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Original poster

HH income of £250k but we don’t feel rich?

415 replies

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 19:55

Not a brag in the slightest! And wouldn’t discuss this non-anonymously.

DH earns just over £250k per year. Has fallen into the role really and is based on natural ability/talent as oppose to lots of hard work and training. He works very long hours though. I’m a SAHM to 3 young children.

Take home is approx £12k per month.

School fees: £3,000 per month
Mortgage, car and bills: £3500 per month
Personal savings £2000 per month
Kids savings: £450 per month
DH and I take: £500 personal money each per month
Leaves us with £2,000 per month for general spending, food shopping, days out, holidays, children’s clothes…

We don’t really go without, but we don’t feel “well off” by any means. Where are we going wrong?!

OP posts:
AwfullyGood · 18/01/2026 20:31

You're a SAHM earning nothing, with at least one child in school, but don't do your own ironing or cleaning and complain you don't feel rich enough!

If I was your husband, I'd want your contribution to either income or domestic chores to increase.

Have you ever considered how much of a drain on household income that you are?

The solution here lies a lot with you.

MidWayThruJanuary · 18/01/2026 20:31

@Lonelycrab
MN don’t believe it to be a windup.

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 18/01/2026 20:30

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:25

We don’t have an expensive house or cars.

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But you do if theuri costing you what £3000pcm?

To put context my mortgage is £450.... Our bills total around £1000 including the car....

And we definitely don't have another £3000 for school fees, or £500 pocket money each...

We coud maybe stretch to £45 a month for kids savings... £450 is a lot

Nevermind17 · 18/01/2026 20:30

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:23

There is no way we could afford a proper nanny. I look after the children. We do have somebody who does our cleaning and ironing though (comes in under the bills section).

We live in a 4 bed semi. We don’t need a housekeeper.

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Why do you have a cleaner if you’re a SAHM?

Why does your DH save £2k a month from his post-tax income for retirement when he could put it into a pension and get tax relief on it? That makes no sense.

MadAsAMongoose · 18/01/2026 20:30

Send your kids down the mine. Why are they at school when they could be earning? You're probably feeding them meat as well aren't you? Don't do that, children survive best on a diet of potatoes and pond water. Get them up before they go to bed, hand them a piping hot jacket potato and send them on their way to local pit. Where do you live? Hope you're not down South, it'll be a long walk for them, but that can't be helped. Now, while I think about it, they'll be so busy they won't need bedrooms, a drawer each should suffice. Now you'll have three spare rooms available to take in lodgers.

Abd80 · 18/01/2026 20:30

Where you’ve gone wrong is asking mumsnet. I would seek wealth management advice from a professional accountant/ wealth advisor.

Yuja · 18/01/2026 20:30

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:25

We both grew up incredibly poor.

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Na, if you grew up incredibly poor then you would understand how wealthy you are now.
I grew up extremely poor, my household income now is around £150k and I feel utterly rolling in it tbh. I don’t believe this is genuine

Lonelycrab · 18/01/2026 20:30

ITS A WIND UP
EVERYONE

Op has zero other posts apart from this thread.

Original poster
Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:29

shhblackbag · 18/01/2026 20:29

You sound it. It's not normal to moan about not having enough money when you're on 250k a year. Something's going on. Figure out what it is because this is ridiculous.

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I’m not whinging. We have a lovely life. But it doesn’t feel massively different to friends who have smaller incomes.

OP posts:
willstarttomorrow · 18/01/2026 20:29

Just wondering how short of irony/insight OP is off a tattle gotcha post? The mumsnet thread over there is an absolute thing of beauty. If this is not one of you, then it should be x

DecemberGloom · 18/01/2026 20:29

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:25

It doesn’t.

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Statutory contributions would be less than £4k per year roughly at £250k, so not a huge amount.

Get some financial advice.

Also look for your value and worth outside of what material possessions you own.

shhblackbag · 18/01/2026 20:29

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:26

We’re not unhappy.

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You sound it. It's not normal to moan about not having enough money when you're on 250k a year. Something's going on. Figure out what it is because this is ridiculous.

Original poster
Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:29

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 18/01/2026 20:26

Maybe she thinks it's not a good pension.
. because she also thinks have £2500+ leftover each month is not much money 😂😂

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DH has been self employed for a very long time and didn’t pay into a pension. He earned approx £180k per year for 15 years. He now has a job paying £250k and has only been paying into a pension for 2 years.
We have less than £120k in pensions between us. We are late 30s.

OP posts:
icouldholditwithacobweb · 18/01/2026 20:28

You do have lots of money left over, and you know it. You are choosing to spend £3k on school fees, and you're still managing to save £2k a month. That's £5k you had 'left over' and you have allocated it. Stop being ridiculous.

cardibach · 18/01/2026 20:27

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:19

The children’s clothes are from supermarkets, next, M&S. Our clothes are high street. We shop at Aldi. We live in a very normal but nice area. You just imagine that this kind of salary gets you more than this but it doesn’t. I have no idea what you would have to be earning to live in a multi million pound house and drive around in £100k+ cars as we live a life nothing like this.

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It would get you a lot more than that if you didn’t save so much, spend on fees or whatever your £2000 for expenses is more than I get each month, for a start.

OldMaaa · 18/01/2026 20:27

Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:26

We’re not unhappy.

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Why are you moaning then?

missmollygreen · 18/01/2026 20:27

You are spending too much
HTH

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 18/01/2026 20:26

bombastix · 18/01/2026 20:24

Nah. What 250k job doesn’t have a good pension.

Come on Mumsnet, this is a piss take

Maybe she thinks it's not a good pension.
. because she also thinks have £2500+ leftover each month is not much money 😂😂

MidWayThruJanuary · 18/01/2026 20:26

MN hid the thread and have reinstated it therefore as far as they are concerned the op is genuine.

Original poster
Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:26

itsthetea · 18/01/2026 20:25

You have more than enough to be shopping elsewhere / that’s your choice

we have .. a tad less than you …. And don’t need to buy everything as cheap as possible - how much stuff do you own? 500 personal spend , and then another grand for family spending ( assuming a whopping grand a month for food which is hard to do if you shop in Aldi )

Money buys security , you can’t buy happiness , that comes from within

We’re not unhappy.

OP posts:
itsthetea · 18/01/2026 20:26

Of course it’s not a good pension because good is twice whatever they have

Ruggerlass · 18/01/2026 20:26

onlymethen · 18/01/2026 19:57

Awa an boil yer heid

Love it.

Original poster
Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:25

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 18/01/2026 20:23

"You just imagine that this kind of salary gets you more than this but it doesn’t."

What more than expensive houses, cars, kids in independent schools, huge savings and loads of spending money each week.... What more do you want?

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We don’t have an expensive house or cars.

OP posts:
itsthetea · 18/01/2026 20:25

You have more than enough to be shopping elsewhere / that’s your choice

we have .. a tad less than you …. And don’t need to buy everything as cheap as possible - how much stuff do you own? 500 personal spend , and then another grand for family spending ( assuming a whopping grand a month for food which is hard to do if you shop in Aldi )

Money buys security , you can’t buy happiness , that comes from within

Original poster
Bdrgvlugcbu · 18/01/2026 20:25

bombastix · 18/01/2026 20:24

Nah. What 250k job doesn’t have a good pension.

Come on Mumsnet, this is a piss take

It doesn’t.

OP posts:
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