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AIBU?

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Mixed sex changing rooms?

367 replies

Whatschanged · 19/01/2026 10:26

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

OP posts:
cinquanta · 19/01/2026 18:47

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 18:03

Try reading the history

PS Your charming little personal insults have been noted.

I have and am none the wiser. Please explain.

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:47

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:44

How do you feel about waiting for a train with strange men waiting on the same one who may go into the same carriage as you?

You seem to be attempting to deflect from the very silly point you made, yes?

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 18:46

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:43

You don’t know the other men in the store either. Or in the shopping centre the store is in. How do people live with this level of fear about trying a dress on when there are women in other countries who aren’t even allowed to speak to each other? It’s like mass hysteria. Over a changing room in a massive shop!

I don't tend to get undressed outside of the changing room.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2026 18:45

Are there really people going through life not knowing why single sex provision exists? Or are they being deliberately obtuse as they think it makes them appear so uber progressive and liberal? I can’t decide.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:44

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:37

The ones people live with are known to them, so how is that relevant?

I'm not inviting any strange man to come and live with me.

How do you feel about waiting for a train with strange men waiting on the same one who may go into the same carriage as you?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:43

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 18:39

You know the people you live with. You don't know the men in a changing room

You don’t know the other men in the store either. Or in the shopping centre the store is in. How do people live with this level of fear about trying a dress on when there are women in other countries who aren’t even allowed to speak to each other? It’s like mass hysteria. Over a changing room in a massive shop!

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 18:39

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:34

Yes. Like the ones people live with.

You know the people you live with. You don't know the men in a changing room

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:37

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:34

Yes. Like the ones people live with.

The ones people live with are known to them, so how is that relevant?

I'm not inviting any strange man to come and live with me.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:34

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 18:30

They are as dangerous as any other man

Yes. Like the ones people live with.

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 18:30

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:27

Do you think trans women are dangerous?

They are as dangerous as any other man

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 18:28

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2026 16:41

The ‘you can’t enforce/police/stop it from happening anyway so let’s make it even EASIER for it to occur’ defence truly blows my mind.

I think I have had a post deleted for calling a man who assaulted a 10 year old girl a man.

This man identified as a trans woman.

There are activists on this thread who are worried about the fact that I have mis sexed a pedophile.

Absolutely shocking.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:27

eastegg · 19/01/2026 18:24

I’d no idea I’d posted something so difficult to understand.

No, not that.

How about ‘let’s not increase the risk from that which emanates from members of staff, to everyone allowed into the store ie everyone’.

Do you think trans women are dangerous?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:26

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 18:25

No if you are advocating for mixed spaces in lieu of single sex ones you are advocating for increased risk to women and girls.

Own it.

Where have I advocated for anything?

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 18:25

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:22

That’s a personal slur. Think you’ve jumped the shark.

No if you are advocating for mixed spaces in lieu of single sex ones you are advocating for increased risk to women and girls.

Own it.

eastegg · 19/01/2026 18:24

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:20

Ok. Correct me if I’m wrong. The only people we can trust in changing rooms are the staff?

I’d no idea I’d posted something so difficult to understand.

No, not that.

How about ‘let’s not increase the risk from that which emanates from members of staff, to everyone allowed into the store ie everyone’.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 19/01/2026 18:24

Peonies12 · 19/01/2026 10:44

Who cares, you’re behind a locked door. I just never shop in person, it’s so boring!

No you aren’t. You are often behind a curtain which has a gap at the top and bottom! Why do you think people are complaining?! Have you not had a man you’ve never met accidentally(?!) open the curtain on you as you bend down in your knickers? Lucky you.

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 19/01/2026 18:23

Once a "woman" took great delight in showing me her penis against my wishes in a women's toilet and took pleasure in my disgust and fearfulness.

I get that some men what to be women, but I've never witnessed a women taking pleasure in showing her vagina to other women in the toilets.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:22

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 17:55

Interesting you mention Huntley. That case directly resulted in increased safeguarding.

You advocate for reduced safeguarding enabling men to have easier access to women and girls.

That’s a personal slur. Think you’ve jumped the shark.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:20

eastegg · 19/01/2026 17:05

I didn’t say vetting is perfect. I think you’re missing my point tbh. The risk from a member of staff who has been interviewed, subject to references, subject to scrutiny in his everyday tasks, as well as vetting, is statistically going to be smaller than from lots of uncontrolled completely random members of the public. Just from a sheer numbers point of view if nothing else.

Ok. Correct me if I’m wrong. The only people we can trust in changing rooms are the staff?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:18

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 17:55

The personal blame game by attributing your post as being something I posted as a deflection stage.

Please quote where I posted anything to suggest that?

AnSolas · Today 14:36
Dont misquote

AnSolas · Today 13:11
It is women who support sex crimes against women.

It may be easier for you if you explain how you moved from

It is women who support sex crimes against women.

to

Sorry, didn’t realise that rape is no longer a sex crime.

Done with you now. I don’t know how you manage to live in society tbh. Take care.

PevenseygirlQQ · 19/01/2026 18:10

I think shops should have a ladies, a gents and a mixed changing room, all options available.

Shops won’t do this however I imagine as they won’t want to spend the money.

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 18:03

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 17:01

Very nice. But it still doesn’t explain why you quoted my “I sometimes take mine in with me, and vice versa” and then blathered on about assurances and consent.

Did you get my post mixed up with someone else’s?

Try reading the history

PS Your charming little personal insults have been noted.

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 17:58

dizzydizzydizzy · 19/01/2026 16:48

There were also disabled cubicles in the male and female changing rooms. Only one family,/ couple etc could use the separate disabled change. It was locked until they finished their activity and got dressed again.

👍

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 17:55

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 17:11

I disagree. Ian Huntley.

Interesting you mention Huntley. That case directly resulted in increased safeguarding.

You advocate for reduced safeguarding enabling men to have easier access to women and girls.

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