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Original poster

Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

231 replies

Colourconundrum · 19/01/2026 13:35

Hi Mums - my in laws came over to babysit DS (1) at the weekend while me and DH went out for dinner to celebrate a friends bday. DS’s bedtime was before we’d even left the house but ILs came over early as they wanted to do his tea & bath. We were back by 1030.

DH paid for them to have a takeaway at our house, left out a £30 bottle of wine & has also just sent a bouquet of flowers as a thank you.

AIBU to think this is a bit OTT? I’m obviously super grateful that they looked after DS but what we’ve spent on ILs has exceeded how much our meal out was!! And a babysitter would have been way cheaper too. I’m also worried it sets an expensive precedent now and money is pretty tight for us.

Just to add my parents were also happy to babysit and I know they wouldn’t have accepted us paying for anything but MIL has been dying to look after DS so I don’t think it wasn’t a massive chore or inconvenience for her that we need to ‘compensate’ for.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 19/01/2026 13:42

The takeaway meal would have been fine. Fine wine and flowers too, wut?

He overspent big time. Ask him why.

SemperIdem · 19/01/2026 13:41

That’s ridiculous of your husband, to be honest.

Boolabus · 19/01/2026 13:41

But your in laws didn't demand any of that your dh wanted to treat them. So you should be comparing you to dh not your parents to your in laws

DiscoBeat · 19/01/2026 13:40

I think that's OTT. One of the three would have been more than enough and anyway I expect they'd prefer to be seen as an active family member helping out with their grandchild rather than a friend doing a favour.

pinkspeakers · 19/01/2026 13:38

I would have thought that grandparents shouldn't need more than a thank you! One of the above items would have been a nice gesture (though I think a £15 bottle would have been fine unless they are particularly fussy!) but all three seems a bit bonkers. Maybe if they were having your child for a week, but not for one evening!! How is your DH's relationship with his parents normally??

Rainallnight · 19/01/2026 13:37

I think the flowers were OTT