Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

@Howwilliknow122
MIL has been dying to look after DS so I don’t think it wasn’t a massive chore or inconvenience for her that we need to ‘compensate’ for.

You’re husband is an idiot and of course it’s excessive. Whilst I do think it’s nice to leave a meal out for them, especially if they’re coming earlier, surely a portion of whatever you’ve had the night before of even a posh ready meal would suffice? And the only time I spend that sort of money on a bottle of wine is a gift for a birthday or similar and a thank you call the day after would have been more than enough unless this is a rare one-time event.

If I were you, I’d look at gradually reducing by stealth until you get to more normal levels of dinner in the fridge and a heartfelt thank you.

Takeaway £30 wine and flowers Wow!!! Do you need a babysitter?? Now?? Shall I get my cost??? 😁😀 And I promise I won't open the wine until I get back home. 🤣🤣🤣
Seriously, that is way over the top. We always babysit in our own home, keep them overnight and take them out the following day to cinema, play park, lunch ext. Might get the odd bunch of flowers but surely that is the norm.
That is way over the top and I only hope you haven't set a precedent. Probably not as it doesn't look like the grandparents expected any of this.
You have a very generous husband 🥙🍟🍱🍾🍷💐

The takeaway is a nice gesture.

The wine unnecessary, at any price really, but especially £30.

The flowers ridiculous.

Wine while babysitting is ridiculous. Also I don’t think grandparents should be taking anything from struggling parents and help out where & when they can.

We always buy my parents or best friend/ sister (whoever is babysitting) a takeaway while they baby sit and I always send petrol money to my best friend as she lives a fair drive away (she always says she doesn’t want it but I always send it!). The rest is way OTT

Agree, maybe say fair enough for the first time (and it's done now, anyway), but just a thank you any other time-or enough to cover any bills (for example if they HAD to have a meal at yours because there was no time for them to cook at home/spend money on petrol etc.
The only reason I can see is if he somehow feels guilty/feels like they haven't been invited to see the child enough, or babysit? Otherwise, don't get it.

Where did op make it sound like pils asked for this. I didnt see this, please quote it here! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes, completely OTT.
You say 'money is tight' but you have £30 bottles of wine in the house???

Not when it presumably comes out of the family budget.

absolutely OTT - if MIL comes to look after our 2 one of us picks her up, we always offer to order her a takeaway as she never gets them at home (usually small fish and chips) and we pay her taxi home, which is around £10 (she doesn't drive) She will have them once every 2-3 months from 6pm until midnight.

Massively over the top.

I'm now grandparent age (how????) 'thanks Mum' would do me just fine! Plus grandchild cuddles of course 🤗

I’d make and leave dinner for them to heat up. I don’t think it’s fair to expect GPs to find food when babysitting.

Don’t need flowers and wine. That’s ridiculous. Tell DH you’ll be asking your parents next time as you can’t afford the in-law fees.

do they know things are tight for you or is DH masking it?

It's a lot but I assume you are wealthy to be flinging around £30 bottles of wine.

For the babysitter we pay £6/hour plus snacks plus Fizzy drink, if early we get pizza she likes.

For my parents they take the kids out to dinner, I buy them cheap wine plus beers and we usually pay for a meal for them the day after so it works out pricier than the babysitter but nice to treat my parents .

I find this odd. I will ALWAYS want to cover the bill when I’m out with my dc

Yep, OTT.
My mum loves a .cheap takeaway close to us so we often leave her £40 to cover that for her & the 2 DC - although other times we will just cook a spag bol or whatever for them to have.

I would never expect anything for looking after my grandchild.

I think that's lovely of your DH ... wouldn't enter my DH's head to do such a thing tbh.

My parents wouldn't take it... absolutely madness. A stranger maybe but why would your parents want you to waste money. Mine wouldn't hear of it. In fact they would probably pay for my meal out.

I think just the flowers would be nice

i hope they took the wine home. I would not drink if I were babysitting

I'm a step grandparent, sidekick to the real deal but he wouldn't be able to take on babysitting alone (one child with ALN and another very strong willed - grandad goes into a panic at the first sign of a meltdown) so I'm always there when it's needed. We take our own food + stuff we know the kids like because the fridge is usually bare, doing at least a full 24 hour shifft and will leave food there for them when they get back. Normally leave the house much tidier than we found it too 😂. Not had a sniff of wine or flowers in 10 years!

OTT on every level. Food, wine, and flowers! Most grandparents are just grateful to get some time with their grandchildren.

And the MIL opened the bottle of wine? Completely unacceptable and I don't care if the baby was asleep--the baby could have woken up!

Going forward, default to asking your parents, or find a babysitter. This is not sustainable long term and sets a terrible precedent.

I honestly find it shameful that your inlaws accepted all this. Your DH treated them as if they'd taken your little one for a full week! But then, it's also shameful that they let your DH treat them to dinners out, when you said that they are wealthier, and you are just getting started in life with a young family.

This.

They look after his sister's 4 days a week??? Is that right OP?
Is she the favourite child or something and he'strying to kevel up?

I wonder why he felt the need to creep round them like that?
Where does the op imply that her husband creeps around his parents.