Am I allowed to be upset??

My grandad was 97 when he died. He had a good life and was well cared for. I only really cried at the funeral which I had to watch from my husband's bedside. He was very ill with complications from his prostate cancer op so I was more worried about him tbh. You can be sad but be grateful that she lived as long as she did - hopefully without pain.

I will be charitable and assume he's not lost anyone close yet.
i think it's surprising how sad/blindsided we can be at the loss of anyone we loved and until you've been through it you've no idea how you're going to react

Of course you're upset. You've had her your entire life.

I was absolutely devastated when my nan died. It was years ago now and it still makes me sad to think about it. She was just such a huge part of my life.

Your DH is being ridiculous. There's a massive difference between acknowledging that someone has lived a long life and knowing it will inevitably end at some point to actually having to deal with the loss and grief.

I think in the longer term it helps to be able to say they lived to a good age. But that comes later.

Your DH is a heartless bastard! I lost both my parents over a decade ago and in all honesty I’m still grieving I guess. I have days when nothing bothers me but then a simple thing like a song on the radio or a place name comes up in conversation which sparks a precious memory and I’m struggling all over again!

Hold your memories close OP, your DGM was obviously very special to you 💐💐

Of course your allowed to be upset she was your grandma tell your husband to dig down deep and find his misplaced empathy, I helped to take care of my grandma in the final few years of her life she died in December and I’m so lost without her even though we had already grieved for her while watching her slowly slip away to the environmental delirium I’m grieving for her in a different way she was 87 and we knew she wasn’t going to last much longer but it still hurts that she’s not here anymore.

My mother is 94 ...95 in March. Still lives at home and is semi independent but getting frailer. I am going to be really upset, I know, when she dies and so will all of her grandchildren who are all now adults with children of their own. We know she can't live forever but she's been part of all of our lives for all of our lives and we will all miss her. I am very sorry for your loss op. 💐

Sorry for your loss. 99 is a great age but she was your Grandmother. I don't know how old you are but your Grandmother has been yours since you were born.

I had one Grandmother for 5 years and the other for 13 years and as I'm now 58 I have no thoughts or feelings about them. Your husband is an unsympathetic knob.

My great-granny was 98 when she passed away and I was devastated. Of course I knew she couldn't live forever and I'm grateful to have had her for as long as we did. It wasn't unexpected, she'd been frail for only the last 2 years of her life after being very fit and independent till then but she was still a hugely loved and important person to me. DH also loved her and grieved with me.

Of course you're allowed to be sad, your DH is being massively insensitive.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

i am so sorry for your loss,and that is exactly what it is, a loss. Somone you love has died and you will never see them again. Of course you are grieving, and he should be supporting and caring for you, not dictating how he thinks you should feel.

Sorry for your loss.
You are allowed to feel exactly how you feel. Your feelings are yours and no one else’s. 💐

I don’t think the age of someone matters at all when they die - you loved them and will miss them whether they were 39, 79, or 99. I’m sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss 💐

She was part of your whole life, all the years you have been on this planet she was there, of course you have a right to be grieving. He is very insensitive.

I still miss my Grandmother who died at age 91 seven years ago. I miss speaking to her. Even if it is expected you will still feel the loss of her in your life and that is normal. Take it easy on yourself, there will be ups and downs in how you feel day to day and you are allowed to feel all of those feelings when you have them.

There’s lots of comfort to be had when someone does after a good long life that was well-lived. But that doesn’t mitigate feeling sad at their death. You’re never going to see her again, of course you’re sad.

How horrible of him. Very sorry for your loss OP

first of all, you are ALLOWED to be upset for whatever reason you are upset - they might be meaningless, but no one can dictate how you feel. You keep it to yourself in public, but that's nobody's business. Some people are upset because a celebrity they don't know passed away, or because some complete strangers at the other side of the world just died!

Your husband is, as said many times above, a dick. It's YOUR grand-mother, just because it's expected to happen at some point does not make it less sad.

Sounds a lot healthier and kinder than people saying "old people don't count anymore".

My 100 yo GMa died a few years ago and I remain grief stricken and bereft. I was shocked but realised she'd been the constant in my life. My DM 'changed' reinventing herself over and over whilst Gma was always so steady and dependable.

Oh OP I’m so sorry for your loss. My beautiful grandmother died three years ago, she was over 100 and I still cry now. It’s not about age, it’s about how much we love them and miss them. It’s a terrible thing for your DH to say at any time let alone after two bloody days. I’d be rethinking the relationship if my DH said that. Grief is very personal and he doesn’t get to manage yours.

if someone doesn’t understand that when you really love another human you’d naturally be upset or very sad when they die (at any age) I’d be wondering if they’ve actually ever really loved anyone? Perhaps they have no emotional reference point for what losing someone you really love might feel like.

I’m sorry for your loss 💐

He's being a dick and you should tell him that.

Unlike perhaps his experience, her very long [and hopefully happy] life means you have had far more time with her than many of your peers whose GP's may have passed away when they were young. So of course you will feel her absence more.

he is a bellend. Sorry about your grandma OP. ❤️

Fine to be upset.
Fine to be a bit surprised at how upset.

He's an insensitive prick.

You absolutely are allowed to be upset!! DH is an idiot. I have lost many many people in my life so far.

The only thing I will say is, that older family still hurt a lot when they died. But for me anyway acceptance came a lot sooner. You can find a lot of solace in that they lived a long and full life. That is compared to people who just die far too young.

Of course you knew she would eventually die, but it is still painful when you lose someone you love.

Nope, of course you're allowed to, you don't need his permission either.
We lost my FIL in June last year, he was 95. Still hurts.