosure may invalidate insurance and isn't worth the risk.

If you want to evaluate costs your daughter could ask the insurer what effect it will have on premiums with and without you funding the repair, and then take a view.

She sounds like she needs a kick up the backside with money, she needs to go through insurance, learn how to budget and even save a little each month even if it's £20.
Bailing our adult kids out for every little thing [not referring to you OP] does NOT do them any favours in the long term.

She needs to put this through her insurance. It shouldn't be up for debate.

I wouldn’t be lending her anything - she has insurance so she needs to use it.

Tell her to go through the insurance company. That what it is there for and what we pay our premiums for.
Yes, her insurance may go up but it's the correct way. Be careful doing it cash/mate is doing it etc. If more damage is found, they will come back to your child and want more money.
Honestly, just let the insurance company deal with it.

In that case I’d not loan her the money. She hasn’t learnt so no point repeating yourself.

The most responsible thing you can teach her is to follow the conditions of her insurance, which will be that she has to report any accident within X amount of time. One of the penalties for not doing so and then subsequently having someone make a claim against you can also be a rise in excess. She is on dodgy ground here. The right thing to do is to report it, yes her premium will rise but at the same time she did crash into another car, so that's the price we have to pay. Another thing to bear in mind is that people can make personal accident claims against you months after a crash as they need to gather medical evidence, she will be fucked if this happens as her insurer can cancel her policy due to not adhering to the terms, and then the claim would be against her.

Either a loan or nothing from me. And if she ‘defaults’ then something you pay for her gets cut until she’s paid up.

Also agree with a PP that clear advise on budgeting is needed now.
frame it as what is she going to do when her friends want to book a summer holiday and she has no money saved? You won’t be paying it.

so now is the time to learn about pots for bills, emergencies and fun money.

Some things you learn the hard way, she should go through her insurance. You aren't there to bail her out of damage she caused, especially if you're subsidising stuff like her food, rent, bills etc.

I’d give it to her with the condition she sit down with me for a budgeting session and we work out a proper way for her to manage money. All teenagers should be taught how to properly manage money. If she doesn’t agree to that condition, no money.