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AIBU?

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Mixed sex changing rooms?

367 replies

Whatschanged · 19/01/2026 10:26

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 19:39

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 19:33

I don’t need a diagram to see that you think fathers are less important than mothers, even to a girl who only has the former. I also don’t need a diagram to show me that you’re comfortable to call women stupid or that you’re a misandrist and a misogynist. Is there any sex you like?

Do you have a teenage daughter? I do. Many teenage girls are embarrassed to have mum at a bra fitting, I can't think of many/ any who would want their dad there.

No man should be in women's changing rooms. There is absolutely no need for him to be there.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 19:35

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 19/01/2026 19:18

My friend was at a leisure centre and was changing after swimming, she realised after a few moments that a man had put his head through the gap at the bottom to look at her while she was naked/changing

came as a bit of a shock obviously

Did he have a tiny head? It was it a massive gap?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 19:33

Princesspollyyy · 19/01/2026 19:14

goodness me, are you always this obtuse??

You can see what I am trying to say. I would expect the dad to ask for a member of staff to help, seeing that it would be completely inappropriate for him to be in a female underwear changing rooms.

Now do you understand that, or do you need a diagram?

I don’t need a diagram to see that you think fathers are less important than mothers, even to a girl who only has the former. I also don’t need a diagram to show me that you’re comfortable to call women stupid or that you’re a misandrist and a misogynist. Is there any sex you like?

TheignT · 19/01/2026 19:28

ParmaVioletTea · 19/01/2026 19:14

This post is worth repeating.

Most of us don't know men who would do this, but men do do this. It's not all men; but it's only men.

I've heard so many (nice) men say that women generally have no idea about the extent of depravity of some men's drive to sexual entitlement to women's bodies.

Yes men, some men, do this but don't kid yourself that women can't be depraved. As a teenager I started work in an old-fashioned department store, think Grace brothers. I was put in the underwear department working for a woman who was a properly trained corsetiere, not like a M&S bra fitter. I was being trained and measured a woman up and went to get some bras. Got back to a stark naked woman inviting me to touch her breasts. Boss went in and had words. It was horrible and I left soon after.

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 19/01/2026 19:18

My friend was at a leisure centre and was changing after swimming, she realised after a few moments that a man had put his head through the gap at the bottom to look at her while she was naked/changing

came as a bit of a shock obviously

Princesspollyyy · 19/01/2026 19:14

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 16:46

You wouldn’t be there if her father was her sole carer.

goodness me, are you always this obtuse??

You can see what I am trying to say. I would expect the dad to ask for a member of staff to help, seeing that it would be completely inappropriate for him to be in a female underwear changing rooms.

Now do you understand that, or do you need a diagram?

ParmaVioletTea · 19/01/2026 19:14

LadyBlakeneysHanky · 19/01/2026 18:59

I was recorded on a phone by a man in a changing room.

Any man who enters a female changing room is showing you who he is.

If you’ve got any doubts about this, grit your teeth and look at the many many vile recordings of women, clearly made covertly, on the world’s biggest porn site.

The normalisation of predatory access to women and girls in changing rooms is sex abuse. Women are expected to put up with it like we are expected to put up with being choked.

Women who normalise this by invading male changing rooms are deeply stupid and irresponsible.

This post is worth repeating.

Most of us don't know men who would do this, but men do do this. It's not all men; but it's only men.

I've heard so many (nice) men say that women generally have no idea about the extent of depravity of some men's drive to sexual entitlement to women's bodies.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 19:11

eastegg · 19/01/2026 19:07

I’m not answering that, because it in no way relates to anything I’ve posted.

Fair enough.

eastegg · 19/01/2026 19:07

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:27

Do you think trans women are dangerous?

I’m not answering that, because it in no way relates to anything I’ve posted.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 19:02

.

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 19:01

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:52

No. I think you’re all living a strange life but I can’t take that away from you unfortunately. I just feel pity that you’re in a cult.

Living a strange life/ cult where we think that the dignity and safety of female people matter.

Right oh.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 19:00

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:58

Well that's fantastic for you.

Other women have good reason to want to maintain single sex changing spaces.

You do not get to consent on their behalf. Suggesting they're in a cult for wanting this is a) extraordinary behaviour and b) kinda shitty as some of them will have suffered abuse at the hands of men and will be influenced by that

What changing spaces? I avoid the ones where women who are strangers shower naked and think it’s appropriate.

LadyBlakeneysHanky · 19/01/2026 18:59

I was recorded on a phone by a man in a changing room.

Any man who enters a female changing room is showing you who he is.

If you’ve got any doubts about this, grit your teeth and look at the many many vile recordings of women, clearly made covertly, on the world’s biggest porn site.

The normalisation of predatory access to women and girls in changing rooms is sex abuse. Women are expected to put up with it like we are expected to put up with being choked.

Women who normalise this by invading male changing rooms are deeply stupid and irresponsible.

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:58

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:56

Good. Nor do I. I’m not scared of mixed sex changing rooms though.

Well that's fantastic for you.

Other women have good reason to want to maintain single sex changing spaces.

You do not get to consent on their behalf. Suggesting they're in a cult for wanting this is a) extraordinary behaviour and b) kinda shitty as some of them will have suffered abuse at the hands of men and will be influenced by that

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 18:56

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:54

Even when you bath? Strange.

You should try it. Wash your clothes at the same time as washing yourself. Saves time and money - would highly recommend

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:56

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:55

Yes.

Extraordinary

So you think the Supreme Court are also in this cult?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:56

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:55

As it happens, no I don't

Good. Nor do I. I’m not scared of mixed sex changing rooms though.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:55

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:54

You think people are in a cult because they're standing up for women's legal rights to single sex spaces?

You really, genuinely think that?

Yes.

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:55

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:54

Do you go topless on the beach?

As it happens, no I don't

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:54

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:47

So you don't understand the difference between places where you get undressed and places where you don't.

Interesting 🫠

Do you go topless on the beach?

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:54

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:52

No. I think you’re all living a strange life but I can’t take that away from you unfortunately. I just feel pity that you’re in a cult.

You think people are in a cult because they're standing up for women's legal rights to single sex spaces?

You really, genuinely think that?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:54

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 18:46

I don't tend to get undressed outside of the changing room.

Even when you bath? Strange.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:52

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:47

You seem to be attempting to deflect from the very silly point you made, yes?

No. I think you’re all living a strange life but I can’t take that away from you unfortunately. I just feel pity that you’re in a cult.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2026 18:48

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:47

You seem to be attempting to deflect from the very silly point you made, yes?

Just the one point?

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 18:47

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 18:43

You don’t know the other men in the store either. Or in the shopping centre the store is in. How do people live with this level of fear about trying a dress on when there are women in other countries who aren’t even allowed to speak to each other? It’s like mass hysteria. Over a changing room in a massive shop!

So you don't understand the difference between places where you get undressed and places where you don't.

Interesting ðŸ«