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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mixed sex changing rooms?

367 replies

Whatschanged · 19/01/2026 10:26

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 12:40

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:33

So you mean trans women. A minority. Shops have changed to mixed sex changing rooms due to the furore from some women about trans women using them. You reap what you sow.

Men are not a minority group.

Men who identify as trans women are not female so have no place in single SEX places for women.

If these men, and their allies respected women and saw us as fully human then women would not be effectively excluded from parts of society by the removal of provisions for us on the basis of our sex.

BundleBoogie · 19/01/2026 12:40

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:33

So you mean trans women. A minority. Shops have changed to mixed sex changing rooms due to the furore from some women about trans women using them. You reap what you sow.

No, it’s because they don’t want to deal with having to say no to trans identifying male customers who quite frequently get aggressive if they are not allowed into the ladies. So everyone suffers.

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 12:39

and the pickme women who sneer at the fact that women can be sexually assaulted in posh shops too

I’m guessing a “pick me” woman is any woman who doesn’t share your point of view?

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 12:38

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:33

So you mean trans women. A minority. Shops have changed to mixed sex changing rooms due to the furore from some women about trans women using them. You reap what you sow.

Yep. Tis only proper to punish women for ask not to be subjected to a higher risk of non-contact sex crimes and other harms.

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 12:38

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:35

Women have been known to poo in changing rooms and leave it for the staff to clean up.

While this is obviously disgusting, it doesn't make men masturbating in the women's any more desirable as an outcome to be facilitated.

BundleBoogie · 19/01/2026 12:37

Whatschanged · 19/01/2026 10:42

Also, the lockable doors, you could argue make it less safe, I'm sure this is an extreme thought and extremely unlikely to happen but a man could follow a woman into the changing area, and lock her in the room with him.

Lockable doors didn’t stop a man flashing at a women in a South West M&S store.

M&S have been terrible on this for ages, from taking down the male/female signs and letting men use the women’s changing rooms to employing a man who identifies as a woman as a bra fitter (I don’t think he was very popular among the teen girls).

A recent debacle had a trans identifying male member of staff inexplicably in the lingerie department (he claimed he was passing through) who approached a teenage girl to ask if she wanted help choosing a bra.

And that’s not to mention the reviews they had published on their website from men wearing ladies underwear.

M&S have zero respect for the welfare or dignity of their female customers. I have voted with my purse. I will never shop there again.

3beesinmybonnet · 19/01/2026 12:36

My nearest Matalan used to have separate M and F changing rooms. I went recently and there's now one room for everyone with fewer cubicles altogether than were in just the women's previously. The cubicles were lockable but had a small gap at the bottom of the door and a BIG gap at the top. I tried the jeans on but no way was I stripping to the waist trying the bras on in such circumstances - I felt far too vulnerable.
Luckily the bras fitted as it's miles away from my home, but I won't be going back.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:35

FlorenceBlack · 19/01/2026 12:31

There’s a thread elsewhere on Mumsnet about a male masturbating in a female changing room, complete with video if anyone is in any doubt about what he’s doing. I would guess that the type of person who does that isn’t the type of person who will clear up after themselves and will more than likely leave the cubicle in a state for the next unsuspecting user, but I could be wrong.

Women have been known to poo in changing rooms and leave it for the staff to clean up.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:33

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 12:30

Men who want to be in women's single sex spaces for whatever reason.

Until men insisted that having a gender identity made them entitled to enter single sex spaces for women shops had single sex spaces!

Unfortunately some women don't see an issue with this, probably because women are socially conditioned to put the wishes of males before our own needs.

Edited

So you mean trans women. A minority. Shops have changed to mixed sex changing rooms due to the furore from some women about trans women using them. You reap what you sow.

FlorenceBlack · 19/01/2026 12:31

There’s a thread elsewhere on Mumsnet about a male masturbating in a female changing room, complete with video if anyone is in any doubt about what he’s doing. I would guess that the type of person who does that isn’t the type of person who will clear up after themselves and will more than likely leave the cubicle in a state for the next unsuspecting user, but I could be wrong.

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 12:31

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:27

Who?

men

and the pickme women who sneer at the fact that women can be sexually assaulted in posh shops too.

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 12:30

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:27

Who?

Men who want to be in women's single sex spaces for whatever reason.

Until men insisted that having a gender identity made them entitled to enter single sex spaces for women shops had single sex spaces!

Unfortunately some women don't see an issue with this, probably because women are socially conditioned to put the wishes of males before our own needs.

upstairsdownstairscardboardbox · 19/01/2026 12:28

I don't go in M&S anymore. I was told breastfeeding in the cafe was 'making customers uncomfortable" - an old man who'd taken a photo of me and been asked by DH to delete it which prompted his complaint. Then the pervert reviews of knickers which they refused to take down and finally letting men in the bra fitting changing rooms. They seem to have forgotten who their customer is again.

FlorenceBlack · 19/01/2026 12:27

toomuchfaff · 19/01/2026 11:03

If you (or anyone) have triggers, then there are other options; ordering online and trying clothes on in home, shopping elsewhere. A business offers a service, If the business doesnt provide the level of service you require then vote with your wallet and shop elsewhere.

That’s exactly what I chose to do. I had an unpleasant experience with a male in the changing rooms at M&S about seven or eight years ago and so decided not to purchase clothes from there anymore.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:27

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 11:17

People who have no issue with individual cubicals have obviously never entertained the fact that men can and have hidden cameras in them.

I think it’s awful op. It doesn’t benefit women at all, so consider who it does benefit .

Who?

TheKeatingFive · 19/01/2026 12:25

I expect most women would prefer single sex changing rooms. Unfortunately the likes of M&S don't think women's needs matter these days.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:24

Whatschanged · 19/01/2026 10:42

Also, the lockable doors, you could argue make it less safe, I'm sure this is an extreme thought and extremely unlikely to happen but a man could follow a woman into the changing area, and lock her in the room with him.

We’ll all have to stay at home soon the way this is going with something as mundane as a changing room in a department store.

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 12:20

JHound · 19/01/2026 11:01

I know M&S is largely mixed. My local outlet only has one section for changing rooms so they have to be unisex.

They are fully enclosed so I don’t really care tbh.

Yep because men dont hide cameras in any area they can access to perve on women a children.

The ever elongating list of police officers, doctors and "nice" men convicted for non-contact sex abuse using phones and other recording devices never happen.

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 12:18

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 12:08

How so? In most shops the women's clothes are on a different floor or in an entirely different area from the men's section of the shop! Why would anyone pick up a item of women's clothing and carry it to the men's section to try it on, or vice versa!

We all KNOW why shops are doing this, it is not for the benefit of women!

Did you read the OP? A women used the mixed changing rooms on the adult men’s floor.

RobinEllacotStrike · 19/01/2026 12:17

"Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops...?"

Woke retailers have deemed that single sex changing facilities are outdated and no longer requires by their customers. Retailers faced either keeping single sex spaces which would mean saying NO to men who want to change with women, or getting rid on single sex spaces entirely. Which is what many of them, including M&S, did.

Only a nasty bigot terf "worst kind of woman" would object to such an inclusive policy, and everyone hates them anyway, so we should all simply shut the fuck up about it.

My daughters & I take our custom elsewhere.

Goldensunnydays81 · 19/01/2026 12:15

Our next has the women’s and men’s clothes on one floor with one lot of changing rooms and then the kids and homeware and cafe upstairs with a cafe - didn’t really think much of it - all the local supermarkets have closed their changing rooms and you just have to take it home to try stuff on

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 12:08

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 12:05

How do mixed sex cubicles benefit women?

By making more cubicles available to use. Saves you having to go up or down a floor or wait in a queue.

How so? In most shops the women's clothes are on a different floor or in an entirely different area from the men's section of the shop! Why would anyone pick up a item of women's clothing and carry it to the men's section to try it on, or vice versa!

We all KNOW why shops are doing this, it is not for the benefit of women!

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 12:05

How do mixed sex cubicles benefit women?

By making more cubicles available to use. Saves you having to go up or down a floor or wait in a queue.

BillieWiper · 19/01/2026 11:59

Another thing is the fact if you come out of the changing booth wearing the stuff you're trying on, you couldn't really run away without leaving your bag/wallet/actual clothes in there. To potentially be stolen. Well, the wallet or bag might be. Almost like a double whammy of pervert/flasher/wanker and robber. There could be two working together?!

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 11:42

Mumsntfan1 · 19/01/2026 11:37

A male employee could hide a camera. A man could get a woman to hide one for him.

Yes, so why make access for men to do this easier?

How do mixed sex cubicles benefit women?

I preferred single sex ones, they were better for safety and dignity. Having mixed sex changing areas with lockable cubicles do not benefit me one bit. They increase the risk of voyeurism, they have health and safety concerns unless they have gaps at the top or the bottom in case someone has a medical episode and if they DO have gaps the voyeurism chances increase further.

In single sex areas it was easier to flag help from assistants if you got the wrong size or something without getting fully dressed first.

There is not a single benefit to women, yet so many women don't care!