I’m in an absolute mess.
My DS is 7 and is my only child.
Everyday I am absolutely terrified something will happen to him. I don’t know how I can live like this for the rest of my life. It’s truly debilitating.
I don’t sleep very well at night , as I spend lots of time going into his room to check he’s still breathing. I have this huge fear that he’ll just stop in his sleep. I’ve actually convinced myself that if I write it down or think it - that it’ll happen, so it took me an awful lot of strength to write that.
I have diagnosed OCD , autism and ADHD.
I see danger everywhere, I keep reading stories and seeing news articles about parents losing their children for many different reasons and in my worst moments I think it’s a sign it’ll happen.
I have regular intrusive thoughts and images about it.
I’m so frightened of living this way for the rest of my life. What happens when he’s a teenager out with his friends or starts driving? Or he goes abroad?
I live my life in a constant state of terror.
He seemed a bit off tonight when I put him to bed. Said he was really tired which is unlike him (he’s normally a live wire from morning until night) now I’ve convinced myself there’s something wrong and I’m going to need to check on him all night in case.
I think back to before I had him and although I have always suffered with anxiety it was never to this extent. I’m literally living in fight or flight mode 24/7.
Is this normal for parents or not?