Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

this

we know now why the Bio mother is not with him !!

Even with no child involved- him cooking food but not for you, going out for the whole evening (most nights) then cooking at 11pm and EATING IT IN BED WHERE YOU ARE SLEEPING!!!
OH goddess - THIS is enough to end a relationship.

Was coming to say the same. Not just unbelievably inconsiderate and selfish but sordid too. But why have you let him do this OP?
My DH obviously wouldn't dream of doing this, but if he did, it would stay just that - a dream! There's no way I would tolerate that.

Also I would lay a sizeable bet he leaves the kitchen a complete mess of dirty pans and dishes for you to deal with in the morning.

Gosh what a selfish arse and lazy dad he is. If nothing else I sincerely hope you don’t have a child of your own with this man.

No doubt he will have palmed his daughter off on some other woman at the gym. He needs to step up and start parenting his own child.

Poor poor kid. Two parents who aren't interested in her.

That doesn't make it your job and you're doing the right thing, but I just feel so sorry for her.

Such a prick.

Dies he have any good points? You dont mention any, but there must be something in this relationship for you?

If not, you know what to do.

Good luck

Good luck. It doesn't sound like either of her parents are much use, poor kid.

Ugh what a prick. Ick

Stay strong. You are in a great position of realising what he is before you have children with him.

What a selfish bustard. His poor poor daughter.

Selfish lazy bone idle bastard.
And yes i bet he gives the kid to a female gym member to look after. If thats the case i hope she posts on this site too. If he did this to me i would be phoning Social Services.

Stay strong, OP, don't be gaslit or emotionally blackmailed. You have done nothing wrong here.

DP called me this morning and said he was “so tired, with another full on day”.

Another full on day doing what?

Certainly not looking after his child!

So he's after sympathy for something he chooses to do rather than has to?

Dear oh dear!

Good luck, I hope he sees how selfish he has been but suspect it’s unlikely he can see how much he has taken advantage of you

Please don’t have children with this selfish man. He sounds SO BORING!

How do you stand it?

This is very true. If he said the right things I'd give him a month to show it, but no more than that

He can't change easily - his belief that parenting is for women is exceptionally entrenched. Even when @seasonofthebitch was ill in bed, he wouldn't be a parent to his daughter through choice - because he believes it is her role and his contribution must be minimum.

His choice not to parent is comng across as an obsession and very much like toxic masculinity.

Thanks for the new thread, its tragic that you care more about that poor little girl than any of her relatives do. I bet he says he won't let you see her again, but that would only be to hurt you. I'm sure he will find a new gf to look after her very quickly

Please get rid of this awful man, and I hope that someone steps up for that child, but it shouldn’t be you.

Good luck OP. He is a dreadful parent and a dreadful husband at the moment. Either he changes, or get yourself out of there.

Good luck to you OP. I do hope you heed the warnings that he might try to trap you with a pregnancy to cement your parenting role. Please take care of yourself.

Thanks for updating. And I'm glad you are seeing what he is.
Even with no child involved- him cooking food but not for you, going out for the whole evening (most nights) then cooking at 11pm and EATING IT IN BED WHERE YOU ARE SLEEPING!!!
OH goddess - THIS is enough to end a relationship.
But adding in the absolutely cheeky fucker thinking HIS child is YOUR responsibility during all this fuckwittery... Jeez

Please make sure your contraception is ROCK solid. I hope you have a spare room to sleep in so he cant disturb you at night any more.

Im sorry this is the end of your marriage, likely, but thank the stars you know all this before having a child and not being able to walk away from him!

likeafishneedsabike · Today 16:32
"So this child has spent 5 hours this weekend at the gym? I can’t remember how old she is but I’m pretty sure she’s too young to use gym equipment2

She's 5.

You beat me to it!

OP, this is such an eye opener, it’s a gift really. He is not only showing you what kind of a father he is, he is also telling you. Listen to him. Don’t have children with this man.