Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

I don’t blame you OP. It’s really sad for the wee girl but you can’t give up your own happiness for someone else’s child that her own parents can be arsed with.

He's probably found a female staff member to mind her. Poor kid.

Good luck OP.

Good for you OP. I exercise a fair bit, used to be a lot (1-2 hours most days). I still managed to parent my kids, cook dinner, get the shopping, tidy up and all that other stuff.
He's got his priorities all wrong here

You're so much better than this

Following

Of course he can't cope, the nanny has had the weekend off and she's expected to sort out his inadequacies.

I have to say OP that you don't stand a prayer with this man.

I am so sorry, but at least you can see very clearly that he actually is refusing to parent his child.
That mess is to punish you.

If you have ANYWHERE to go tomorrow, I strongly suggest you pack a bag and take extended space.

This is a bad man.
Extract yourself and consider contacting social services about both this childs parents.
I also think taking photos is an excellent idea.

They are a disgrace.
This is Jeremy Kyle territory.

Jesus, what a pathetic man child. Surely you must have the ick now with this "man"? You are an intelligent woman with a great job who could go it alone without this millstone of a selfish prick around your neck. You're a catch. Why are you with him? If he's like this with his daughter, he'll be like this with any shared children too. Please consider your options carefully and get the hell out while you can.

He’s fucking awful op. Absolutely fucking awful. I’m sorry for you because you havent had much time to process how very awful he is.
in his mind, this weekend was teaching you a lesson. How dare you not look after his kid, and do his housework for him.
he must take you for an absolute fool if he thinks you would fall for that.
I would remain in the spare room, and I would apply for divorce.

Are 4/5yrs allowed in the gym while he trains ?

poor kid. He couldn’t just spend a day caring and playing for her

unless things change @seasonofthebitch you know this can’t continue and it will be splitting up

The occasional hour is one thing but this lazy self obsessed f**ker is happy to do it for hours on a regular basis

Op, youve got to tell him he’s being a shit father. Surely he knows that is terrible parenting?

it sounds like he never puts himself second in anything.

So sorry for your and the girl, but glad you reached out here and to your sister.

I would have taken photos of the mess and lack of food to go with the report I'd be making to Children's Services.

I read your last thread but am just catching up. I guess I wanted to say don't fall for the guilt trip. Cos that's what he will do next to try to guilt trip you into taking on DSD. Also you have a full on career (even PT it's hard!) you don't need to have to look after another man child. (And believe me, theres alot of them in medicine!) Just take a deep breath and concentrate on yourself for once. Taking a breather from him (even just a break, or at least tell yourself that now if you need to) doesn't mean you can never ever be in this child's life ever again. Just pass your number to her mum and say - if you ever need a bit of help or if she asks when she's a teen. I'm here. But I'm here for me and her not because of him.

That poor little girl. I am really cross on behalf of her and you.

THIS.

I think you’re done. What a selfish bastard he is.

I just can’t imagine why an intelligent, independent, caring woman like you has ended up married to a misogynist bore. What kind of life must you both have with him going to the gym between 3-5 hours a day? Sounds absolutely mind numbingly dull.
Then to top it off it sounds like you do all the housework even though you’re a doctor?
Have you lost your senses??
You deserve so much better. Get the hell out of there and thank your lucky stars you don’t have children to tie you to the loser forever.

In his life, having a child has changed nothing: he is still the most important priority.

Having a child means SHE needs to be put ahead of him.

What seems to have happened is that he sees that she needs to be put ahead of you, but is totally resistant to sharing the load.

I’m sad your relationship is over, but I’m pleased you have realised this before having a child with him.

Beyond weaponised incompetence.

He clearly can't parent or adult alone.

I would go heavy with the "aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

What more do you need to know?
He will not change.
As far as he's concerned, you have to do all this stuff.
I bet he thinks it will be business as usual once you've got over your little tantrum. I expect he'll try to guilt trip you about how you are being mean to his daughter.

He wants a full time nanny, cook and cleaner with extras on the side.

What do you want?

He's not even trying. That's how little respect he has for you.

He's a shit husband, and shit father, thank fuck you have woken up to this before getting pregnant by him.

He's punishing you for daring to be absent. He's also demonstrating how much he's struggled all weekend. Poor little lamb can't do the basics required to live for 48 hours. Don't touch any of it. It's his mess.

God he’s pathetic. Stay in the spare room.