Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

It would annoy me, but it’s your husband I’d be annoyed at as it’s him disregarding your financial situation to flash the cash unnecessarily. They didn’t ask

The take away was reasonable.
Leaving food is usual.

The flowers - sweet if picked from the garden, otherwise - OTT.

Leaving wine was completely bonkers.
Anyone looking after children should not be drinking alcohol.

I wouldn’t be wanting both GP’s drinking wine while looking after DC - I hope they took it home to drink later. My parents would have ordered their own takeaway and would not have expected payment.

I think you need to provide dinner (doesn’t need to be a takeaway though) and a bottle of wine is a nice touch. Flowers not necessary IMO.

I don’t expect anything to babysit my grandchildren but my daughter will do us spaghetti bolognaise or a pizza to eat so I don’t have to prepare a meal. They do live over an hour away wheras the mother in-law lives 5 minutes away. However they have told her they will only babysit occasionally. I had nobody to babysit my children as my mother died before they were born so I am happy to babysit whenever my daughter asks.

Definitely OTT…….when I babysat for my DGC I used to do my DD’s ironing ……wouldn’t dream of accepting any form of recompense. 😇

It is, but I’m guessing he doesn’t want his parents to know they are struggling. A word needs to be had.

It was a lovely gesture he made to his parents, if he was spending money he doesn’t have you need to have a discussion with him about budgeting, if he earns it he can spend it as he pleases assuming bills are paid. But if you also earn it and he was spending your money then again, speak to him.

this is nothing to do with your in-laws. This is your husbands choice. And I’m going to guess it’s the same when you go out for dinner, he wants to pay and you want to blame them as it’s easier than having that conversation with him and telling him you don’t wish him to.

I take something nice out the cellar for my parents to drink but that's it. Flowers and paying for takeaway seems a bit much. (Though my kids are a bit older and I sometimes leave out a meal like a spaghetti bolognaise that I've made for them all to eat.)

We always offer takeaway but my mum usually opts to have tea with the kids as she doesn't see them as much as she would like. Tbf we do spoil her for birthdays and Christmas because she helps us out a lot and we want her to know we appreciate it.

Its nice that he's thoughtful but flowers are probably a bit much?

The flowers & wine is excessive.

Even the £30 wine is excessive if things are tight - you can get a decent bottle for £10-£12 or something very nice for less than £20.

Yes, it’s too much. It would be OK if they’d done you a huge favour but that doesn’t sound like it’s the case. I’d be embarrassed if I was given all that for babysitting for my grandchildren.

Dial it back. Pretend you deliberately went overboard as it was the first time but you need to make it clear to DH you can’t afford to do that every time or it will deter you from asking them again.

It seems to me he’s gone overboard with the “payment” as a way to rub his sisters nose in it for some reason, and to gloat that he’s more “appreciative of them” If the PILs have her kids 4 days a week (and especially if they are doing it for free).
is there some long standing sibling rivalry/jealousy?

If I was babysitting for my (hypothetical) GC, I'd have said no to the takeaway, appreciated the wine (although I'd have no idea what it cost and been very shocked indeed to learn it was £30) and a bit sad at the flowers. That seems to suggest it was a one off huge favour, rather than something I might get to do quite frequently.

wine and flowers are completely OTT

Might as well get a proper babysitter, will cost the same and they will be more flexible - and I always left food/ takeaway for mine.

I do massively judge the parents who accept all this as a thank you - I wouldn't accept it from my neighbours!

The takeaway was enough.

Way over the top!
I babysit my grandchildren 2 sets on a regular basis, do school runs and sometimes over night. I would not expect or want any rewards in doing it.

Hi, I'm a grandparent and we happily 'baby-sit' from time to time, and often have one of the grandchildren overnight. We've never been given anything, and have never expected anything more than, "Thanks so much for having him/her". We do get random gifts of flowers or chocolate brownies occasionally which is lovely.

Neither my parents nor my PIL ever babysit but I would definitely get them something to say thank you - just not three things.

But did you not discuss any of this with your husband beforehand?

I normally give a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers if they've had DC overnight but not for a few hours babysitting.

This is not related to her pils wanting anything (because thats what the whole post is about) to ops husband being over the top. But im sure you know this

Yip all of it was bonkers. The wine (I wouldn’t want them drinking at all). The money for a takeaway was very nice but not necessary. The flowers too wtf. It wasn’t a weekend away it was an evening.

Id have been delighted with a much cheaper bottle if wine and no takeaway or flowers

As a gran, I wouldn’t have expected any of that. But it was a lovely gesture. 👍