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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband wants another child.

69 replies

Isit2026yet · 18/01/2026 16:44

DH and I are early 40s. DD is early 20s. He's suggested we think about having a baby now. It’s a no from me but he thinks I'm being unreasonable by just saying no and not discussing it.

OP posts:
Myfridgeiscool · 18/01/2026 17:10

Get a dog.
What's going on in his head!?

DarkForces · 18/01/2026 17:08

The problem is that there's nothing to discuss. It's not something you can compromise on. I'd be exactly the same. I'm mid 40s and planning for the next stage when dd moves out and we have to fund uni. The idea of starting again and having to find the money when I'm close to retirement is an anathema to me

AnnaMagnani · 18/01/2026 17:07

My discussion would be:
I'm too old and don't want the higher risk of disability in the child
I'm too old and don't want to be still parenting in my 60s
I'm too old and think my perimenopause has started
And DD has been an only child for 20+ years so is very unlikely to be pleased by a new arrival

Also finally WTF does he mean by bringing it up now and not in the last 20 years

VickyEadieofThigh · 18/01/2026 17:06

Has this come entirely out of the blue, OP? Did you both decide 'One and done' 20-odd years ago when you had DD, or has he mithered repeatedly about this over the years?

Did you ask him "What's brought this on, then?"

Ahhhblissful · 18/01/2026 17:04

Not on your nelly would i have a baby in my 40s.
This is your time now op.
My baby is 23 in may I couldn't think of anything worse than going back to the baby stage.

VivIsBlonde · 18/01/2026 17:04

Absolutely batshit crazy !
who the hell wants a baby at your age and you’ve already got a adult daughter, who’s of the age where they could possibly have their own baby.
whats his reason for wanting a baby this late in life?

outerspacepotato · 18/01/2026 17:03

You don't have to discuss it. It's your body and the answer is no.

If he wants another child that much that it's a deal breaker, he has to go find another woman to marry and have a child with.

Is he unaware of the risks involved or just doesn't care? Is he using another kid as a way to keep you with him and more dependent, especially if you developed health issues or this child had health issues?

Zanatdy · 18/01/2026 17:01

Absolute no way

Fitzcarraldo353 · 18/01/2026 17:01

Tell him to get a hobby if he's feeling empty -nest feelings. Starting all over at this stage sounds like a nightmare. Plus the risks and toll it takes on your body and your career in particular can't be mitigated by him particularly nas you've every right to shut that discussion down.

Wayk · 18/01/2026 17:00

Why after so long?

Wayk · 18/01/2026 17:00

Why after so long?

Wayk · 18/01/2026 17:00

Why after so long?

Wayk · 18/01/2026 17:00

Why after so long?

Wayk · 18/01/2026 17:00

Why after so long?

GallonHat · 18/01/2026 16:59

Tell him he's very welcome to get himself pregnant and crack on.

Twat.

TomatoSandwiches · 18/01/2026 16:57

If you don't want one then there is no disscussion to be had.

Comedycook · 18/01/2026 16:50

Whoever doesn't want a baby "wins"

Luckyingame · 18/01/2026 16:48

No, you are absolutely not being unreasonable.
What prompted him to want another baby now?
Even if everything went great, you would be 60 when your kid becomes an adult.
Where is your own life?
What a strange idea from him.
Yes, I'm happily child free, six years older than you.
Your husband probably banged his head.

Zov · 18/01/2026 16:48

Oh absolutely hell to the NO.

The golden rule here is that the decision of the person (in a couple) who does NOT want a baby trumps that of the person who does.

Having another baby in your 40s, when your child/youngest child is in their 20s, is peak batshit.

How is your marriage? Are you fairly happy? Or not? Is there a chance that he is threatened - or worried - that you no longer have the commitment of children? Is he trying to tie you down/tie you him for another 18-20 years?

It's all very odd.

If he persists, then tell him to fuck off @Isit2026yet

.

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