Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

Really over the top. I do however think treating them to a takeaway or a bottle of wine is lovely . We get nothing when we babysit not that we expect anything but we always take our own food or nip to the chip shop and our son and dil are really well off so it’s not a money thing maybe they just don’t think

Its a nice gesture but if I were the inlaws i would ask kindly not to buy anythng next time as I dont want paying with gifts to look after my grandchildren.

As a grandparent, I wouldn’t have accepted the wine or the takeaway. I’d have taken the flowers only because they can’t be returned. However, if mine did that, I’d have a cellar of wine and be fat as a pig as I babysit regularly. I fo hope they don’t expect this every time

So this is what I do with my parents now they babysit. If we go out for a meal together or they come on a day out, I'll pay for lunch / dinner. They'll usually buy me a coffee at some point too.
There's no paying them each time they babysit, that would be a fortune! But as a thank you I do cover the bill when we're together as it were. We used to offer to pay for a takeaway if they were at ours but they pretty much always have her at theirs now.

I'd just make light of it next time you ask them to babysit but at same time setting expectations 'Im afraid we wont be rolling out the red carpet everytime for babysitting but youre welcome to anything in the fridge and we'll buy you dinner next time we go out together'

I mean if you're already paying for dinner anyway you may as well highlight this can go towards babysitting

My parents would baby sit for us for free but I don’t think it’s OTT. Your husband wanted to thank and spoil his parents. Why not!! I do spoil my parents (as they have spoiled me)! So they would have had that and then some!

Oh my goodness - that’s soooo much. I am looking forward to being a grandma, leaving work and looking after the little ones as much as is needed so my daughter and son in law can continue with their careers and work as much as they want and still enjoy their babies. I genuinely won’t expect anything for that, as I’m sure they didn’t - It was a lovely gesture tho x

😂 yes very OTT, surely the point of grandparents is free babysitting and they get the pleasure of spending time with their grandchildren 😉😂

Your dh is nuts imo, I’d be really annoyed with him especially as money is tight, do you think he wants his parents to think he’s richer than he is?!

Hope youre not putting the blame at the inlaws door? They didn't ask. You need to discuss with your dh. It was his decision.

Flowers - too OTT but I often get my in-laws or other family members a takeaway and some wine if they are babysitting so that doesn't seem unusual to me.

This will have to be topped every time they babysit now, start saving! Lol

@RollOnSunshine

It was ONE bottle of wine. Between two people. It’s fine

That's v ott.
Our kids leave us/offer us a ready meal with beer and wine in the fridge if we want it and that is lovely.

The flowers were far far far too much !

A take away was plenty ! esp considering THEY chose to come early for bath time etc.

No wine, they were supposed to be ' working ' / on duty, did they drink it ? who would have driven to the hospital if an emergency arose ?

We usually have grandchildren over night at our house and also do childcare through the week. We don't receive anything. But we don't expect it. I think its more important that you show your appreciation in other ways, maybe inbiting us for Sunday lunch occasionally. We do a lot for our children and grandchildren and I'd like tp think that we could ask them for help if we needed it. It should be a two way thing.

I would be embarrassed to receive a takeaway, wine and flowers tbh.

The wine alone is £30

It’s over the top.

Half the reason grandparents are there is because they want to do this stuff (hence them arriving early to do the bedtime routine). And they want you to be gone so they can look after the children themselves!

I’d let it slide as a one-off.

I wouldn't leave wine out for someone babysitting - you want them to be able to care for the child / be safe to drive somewhere etc. I think caring for someone else's child is different to caring for your own re getting drunk. Give wine as a going home present if you want to give wine.

Takeaway + wine + flowers is overkill.

Feeding babysitters who can't leave the house is important but doesn't have to be a takeaway.

sad to read how many people are expected to babysit without even a small token of appreciation every now and then. I wouldn't treat my parents doing me a favour like that.

This is definitely a dh problem imagine if you did this every time someone looked after your dc just say in future. we should not have to spend all that money on gp who want to look after dc also 30 quid for wine for someone taking care of a child why would you encourage them to drink there not teenagers. Tell your dh this can’t carry on or you will do same for dp.

OTT and that will put you off asking them in future. Some nice food or wine is lovely but bouquet as though they'd done you the most massive favour is excessive.

Id have bought the take away and left a £8 bottle of wine.

I’d pay my daughter to bugger off out so I can look after my grandson 😂😂😂

He knows his parents best and probably wanted to spoil them a little. It’s a different dynamic to your family because he’s a son and you’re a daughter so, emotionally, your family is closer as you probably share all the little things with them that you might not share with your mil. But sons often aren’t taught to be emotionally open & compensate with gifts instead.

The only way to stop this dead is for you to take on the communication side of the relationship with your mil & start making time for regular calls or visits where she feels involved and useful. Essentially build a relationship with her that’s seperate from your husband’s.

I just feel hugely more responsible for the grandkids than I ever did for my kids for some reason - though they all know I like them more too 🤣