Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

When I became a single parent of 2 DCs (9 and 11) I stopped drinking altogether as I realised that they were dependent on me 24/7 and I would hate to be in a situation where one of them needed me in an emergency and I wasn't 100% available. Certainly not saying everyone should do that but that was my choice.

I was comparing this with the number of parents who have a drink at home when their DCs are in bed, I’m sure many do. Is it regular that one parent needs to keep off the alcohol in case a child is ill?

I couldn’t see how parents drinking at home was different from grandparents having a drink whilst babysitting (driving excepted).

Far too OTT! Sounds like your husband got a bit Carried away on the gratitude front

I never drink when I babysit my grandchildren. More the fact that if one of them take ill or something. I do drink at home when my DCs are in bed but they are 26, 21 and 16 😂

The annoying thing about this is that the DH will spend, not thinking, when money is tight. Then when the bills roll in… Mine has no sense when it comes to money. It’s there, until it’s not…

The flowers were definitely OTT. I think the takeaway was plenty.

I’m happy to babysit my grandchildren and either eat before or have the same food as the children if I’m with them at that time.
I wouldn’t really want a takeaway when Im babysitting unless it’s with older gc who are also eating it. I think it’s now quite small and overpriced and I would be happy with a supermarket pizza and some salad.
Deffo no to the wine especially if driving home as it makes me 💤
No need for flowers deffo OTT.

Does his sister pay them £££ for the 4 days childminding? Mind boggling!

They would probably have been very happy to babysit. I know that I am happy to babysit and just help myself to tea or coffee. They were probably embarrassed by your generosity.

I think I feel sorry for your DH that he feels this is how he is expected to behave towards his parents . Or he is flash git playing a role he can’t finance.

I wouldn't do any of that. I'd just make sure I wasn't overburdening them by asking too frequently and be thankful. I imagine one day they'll be old and I'll be helping them out in their old age. In my mind families just help each other out.

this and the fact that your dh pays for them when you go out suggests to me an awkward dynamic between your dh and his parents - perhaps he is not used to his parents doing much for him growing up, so babysitting seemed massive for him. therefore he felt the need to ‘reward’ them disproportionately for it.

Unless they were massively reluctant to do it and he had to beg then that is hugely excessive!

I think it was the addition of the flowers that made it OTT. And maybe the cost of the wine.

A takeaway and a “normal” bottle of wine seem more standard - or even the takeaway on its only, or at a pinch the takeaway plus flowers.

All of it together is OTT and makes me wonder about his relationship with his parents . He might have just wanted to do something nice for them, or there might be an odd dynamic.

Really ridiculous. My parents would be quite embarrassed by that i think.

Hence expect

Not when it presumably comes out of the family budget

As you have in presuming it comes out of a family budget.

Providing dinner and saying help yourselves to drinks etc (including wine although I don’t think I would drink while in charge of grandchild).. but to buy a special bottle of wine and flowers is OTT. I would refuse any further nights out with them babysitting on the basis you can’t afford it.

I wouldn’t stew over the DH, but it would make me think very badly of the GP if they didn’t voice loudly that the amount they were gifted was not necessary and should never be repeated.

I think the takeaway would have been enough. When I watch my DD, s if I don't bring anything with me they always offer, plenty booze too, which I don't bother with. Her 3 are usually in bed so I crack on with their ironing while watching the channels on their TV that I don't have!!. I love it.

Wow! I've never expected (or would accept) anything for looking after my grandchildren. They're my grandchildren! My kids would make sure there was bread in to make some toast, or biscuits, and milk for coffee, but they'd have that in anyway.

Your DH is a nice man. Too nice perhaps?

The transactions were with paid babysitters. I'm pointing out how lucky you are if you have GPs who can and will babysit. I wouldn't stew over my DH sending flowers to MIL if I were the OP, precisely because I know what it's like to not have that relationship to turn to. Be happy they are happy to do it because it's incredibly hard, expensive and stressful to arrange going out if you don't.

I don't think about how much grandchildcare we've done over the years and are still doing school pickups, cooking meals and the odd sleepover and certainly wouldn't expect anything ( though we do get nice birthday/ Christmas gifts). We do it to help our adult children. A bottle of wine not a good idea when left in charge.

I’d be fuming if DS2 spent that on us when we babysit. We sort ourselves out and think it’s an absolute privilege to spend time with DGS.

I would never have such a transactional relationship with my DC and DGC!

London prices, darling! We don't live there, so who knows. They came recommended and I'd rather pay that than pick someone at random because they're cheaper. It wasn't much longer than the OP had out either. We offered room service but they didn't use it, so could have been more!

They only other time we used a babysitter was DS's keyworker from nursery and that was £60 for 3 hours (another work do but local), left £20 for a takeaway and bought in loads of snacks and soft drinks for them. Didn't send flowers. Hoped they'd do it again if it went well, which it did, but she got pregnant not long after and that was that!

On the hunt for someone else, but it's likely we'll just wait until sleepovers are a thing (so just another 6 or 7 years probably!) Like I said, treasure GPs who babysit, it's a whole world of worry taken away if they're happy to. Worth a few quid and a bunch of flowers in my book.