Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

Thank goodness.
Please be careful.

He is the ugliest of rats, and they are unpredictable when cornered.

He knows exactly what he has been doing and he will not like the inconvenience of you divorcing him.

Please gather your stuff and be able to walk out of the house when he inevitably gets nasty.

I am so sorry.

When you're so disappointed like this, the sadness goes and you just want to get on with it. You start to think over all the times you've just been taken advantage of and been so unappreciated.

It's a sign of just how disconnected he is and how little parenting he's done that he's so thrown by his child waking up with a cold, as if this isn't a totally mundane and common part of having kids. It's not as if he considers it his problem anyway.

It's so telling that the default is you stay off with her if she's sick or her grandmother comes over. Never him. He sounds like an appalling partner and father. You're going to be well rid.

This! Good luck Op! Stay strong! You deserve so much better.

What an absolute prick he is. The lesson he’s learned from this weekend is that he needs to up his control over his wife’s behaviour, so he’s trying to guilt trip you about how awful you’ve been. You’re nothing more than a malfunctioning appliance to him. His expectations are outrageous. Well done for breaking out of this situation.

Good on you op, I can’t believe he’s behaving like this about his own child! Poor DSD I’m guessing her mother is similar to her dad.

HE’s the martyr?!!! Message and him and say you’re welcome for my taking the time with dd this morning, just noting you will be the one home next time dd is sick so I can work. I’m sorry you’re tired, which is more than you’ve ever said to me when I’ve done all the wake ups for your daughter.

just as a nice fuck you preamble to divorcing him. Which the asshole will think ‘came out of nowhere’

It's eye opening, isn't it, how these situations creep up on you?

So YOU don't need to stay off with her?! You're still talking as if it's your responsibility when she's sick, not his!

But why would there be any expectation it would be you who would stay home if grandma unavailable? She has two parents. You're a doctor, presumably your patients need you

"So I don't need to stay off with her"

No, no, no OP. So he doesn't need to stay off with his daughter. It's scary how he has indoctrinated you into thinking she's your responsability! You are lovely but she is NOT your responsability.

Sad read :(
you sound like a lovely and smart woman, I hope you can continue to be in this little girls life, she sounds awesome too

chicks rock

Umm...so you don't have to stay off with her?!

What a horrible selfish man and so sad to read how his precious gym comes before his lovely daughter and wife.
Be prepared for a lot of manipulation as he’ll do anything not to lose his childcare.

He’s 100% in panic mood thinking he’ll have to parent his own child.

Oh he's in for a rude awakening when he can't go to his precious gym because his live in nanny is gone. He spends more hours there per week than some people do in their jobs!

Well I said he'd start on the emotional blackmail but he's doing some bloody guilt tripping instead. He hasn't worked out that the weekend wasn't a one off yet Op, he thinks pouting and feeling sorry for himself will pull you back in line. If you're leaving then I'd get on with it before he turns nasty, he's far too self obsessed to make divorcing him easy

Some men seem to assume that childcare is a woman’s responsibility and it’s beyond unreasonable of them to look after their own children 🙄.

OP, he will be aghast that you are pushing back on this. He thinks he is too important and too male for something as mundane as looking after his own child. Moreover, because you have a vagina he will believe you should be privileged to do most of the child care.

I've been lurking on this thread in disbelief but have to post to support you OP. This man is unbelievable and I'm so angry reading how he has responded to this. You deserve so much more in life.

Its awful for this child but you can't live your life in suffering for someone else's child. Before you leave,, could you approach the school and let them know that this will be a big adjustment for her as essentially you have been put in the position where you're her main carer. She will need emotional support going forward so the last thing you can do for her is make sure school knows that needs to be in place.

Good luck to you. You're doing the right thing xx

"I've never felt so alone in a relationship" said the man who is supported to do exactly as he pleases, to the woman who would like a bit of the same in return.

Fuck off.

Wow. Gaslighting, incompetent and a man baby. I could not be with someone like this.