Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

Providing a meal for family babysitters is totally normal I think - usually either a ready meal or a takeaway. We're a "there's always wine in the fridge" family so yes, there would be no issue with said family helping themselves to a couple of glasses or a beer (ditto our oprevious nanny when she babysat was always offered a glass of wine) but we certainly wouldn't be buying anything special. Flowers is completely OTT.

Anyone that's ever come over to help my partner and I gets full access to our fridge, but no one has ever taken us up on it. My MIL only ever made herself cups of tea in our house, and would get her own food from Co-op before she arrived! Wine and flowers, not a chance, and I know she'd laugh and say "what's this, love?" if we ever had provided those for her.

I babysit my grand babies sometimes, I get paid with love ❤️ 😍

I don’t think it was the GP’s fault. Firstly it’s hard to turn down flowers once they’ve arrived - they would have been wasted. I’m sure they had no idea how much the wine was. And they needed to eat so accepted to takeaway.

I would have said ‘thanks for the flowers but really no need next time’.

The takeaway I think is reasonable as they came round early, so you should feed them. Wine doesn’t have to cost £30 so that’s DHs fault.

@Slebs the grandparents only babysat for 4-5 hours, and only that long as they wanted to give baby his tea and bath him. £250 would be OTT to pay a professional babysitter for 4-5 hours.

I don’t charge, or get paid - but it’s a nice gesture and I get those but here and there - I may have my favourite coffee bought in (they don’t drink it) though more often I’m taking the kids out to eat, as I like treating them.
Anyway, I actually came on to say that when I have given wine for a treat/gift in the last year or so it has been between 30-40 but that’s just because I inherited it but don’t drink it - maybe it was spare he didn’t like too much? Or maybe that’s what he/they would only consider ok to drink? I’m a wine heathen so don’t know much but my parents would have definitely not drank any but the ones they like, which were that expensive.
I will add that I have tried theirs and it was super strong - wouldn’t have babysat after one glass!
I do think it was a lot - I’d feel a bit odd about getting all that - as if I was having them for a fortnight or maybe parents weren’t ever returning! They may be worrying about future plans he has now!

Well, I’m feeling like Scrooge now, we had very few nights out as both lots of grandparents were quite old, but on the rare occasion they did baby sit I used to leave a tea tray out with some nice biscuits! I would never have thought to pay them, and they would never have taken money for babysitting their beloved grandchildren. My MiL had them for two weekends, and we gave her flowers which she loved, but said not to waste our money, as she grew beautiful flowers in her garden.

@Colourconundrum I’m very much a hands on Granny and wouldn’t want anything for baby sitting but I do like hanging off the doors of my children’s full kitchen cupboards and fridge whilst saying to myself ‘oh they haven’t been shopping yet’. It’s pay back for all the times they hung of my full kitchen cupboards and fridge whilst saying mum, why isn’t there anything to eat. 🤣

But seriously - why did your husband feel he had to show his appreciation of his mum and dad to the extent he did? Was he brought up to always have to give grand gestures to prove his feelings for them?

Do I expect anything for babysitting? No. Joking aside I know I can help myself to anything I want from what’s in the kitchen and I’d never drink if I was caring for my grandchildren.

ETA - my children are very kind to me and I’m being taken away for the weekend by one of them very soon and I know the others will give me spending money for when I’m away. And there isn’t a week goes by when I’m not with at least one lot for a few hours at their home or a trip out. I know I’m well loved.

Speaking as a gran, that’s way too generous. No need for the wine or flowers. You don’t really want the babysitters drinking alcohol.

Sorry typos 🤦

Gish I didn’t give my ostenta anything! I told them to help themselves to anything in the fridge but an expensive bottle if wine, takeaway and flowers? To grandparents desperate to look after the baby? WAY OTT! He’s set the precedent now though…

I don't think so, not for a first time. We don't have the option of grandparents babysitting so we just don't go out often. The last time (2 and half years ago) was for a work thing of my husband's. It cost £250 for a stranger to look after DS. So yeah, I think you did well, and you had the peace of mind of knowing your child was with GPs who love them, money doesn't buy that peace of mind. Treasure them!

My random take on this is that your DH thinks his sister takes the piss by getting 4 days of childcare out of their parents every week and maybe believe his dsis takes it for granted. So he is now going over board to show how he NEVER takes them for granted. And has gone crazy with flowers, booze, etc.

Who spends that much on wine to drink with a blumming takeaway? You get £6.99 wine on special offer for £5.00 for a takeaway, everyone knows that.

Whenever my parents babysat (no inlaws) I always left nice food and wine. They didn’t ever expect it but I think it’s courtesy when you’re asking them to come out, especially in the cold and stay up until 10.30/11 (which would have been late for my parents).

I think the bouquet was maybe a bit much and a call to thank them the next day would do but if it’s the first time then that’s kind. Your DH sounds very thoughtful.

Maybe he just wants to set a good, positive tone.

Whenever my mum visits (she lives in the South and we're up in the North) I always send her chocolates or flowers when she goes home for her to arrive home to as a thank you for all the amazing care she gives our DD while she's here.

I just always want her to know that she is welcome and appreciated.

I think he was bonkers.

We would never expect anything for babysitting our grandchildren - just to make sure there is milk/tea/coffee in the house.
We often would take stuff with us food, wine etc and leave with them. We are comfortable financially and my philosophy is to give with a warm hand. Fortunately the DC's are not ungrateful.

It actually goes beyond thanking them in my opinion to almost making them feel less like a grandparent and more like staff. Others may disagree!

I wouldn't want any of that to babysit my grandchildren. I'd likely have ate before I went if it was 6.30. A "help yourself to anything you'd like to eat or drink", is sufficient.

Christ if I gave my mum that amount everytime she babysat, I'd be bankrupt by now. I've never gave any grandparents a thank you for babysitting, they always seem eager to do it and like helping out/spending time with their grandchildren. We always recognise how helpful they are with genuine messages of gratitude in birthday/Xmas cards, and if anything they seem grateful for being given the opportunity to be so involved with the grandchildren. I know neither set would ever expect or accept a gift anyway.

Shame on them for accepting! If I tried to give either of those to my mum as ‘payment in kind’ for looking after her own GDC, she’d firmly refuse it and if I did it anyway like send flowers for example, she’d send the cost to my bank account!

When our dc were little, people who offered to sit were shown where the tea / coffee was and told to help themselves.

Same as when I've sat for family in recent years (am not a Grandma yet, but for nieces and nephews and God children).
I will look after other people's dc as I remember what it was like to need a break when I had babies / toddlers myself, not as a business transaction.

@Daisywhatsyouranswer yes you are right, not denying it.