Is this a bit much for grandparents babysitting ?

Considering that I don't think I have EVER been given anything by either of my adult children for babysitting... I would be overjoyed with anything at all! But I think the most useful thing for me - if I wasn't looking after the child/ren at my own house - would be the takeaway.

I used to get absolutely starving when looking after my first grandchild at their house. There was always something specifically left for them but nothing for me. I think the implication was that I would just help myself to something but there was never much to help myself to and I didn't like to without it actually being offered anyway.

So yes - I think it is a bit much. I'm fact I think it is much too much.

That would explain why he felt he had to go OTT for yhem. Did he discuss the meal + wine + flowers with you beforehand?

A take away would have surficed to be honest.

Yes. I massively prefer to have my DGDs for sleepovers, than to babysit them in their own home while they sleep. At least that way I get quality time having them to myself in the late afternoon evening and next morning.
And I can spend their sleep time in my own home doing my own thing, until my own bedtime, and not have to drive home late at night.

Quite often tho babysitting is basically sitting there while they are sleeping, not quality time. That kind of is a chore

It’s not a chore to babysit your grandchildren- I absolutely love having mine to myself for a while!
DIL does get me thoughtful gifts, but I certainly don’t expect them!

crikey! When my mum babysat I bought her a chocolate bar or bag of wine gums and thanked her very much.
That is OTT & bit much!

I’d have done it for the bottle of wine🤣

Thinking more about this, surely helping within the family is ‘just what happens’.

We all need help at times.

My adult son has helped me with choosing a car, another shared his photography skills, one shared an online discount code with me for ordering trees and plants.

If I give, I can ask, if they give, they can ask, in a very informal way.
Isn’t that how family and friends support each other?

Very OTT we love looking after my little Granddaughter (sons baby ). We do it for free.

I'm a granny who babysits, I'm lucky to get the TV remote! Actually I do sometimes have a meal there when DD feeds the children, but I wouldn't expect anything else. All the performance might be a bit OTT and put them off doing it again, they probably wouldn't want you to do all that.

It’s overkill , I think leaving them a nice M&S easy ready meal or something homemade to heat up plus make sure you have enough tea or whatever drink they like in the fridge.
Eg I like good camomile tea in the evening and DH likes nice ginger beer .
My parents and in laws never really babysat my 3 .
We had to get babysitters .
I’d happily babysit my grandchild and while I’d like something nice left to eat for my dinner I’d not expect it .

I'm not talking about the OP, where we can agree the spending is excessive, but people falling over themselves saying they don't buy anything, at all ever - or don't receive anything, at all ever for babysittng. I wouldn't treat my parents like a comodity!

Dinner to heat up or takeaway is plenty.

I hope you enjoyed your night out x

My in laws used to have ours kids all the time and over night, I don’t think it occurred to use to give them anything as that’s what grandparents do. When I become a grandparent I would be embarrassed to accept anything from my kids for looking after them. Maybe if it was a week or something but not for a short period.

Not necessary at all

Very generous of him and if he can afford it lovely to spoil his parents but I’d say none of that is normal for grandparent babysitting. One of the items would have been a nice touch.

Sounds Like your DH is trying to seek their approval OP….doesn’t come readily from them?

This.
I regularly babysit for my son & DIL young grandchildren. They are generous with birthday & Christmas gifts but I would never expect them to pay me for helping to look after my own family.

That is absolutely ridiculous. I’m lucky to get a cup of tea when I’m expected to babysit any of my DGC.

You can ask me to babysit anytime!

looking after my grandson is a gift - its precious. I don't want or need a take away, wine or flowers - its my pleasure to look after my grandson whilst his dad ( single dad) is being himself and not DAD for one or two nights. I am looking after my GS in Feb for nearly a week, I have plans of what we will do - spending time with him is a gift no take away wine or flowers can compare to.

I sense that this is only part of the issue with them?
life is short let him spoil them if it’s ok financially of course ? … also are there other issues that have made this grate on you even more ?

This.
Your in laws didn’t ask for anything.
Grandparents only need a thank you, said one respondent. That may well be true but what a dismissive attitude.

I will always have food for a babysitter if they come over before dinner, but in your case next time you talk about going out and he suggests his parents you say we can’t go out then, because we can’t afford a takeaway and flowers and bottle of wine as well as going out so do we cancel the evening or ask my parents or can you change the expectations with yours. We can certainly leave a meal.