Unpaid nanny to DSD Part 2

His main job is a consultant so would earn a decent salary anyway. The side hustle was a way to spends hours at the gym, away from.his daughter and also the op.

Sounds like he checked out of his marriage a long time ago but liked the childcare and domestic servant services and sex when he asked for it.

What was the nature of "the business"? Was it PT? Or was it an MLM/pyramid scheme flogging supplements/protein powder etc etc at the gym? (MLMs never make money)

Well done op. When you get to that ‘indifference’ stage in any relationship and you’ve lost all respect there isn’t really any counselling that will get that back ( in my opinion).

New to this / these threads and only read op posts on this one. My conclusions:

• poor poor little girl.
• lazy feckless man (as per)
• strong successful caring op at end of tether

Leave the man obviously. You’re young enough and successful enough to make a new life. Have kids with a good man. The saddest thing in all of this is the little girl. My heart breaks for her having such a shit dad who basically ignores her. But sadly that’s not your problem. Hope the divorce lawyer helps - they always do.
💐

Absolutely this.

Or there were be documented proof. Unlikely as it has been a couple of days. And the business makes no money.

I'm not getting OW vibes from this either. Just self-importance for his preferences which include having a woman do his childcare while he pursues his own interests.
He prefers to be at the gym so that's what he thinks he's entitled to do.

He hasn't sold anything: he's just told whoever his business partner is that he needs to take over the reins and cover for him for an extended period because shit's going down and he can't do it anymore which doesn't sound nearly as self sacrificing as "I've sold the business" (for you).

Because it's the commonest cause of this type of behaviour.

Because this thread was started because he wasn't taking the child with him.

It's really not fair to jump on other posters who've only stated the obvious!

Besides which, do you really find it credible that these thoughts hadn't already crossed her mind? I'm glad it's clear to you that it's not the case here, but I don't think it's that clear to many of us.

Whichever way around, "selling" the business overnight is almost impossible not to be a lie. It had made no profit and was in the highly competitive "health and fitness" space. It was worth nothing and if it had been company sales don't happen overnight.

Hence the suspicion that it's bollocks. The business totally smelled of bollocks but it doesn't sound like an OW at all.
It was a hobby - ,"selling the business" possible consisted of giving 1 clients number to an actual personal trainer hence the speed with which it could be done.
@seasonofthebitch you will get through to the other side. You sound like a fantastic woman!

Him 'selling' a business thats non-profit making is clearly bollox. I suspect he said he would, or hes giving out feelers, or hes just spouting shit in desperation to OP. Doesn't mean hes having an affair!!!! Someone can talk nonsense but still not be having an affair. His child was dragged there with him for hours on end.

Op focus on what you know for sure, your feeling, how your marriage should be not what it is right now,
Try and have a good weekend op 💐

You are right. It's not like EastEnders where you can sell a legitimate business in the space of two days. That's the point.

Hence the suspicion that it's bollocks.

@seasonofthebitch I'm sorry you're going through this. You don't owe anyone here anything. This is your life and you're the one living it. You are strong and intelligent and know your mind. You sound genuinely caring and I believe you are a kickarse doctor. (Am a nurse myself, so very fussy.) Don't be dragged through the mire by conjecture on here. You're right that your life is not a soapie.

Why do people always do that? Almost gleefully jumping to the OW trope. Its clearly not the case here and she has enough on her plate fgs. Hes taking his daughter there all the time so its obviously not another woman, I think people like to stir that up to upset someone. Stop it! This is someones life, not an episode of Eastenders, shes upset enough as it is.

Just ignore OP. Hope you are doing ok and remaining strong. I suspect the sadness will kick in at some point but I hope you can keep your resolve.

A marriage break up is awful and its not going to be easy, but you will be ok.

I think the speed at which he sold the business gives the game away. Im almost certain there's another woman in the mix after that revelation.

I think it was just people suggesting how quickly he was able to drop the gym as an excuse for being shitty.

I don't think that it's really fair to blame posters for that. It surely must have crossed your mind, that number of trips to the gym? I think it's probably one of the commonest excuses for a couple of hours absence and coming home tired and freshly showered that there is.

Whatever, it's irrelevant now, you have broken the tie and your life will be your own again soon. Congratulations on that, it takes some guts.

I think the "business" was likely more of a selfish thing to spend time out of the house (and not parenting) under the guise of "networking" as the important businessman. From what you said in your previous thread it didn't make money so was basically a hobby - but calling it a "business" was a way of guilting you into accepting his selfishness.

Hope you are doing ok @seasonofthebitch and not falling for the couple of weeks of Model Husband and Father act you are no doubt being lovebombed by.

x

I don't think it's another woman, and I don't think anyone suggested it on your previous thread.

Op I don’t think it’s ow he took his dc to the gym so it’s not for sex. I think it’s to escape the responsibility which he cannot hack he’s a selfish man who puts himself first always your just sick of playing second fiddle to his lifestyle and now you have seen the light he’s panicking because he doesn’t want to lose the unpaid nanny but don’t dwell on it being another woman.

I mean... it's a bit weird that he immediately gave up his business! But who knows, OP.

I thought the business was just an excuse for going to the gym so he could avoid his kid and OP had to care for her.
He's panicking now his unpaid nanny is wanting out.