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AIBU?

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Mixed sex changing rooms?

367 replies

Whatschanged · 19/01/2026 10:26

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

OP posts:
Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:50

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 13:46

What's been OK since 2010?

If shops are providing single sex changing rooms as permitted under the Equality Act 2010 then sex means biological sex and has done since the act was passed in 2010

Edited

Up until now, trans people have used spaces according to their gender.

lifeturnsonadime · 19/01/2026 13:49

ThatCraftySquid · 19/01/2026 13:46

If the changing rooms, with private cubicles, are busy, it makes no difference if a man is allowed there or not. So-called "man" could be my own sons by the way.

if they are completely deserted and you are alone, it makes no difference either if a man decides to come in and assault you - if a creep decide to commit a sexual offense, pretty sure a little sign "women changing room" won't be much of a deterrent

If it's a mixed sex changing area, at least there's a chance a guy stronger than me will come and help me if i shout for help if I am being assaulted.

Regardless, it makes no difference if I put on a dress if a man is in the next cubicle, or 3mn further standing at the door of the changing area, that's what so ridiculous.

What is actually ridiculous is that women lost single sex spaces in stores like M&S because a bunch of men decided that they should have the right to be in there based on a feeling in their heads and then M&S listened to the men and disregarded the actual needs/ safety and dignity of actual women.

It's just misogyny to not see the issue.

Lavagir1 · 19/01/2026 13:49

I am happy with any changing cubicle that the door closes properly on, and has enough room and mirrors for me to see myself properly.
I've fortunately never had a problem in changing rooms with other adults, but the number of times I've been creeped out by other people's children peeping in and staring at me while the parent is busy is huge. Same in ladies loos!

ThatCraftySquid · 19/01/2026 13:46

If the changing rooms, with private cubicles, are busy, it makes no difference if a man is allowed there or not. So-called "man" could be my own sons by the way.

if they are completely deserted and you are alone, it makes no difference either if a man decides to come in and assault you - if a creep decide to commit a sexual offense, pretty sure a little sign "women changing room" won't be much of a deterrent

If it's a mixed sex changing area, at least there's a chance a guy stronger than me will come and help me if i shout for help if I am being assaulted.

Regardless, it makes no difference if I put on a dress if a man is in the next cubicle, or 3mn further standing at the door of the changing area, that's what so ridiculous.

spannasaurus · 19/01/2026 13:46

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 12:57

When did this start as it was ok since 2010.

What's been OK since 2010?

If shops are providing single sex changing rooms as permitted under the Equality Act 2010 then sex means biological sex and has done since the act was passed in 2010

Rewis · 19/01/2026 13:45

I learned a few years ago that fitting rooms in shops were gender specific. I had always thought it is fine to use any and it is fine to have your partner of opposite sex to come in and give an opinion. But after telling off, we learned to stay in the shop area and do the 'modeling' out there

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:44

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:39

Which if allocated as a women only single sex space should not be occupied by any male no matter what he calls himself

How do you cope with normal life if you can’t be around men? They will be in the shop while you’re in the changing room.

ThatCraftySquid · 19/01/2026 13:42

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:39

Which if allocated as a women only single sex space should not be occupied by any male no matter what he calls himself

why?

You're fine with the male cleaners, the male staff, so what difference does it make to you if someone with a penis has entered the space at some point? You were not there anyway?

ThatCraftySquid · 19/01/2026 13:40

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:35

Which part of ignoring that there is an additional risk by removing safeguarding is funny?

If you REALLY believe a little cardboard sign "women changing room" is safeguarding enough to remove any risk, you are either very naive or something I can't say on this forum 😂

Communal changing room - with no private cubicle - is a big no. I don't care if it's female/ male/ mixed/ transgender, it's just no. Communal changing rooms must no exist.

Individual and private cubicles are absolutely fine. Makes no difference who is next door.

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:39

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:18

It’s a cubicle ffs 🤣

Which if allocated as a women only single sex space should not be occupied by any male no matter what he calls himself

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:35

ThatCraftySquid · 19/01/2026 13:13

Guessing you are campaigning for WOMEN ONLY stores to prevent any issue then? 😂

Which part of ignoring that there is an additional risk by removing safeguarding is funny?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:35

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:33

Name one what?

A woman who condones rape.

Screamingabdabz · 19/01/2026 13:34

Where have you been op?

Of course society has changed - the EDI lobby have made sure misogny rules and men - even though as a sex class they commit most of the violent and sexual crime - are given a free pass to all girls and women in any changing room, toilet, rape centre, women’s refuge, hospital ward etc.

They have been given magic words that the ‘#bekind’ hamdmaids assure us that will make all those men who say them perfectly safe. The magic words are ‘I identify as a woman’ - and the magic is so strong they don’t even have to have a medical certificate or anything. They can still look like a 6 ft brick shit house with full beard and adam’s apple but the doors to all women’s safe spaces will open.

Even though the law says otherwise. The government are too weak to enforce it.

And worse, girls and women will inevitably be distressed, uncomfortable and sometimes at risk of harm, but who cares about them eh?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:34

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:31

So we have moved on to the look women who want single sex spaces are sex offenders who want to engage in non-contact sex offending stage?

What?

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:33

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:13

Name one.

Name one what?

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:32

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:26

Access its about access.

Which is why Scottish police ended up searching the chreche for hidden cameras

https://www.bordertelegraph.com/news/25430700.police-search-holyrood-creche-msp-hidden-camera-probe/

That was a man. What’s this got to with changing rooms?

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:31

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:13

I’ve never been in a single sex changing room and I’m 62.

Mind you, I’ve never thought naked showering in front of complete strangers is apparently something people crave.

So we have moved on to the look women who want single sex spaces are sex offenders who want to engage in non-contact sex offending stage?

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 13:30

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:20

Is this ^ not where you add the assurance that he is nice and other women should just know that he would never even dream of ignoring their consent?

There’s no need to add any assurance.

Ignoring other women’s consent to what? Him accompanying me into a mixed sex changing room?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2026 13:30

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:29

You

62 years old you say? Hmmm.

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:29

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2026 13:26

Yet here YOU are. Not as funny as denying trans women are men 🤣.

You

energizer bunny 90s GIF
ThatCraftySquid · 19/01/2026 13:27

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 13:25

Not being bothered about mixed sex changing rooms is a sex crime now?

only in some very bitter people's head, I wouldn't worry too much.
Thankfully we don't have to put up with them too much in real life 😂

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:27

LlynTegid · 19/01/2026 13:24

That is a third space of sorts. Not all leisure centres have them though.

It’s not a third space. They are just bigger cubicles in the communal changing area. Of every single sports centre I have been in.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2026 13:26

Differentforgirls · 19/01/2026 13:24

Yet here you are. Had to reply as you’re so funny. 🤣 Last one though. 👍

Yet here YOU are. Not as funny as denying trans women are men 🤣.

cinquanta · 19/01/2026 13:25

AnSolas · 19/01/2026 13:11

It is women who support sex crimes against women.

Not being bothered about mixed sex changing rooms is a sex crime now?