HH income of £250k but we don’t feel rich?

I find this post so offensive that I could honestly cry.
I have 2 very young children that I would love to stay at home and look after but I cant afford it. I get up and go to work full time, as does my partner and we are only just covering the bare basics. Struggling to find the money for any extra activities, classes or holidays.
You sound unbelievably entitled to whinge about what you have in life when you aren't even financially contributing yourself. Having children does not mean that you can not work, seriously. If you are not happy with your lovely life then put your big girl pants on and get out in the big wide world and do what the rest of us as doing and fucking work for it.

Well then you both sound incredibly financially naive and irresponsible... we started putting aside money for pensions as soon as we left university, it was only a small amount each month but combined pension pot at 39 is around £500k. My DH now earns a similar amount and we feel very rich indeed, we would not be able to afford private school in the area we live in and properties are very expensive here, but fundamentally we have OPTIONS, as do you. Have you considered returning to work if you want to boost monthly income? Once children are at school you'd be better off working surely.

I think to feel 'well off' you need to find yourself a job. That will do it. HTH You're welcome 😊

That's how I started too. A nice advert on the intranet that said they'll match up to 10% + an additional 3%. Yes please!

It's just bewildering that you can get to such earning levels and still be so unaware or unbothered. I guess the house can become the pension.

Well clearly school fees and a high mortgage are biting chunks out of your income, aren't they? Plus £2k savings per month. You're obviously not going to feel especially well off when these expenses reduce your income to £3.5k a month. I have this amount after my mortgage for just me, and I'm very comfortable despite earning far less than your H. If I was keeping a family of 4 on it, I wouldn't be.

Well you won't feel "rich", will you? Even though you clearly are.
I mean, it's down to your lifestyle - you're throwing 3 grand on school fees, around 3 grand in savings, over 3 grand on bills.....
Although on the other hand on what planet is £500 each disposable income and 2k left for holidays, clothes etc after all that "not well off?!"
Come on man 😁

I think a lot of people just see is as money they could be spending now. I only started paying into a pension at 28 (started working at 25) because my employer offered a match scheme and it seemed stupid to leave free money on the table.

But I meet so many people who have money but almost see pension like a tax so they make minimal contributions. Or they see it as admin. My former landlord is mid 50s with a lavish lifestyle and no pension.

So I completely get how OP is in this situation. And her husband likely could not be arsed with the admin.

You are counting optional things as necessities.

School Fees are optional. A property with a mortgage of 3.5k is optional etc. Savings are good but still 2.5k of savings a month is still an optional extra many don’t have.

That’s why you don’t “feel” well off.

I never felt well off when I used to go out a lot partying and dining out, had two long haul trips a year but also had a 30% savings rate.

But many others could not afford that.

You are listing all your expenditure but then claim you don’t feel well off because of what you have left AFTER all your spending is complete.

This is a strange post. "We spend our money on these things. Where is all our money going?" You've literally listed where it's going? Reduce one or more of your outgoings and you'll have more left over. 🤔

Anyway, I guess this is the sort of thinking that leads Tory MPs to say that they are destitute on their 200k per year salary.

Why would you expect to be rich under that circumstances?

Yes, it is a huge salary, but wealth doesn't mean what you take home this month, wealth is what you have without this month's salary, wealth is accrued (or accrued by someone else and inherited).
You are at the accruing phase - those 2500£ savings and 3500£ mortgage counts towards that.

And your accruing is relatively slow, only half of the income, because you have significant expenses - 3 sets of school fees.

Your life style will be comparable with one of a pair of 99k earners, or solo parent on 80k who inherited a house in your area and have one instead of three children (the numbers are very vague guesses, just to illustrate).

The good thing is that any income you'd bring can go towards security/savings and luxuries.

Isn’t this just basic maths?

Our household income is less than yours but we both work. We deliberately saved to pay off our mortgage so we don’t have one (we’re mid 40s). We also own our cars outright and deliberately bought a house in a good area for schools so we didn’t have to go private (also 3 kids).

If you take off private school fees, car finance and mortgage from your salary then we actually have more than you!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do these things but they come, literally, at a cost!

Best thing to do to feel richer BTW would be for you to get a job- also lots of other benefits to you (it always worries me when there’s one high earner and very high outgoings which would be completely unsustainable). What would happen if your DH got ill, had a breakdown or had an affair, or the bottom fell out of his job area?

Oh and if he is a higher earner and you are not working the pension tax efficiency should be going to you, if its not...

Get some actual financial advice though to make sure your savings are doing what you need them to do

@Bdrgvlugcbu

@Bdrgvlugcbu
How do you earn £180 - 250k for over a decade and not have a healthy pension? Was it ignorance or a case where you just got accustomed to excessive spending - larger house, nicer car, school fees - at the expense of sensible financial planning?

I work in a job where I see lots of payslips and so many people opt out of good pension schemes. I always presumed that's because they are really hard up soevery penny counts, or they just don't understand the value of a pension.

I'd expect that's not the case though, if you've gotten to £180k. Is this a product of you both growing up poor and not having any foundational knowledge of financial management? Genuinely interested.

It's spending choices and security.

Your DH earns a lot bit it is not infinite money, if you have big outgoings then of course you will not feel rich even though objectively you are well off. You also feel insecure because all your eggs are in one basket. You would be better off both in terms of spreading risk and tax wise if you also got a job.

Also I suspect you both need proper financial advice. Why the fuck was your DH earning £180k pa for 15 years and not saving in to a pension. If nothing else as someone who was self.employed it would have beem more tax efficient.

I suspect you have both been profligate and a bit financially illiterate for some years but you have not felt it as you DH's high wages have coveres the reality.

Don’t panic, you have at least another 30 years to build up a good pension pot. I didn’t start paying into a private pension until I was in my mid 30s and it’s fine.

Perhaps because your DC attend private schools and you mix with the ‘rich’ it has skewed your perception of what most families have to live on. My DDs and their DPs all work full time and would consider themselves lucky to have anything left over at the end of the month.

@Bdrgvlugcbu you only feel like you are not well off as you have your children in private school so alot of your income isnt available for spending or saving. 3 kids x 20 -30k a year when they are at secondary will be a huge pain. So get used to it now.

Huge chunks into savings, for valid reasons and a mortgage on a 4 bed rhat allows you all to have a room - again valid reason...

However...

You are very well off an you know it.

The list above is full of choices

Choices are a luxury

You do! You put it in yours and your kids savings account!

Agree it's all relative though. After 6 months on the dole and back in paid work I remember buying the first not-absolutely-essential item, a pyjama top of all things in next, and feeling as rich as Jeff Bezos!

You do get the odd tale of a family on say over £100k morrgaged up to the hilt in london with kids in nursery and think ok they have a point. But this thread is very baity. Probably a teenager who's bored.

Really?

I felt wealthy the first time I didn’t have to stress about replacing an appliance or fixing the car if there was a problem. Long before I became a high earner.

I’ve always earned my money perhaps that’s what helps. I know how much work went into obtaining it and how much my effort enriches my life and my family’s lives.

Do we all love a bit of rage bait?! 😂

You feel poor because you don’t yet have a quarter of a million in savings?

This has got to be a joke 😂

Most people don't save £2k a month, privately educate what sounds like primary school children and afford for one person to not have to work and still get a pension and generous spending allowance. If you made different choices with that money you might have more of the trappings of wealth. You are rich. You choose to spend your money in different ways.

Get over yourself, and count your financial blessings. Jeez 🙄

You spend more on Private schools and cars then my family's monthly income.

You don't need to be doing either of those things.