HH income of £250k but we don’t feel rich?

We have a household income of probably £100k ish (in a good year, currently I have cancer so not able to work, so wouldn’t really call it a good year). We have an £800k house, that we hope to pay the mortgage off on in about 5 ish years (10 years after purchase). We have expensive hobbies and I have a horse (used to have 2!). And two dc, though in state school with no childcare costs. I feel quite comfortable and fortunate (minus the unfortunate cancer thing 😂) so you’re obviously doing something wrong.

You are having a giraffe,

Are you really trying to tell me OP posted at 19.55 and the squillion posts since then are all in the same wage bracket?

Mumsnet has some gems at times and this is another.

• Tinkly laugh ** Head tilt

Sorry this is demented. If you earn six figures plus you get some very good pension advice.

I don’t care if this is a wind up now. If you are a SAHM and your husband does not have a pension arrangement earning above 100k then you need to sit down and have a serious conversation. You can never save enough so do it immediately and FGS see a financial adviser

LOL.

So he earned 180k for 15 years, now earns 250k, you have 'less than 120k' in pensions (how much less? Over 100k?) and you're not even 40?

Seriously. You're doing more than fine.

If it's not a rage post I'm genuinely gobsmacked that you don't see how lucky you are. No, you aren't 'rich' but you are EXTREMELY comfortable and very lucky.

I’ll bite, OP. We’re a £10k a month household.

What I’m reading here is that you have a lot of income, but you don’t have a lot of security. Financial wellbeing and financial security are two different things.

Now, you must recognise that you have security in terms of choices. You speak of not feeling ‘well off’. Your choices are in fact the thing that makes you well off, but you have to accept that money-rich isn’t the only type of rich. You are choice rich.

Of course, no one, no matter how much money they have wants to make the the choice to sell their home or pull their children out school if the shit really did hit the fan. Those are emotionally loaded and irrespective of money.

What you have to accept, however, if that you can’t have it all ways. You can’t have the big spending AND the financial wellbeing you are craving. You have a lot of income, but you don’t have enough income for that.

You’re in the position you’re in, so you’re only choice is to either sit with the anxiety or to relinquish a number of your big spends – school fees and/or your £2000 fun money a month. After all your kids are young so the school fees are going to exponentially rise.

I’d hazard to guess that without the private school or fun money that you then won’t feel well off in either due to no longer having them.

The very simple answer is that you have a lot of money, but you don’t have THAT much money.

£180k for 15 years and you are both late 30’s - that is a very very large salary from a very young age.
Did you have children at a young age and have been paying school fees since you mid-20’s? If so, assuming they are teenagers, why are you not working to contribute to the savings?
Or have both been very profligate and wasteful?
Either way, having disposable income to save thousands for yourselves, children and pay school fees does mean you are in a very fortunate position.

Taking home £10 - £12k a month is not wealthy 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh my days. Gotta love mumsnet for its total detachment from reality

Wow. Maybe save less per month and then you’ll feel loaded. We’re very privileged to live on waaay less than that and feel very lucky but we haven’t managed to save a penny for the last 22 years since having a family. It’s a privilege to be able to save that much per month.

You still have £2500 as the “rest” after all bills! And can’t afford a hair cut more than once a year! Sure thing 🙄

also nursery fees are not forever.

Who would you like to see reply to her? Clearly the one that earn no where near it are only going to reply something bitter.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Get a job or bin off the school fees.

YABU

He earned 180k for 15 years and they have a mortgage and no pension?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

My diamond is too heavy for my hand

Hold me in your sleeves lads, send thoughts and prayers my way😭😭😭😭

I guess your situation is a bit different because it reads like you both work (nursery fees and afterschool club), plus you have a very significant expense for your sen dc. I imagine that is not really a choice.

OP is choosing to send dc to private school, choosing not to work, and has a cleaner. Op can 'only' buy clothes from M&S, Next etc, and 'only' has £500 personal spending money for herself EVERY MONTH.

I still don't quite understand how you can only afford to have your hair once a year.

Well I'm actually a multi millionaire but I feel desperately poor because I have only got two houses and I haven't even got a fancy yacht moored in the South of France!

It's a terrible life for me & I just don't know how to cope. We only went to Dubai three times last year!
Cry for me 😭

🎻

You save £2k a month… that’s more than my net income!!!

Not a lot. It’s usually camping. Or staying with relatives. Once a year we’ll rent a cottage for a week but overseas is rare because it’s expensive and hard to organise.

What a twat

How much are you spending on holidays?
Why go abroad for a week? There's plenty of cheaper options...

The nursery fees won't be forever.

Fucking hilarious seeing posters elbowing each other out of the way to get their nebs in with oh yes I have that every month doesnt everyone?🤣

But you ARE rich. You have riches galore. Have a look at just how fortunate and rich you are.

You have a 4 bedroom home that you can afford to heat (I assume) and maintain.
Your dh has a fantastic income.
You can save more than £20K per annum, plus another £5K for you dc.
You already have £120K in pension contributions and this will only grow in the future.
Your can afford to clothe yourselves and your dc (doesn't matter where those clothes come from - you are warm and well dressed and not waering shoes that no longer fit).
You are not wondering EVER how you are going to afford to put food on the table, or what might happen if the washing machine broke down.
And you have £1K of personal spend, and still some money left over.

You have riches sufficient that you can CHOOSE to send your dc to private school.

You have riches sufficient that you can be a SAHM, and you can also have some help in the home with cleaning.

OK, you would struggle if your dh lost his job. So what are you doing about that? Are you getting more qualifications or planning a return to work to ease that worry?

Honestly, do some volunteer work with people in real poverty and open your own eyes to your priveledge and wealth.

Guess what OP? You ARE well off!

Whether you feel it or not is irrelevant but you are compared to the majority of the country.
I honestly despair when I read these nonsense threads. I hope this one is a fake wind up because surely no one is genuinely this stupid?

OP, what you are describing is financial mismanagement

We take home that and we can’t afford staff! Who could?

Well we earn £250k but take home less as extra income tax (Scotland) is £800 a month. Then pensions etc. We’re left with just under £10k for family if 5. Not wealthy. School fees for the Sen child £2500, mortgage £2,500, bills £1,000, nursery fees, £1,200, after school club £200 Holiday fund, presents, food, car (10 year old estate), insurance etc takes up the rest.

Things I’d love but have no money for - hair cut more than once a year, new clothes not vinted, holiday more than a week overseas a year, skiing would be nice. And a once a month cleaner and gardener would be heaven!