Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

I assume he sold it because, as the OP mentioned way back, it wasn't successful. By "sold" he may just mean that he's terminated his contract with the gym, so is no longer having to pay for space there, and has passed his 2 or 3 customers on to someone else.

Crossed my mind as well.

I honestly thought this for a bit as well 💯

Could the constant gym issue could have been an OW

Or because he'd realised that despite his desperate efforts it wasn't actually making any money?

@seasonofthebitch

Sadness may come. If it does just remember it's sadness for the loss of the dream, for the man you thought he was not the man he is.

Whilst he's being all contrite, get your ducks in a row and take the actions you want to take. Once he realizes Mr Contrite isn't getting him what he wants, he'll probably turn nasty. You want to be ready to take the nope train to Nope Town when that happens.

Not married, sounded like a one night stand situation.

I think his OW dumped him when she found out about DSC.

Op your had one hell of a week, your strong enough to know your worth op,
Hope this weekend is nicer for you, I hope h as put plans in place for the little one, 💐

Best outcome. I get the feeling if you were not so strong he would not change. He is selfish, he proved that as a Father as well. He did not put his daughter first.

Sorry, just wanted to say @ReleaseTheDucksOfWar that's a great name

@arethereanyleftatall has it - you've probably done your grieving.

What a fool, selfish using fool, the man is.

It's a theory of mine, don't know if it's true or not, that some men think the women who love them love them like their DMs do, just as DM wouldn't turn her back on them that's how their wives feel. It comes as such a shock to men when women like @seasonofthebitch finally turn away and have lost all love for them, then it's mad scrambling to win them back.
You'd think since his own DM was fed up with him the Ops husband would have pulled his head out of his arse a lot sooner

Well done for being so strong. Yes he may temporarily improve his ways but this is who he is to his core and he would soon slip back into old habits.

He’s finally realised what he’s about to lose. Too little too late though.

He’s crying for himself.

Watch and see how quickly he gets nasty once he realises you’re finished.

Bottom line is his go to is to screw women over and use them as skivvy aupairs.

His mother, now you.
He doesn't care less about his child, just as long as he lives his life unbothered.

He's crying for himself, not OP.
He had no interest in spending time with her.

He's 100% crying for himself because he under estimated OP.

He thought she was so foolish that she could be used and he could live his life exactly as hd pleased.

He is crying for the fact that HE will be inconvenienced.

Certainly not for his child who he couldn't give a shit about.

His regret and tears are all about him.

If OP was my daughter I would be so thrilled she has woken up finally that she is a pawn in his big important life.

He will not change.
This is who he is.

He might pull back slightly but he will always be looking to use and screw her.

He also is a rapist as coercive sex is more abuse of the OP.

This is a really bad man.
Possibly a covert narcissist.

Get away OP.
Don't fall for any of his promises made out of desperation to keep you stuck as his skivvy.

Well if it's the latter, there'll soon be efforts to bring it onboard to Free Childcare Ltd, which will fold soon if a merger or acquisition deal isn't found.

They always do, and then revert back to type within a few weeks.

I wonder if the business really is a business or whether it's got tits.

It’s too late, you told him you were unhappy and he refused to listen. He’s only listening now because your unhappiness affects him.

He could be forgiven if he was stupid or if this was his first marriage (I’m assuming he was married to his daughters mother) but he’s far from stupid, his actions point to someone who is merely fucking selfish.

Get out now. I don’t know if you want children with this man but he’s definitely proven that, as a father, he’s never going to be any less selfish.

If he's a consultant and can work 9-3, why does he need to spend so many extra hours on another 'business'?!

His "day job" must bring in plenty of money already: it's not like he's NMW and working 2 jobs to make ends meet. The gym business was literally eating up every moment at home with OP and his daughter. Did he even ask or consult her about whether she was OK with barely ever seeing him?

What child has ever said they loved their parent working all hours because they had nice toys and designer clothes ? This poor child is growing up getting the message from both parents that she's in the way, an inconvenience, not someone they want to spend time with, that other things, jobs, money, boyfriends are all much more important than her. Neither of her 2 parents is prioritising her and her needs. It's not enough to put clothes on her back, a roof over her head and food on the table: her sense of safety and her emotional needs are being badly neglected here. I think OP when you have your own kids you'll realise what a pair of horrors these 2 are as parents and that you had a lucky escape that you didn't choose him as a father fir your kids.

You can tell him that all the effort he's willing to put into your marriage he should put into being a good father to his daughter. Maybe he should go to counselling himself to talk about how he can be a better Dad and unpick why he's been so shit up to now.

I strongly suspect that what PPs have said is true - this is the lovebombing phase and he'll change but who knows, maybe he'll actually listen.

Even if he only changes in so much as he does the parenting basics enough not to look like a neglectful parent it would be better for your DSD.

Your story is similar to my relationship in lots of ways. I never did get sad after the actual break up, with hindsight I’d already done that, and grieved throughout the relationship itself. Once the emotion went, I wasn’t a doormat any more, in fact I suddenly found my exes points in arguments hilariously ridiculous. But I’d fallen for them for years. Ironically as soon as I started standing up for myself, he seems to respect me far more, and we get on better now than we did before. I’m fairly sure he wants me back, but not a chance I’d have him. I’ve seen who he is, and I’m worth more. As are you.