To go for a diagnosis for my child or not?

Please don’t call me naive.

i’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure any employers using perception rather that objective factors to refuse requests for reasonable adjustments would be behaving unlawfully…. Unless the law is changed. So I’m guessing most businesses that refused to implement an adjustment costing thousands for one person would be seen as behaving reasonably, as would adjustment requests that would result in an employee not being able to do large parts of their job.

I used to have an adjustment when I worked as a lifeguard. There was a kids pool game session that lasted half an hour and was twice a week. I found the noise from the equipment used in that session painful, so I never had to supervise that. If I was accidentally put on the rota to lifeguard that, all I had to do was swap that job with another lifeguard. That is an example of a totally reasonable adjsutment. I was still doing my job and lifeguarding for the same amount of time, just not that session.

Your comment about employers challenging diagnoses, would again, I would imagine be unlawful. My understanding is that employers are allowed to request occupational health assessments but they can’t just argue that the person’s diagnosis is wrong because it’s too inconvenient,

i am certain is is unlawful to refuse to hire someone because they need adjustments. Although of course, the employer could make up a lawful reason for not hiring.

There are employers out there who actively seek out neurodivergent employees because in addition to having difficulties that other people don’t have, we also have skills that others tend not to have. For example, DC2 would be an amazing detective - their ability to recognize faces that they have seen once briefly many years ago is staggering. They also have a truly impressive ability to judge character. There was a slot on a TV programme I saw about how GCHQ prefers to employ dyslexic people due to their superior pattern matching skills.

It would be a radical change if the law changes to allow employers to ask people about tbeir disabilities before hiring them. I would put that in the same category as allowing employers to ask young women if they planning to have a baby. (That used to happen to my mum’s generation routinely).

i think your comment about the laws being likely to change to reflect different types of disability sounds unlikely and impractical too. Somebody would have to go through millions of possible diagnoses and keep checking for newly discovered diagnoses to decide which ones were worthy and which ones weren’t. I think the way it is currently done is similar to the way PIP (disability benefit) works in that they consider how your condition impacts you, not so much the diagnosis.

Howvever, we live in crazy world and if we (God forbid) get a Trump-Style prime minister cum head of state who has enough power to do whatever they want, then who knows!

Yes, parents will automatically and rightly so respond to this kids as appropriate. My point is that in doing so, often subconsciously, or due to their divergence, they won’t realise how different life outside is for their kids, and are often left wondered if there’s any point in getting a diagnosis.

3 year wait or 3k to go private
should have started 3 years ago
but start now and she will know by the time she starts work it’s important to know so she can be supported in The work place

I didn't vote OP as my DS1 is very very similar to your DD in almost every way. I think he may be autistic too. He does have an ADHD diagnosis but it's not made any difference in real life to him. He's currently out of work and very depressed. I'm not sure what difference the diagnosis will make to your DD. All it's done for DS is make him feel more like a victim, can't do this or that because... But, I suppose it may help him get better treatment for his mental health if I can get him to go to a doctor.

I think you are very naive if you think it isn't going to change. It already is changing - employers are starting to distrust degrees and school qualifications and look at doing their own testing.

You have to remember that even now, employers do not need to accommodate if it affects not only the ability to do the job, but also the workplace or business indirectly, in a significant way. Those are not objective measures either, they very much depend on perception, and that is the perception of the employer.

Employers are extremely likely to begin challenging these kinds of diagnoses if they been having more effect which they are already are, as they are being more and more presented with demands for accommodation.

But what is potentially actually worse is that they begin to see employees like that as a risk if they can't get rid of them. The only way to solve that problem is to stop hiring those candidates.

It's also very possible that the laws and regulations around this could change, in fact I think it's likely that we will see some kinds of changes and including differentiating differernt kinds of disability.

One possibility could be a responsibility to disclose more medical diagnoses prior to hiring, much like insurers require. That's something that's been resisted in the past but I could easily see a greater push to it when taking on an employee potentially means taking on someone whose ability to do the job will be limited, and being stuck with that person.

The thing is many ASD traits are also pretty normal in the population. There are people on MN who will tell you your child must have it if they even have a few things on the list which are quite common in the general population. And that you are a neglectful parent if you don't.

They also seem to think people can't come to an understanding of who they are without a host of diagnostic labels.

Op, asking on here is not advisable. You will attract those who need, want a label. Not a bad thing but not for your daughter.

Mine has traits. Food, sensory, routine. However she will not need support in later life, only that which she gives herself to cope. I do worry she’ll be trapped in a shop one day with no one to open the door but she’ll figure it!

I mean - lots of people can't study well.

I can't study well, it meant I could not go farther in the field I wanted because it had heavy study and memorisation requirements. IN the end I went in a direction that was related and included many of the things I loved about that field.

The fact is the majority of the population probably isn't cut out for heavy academics and never has been.

It's really normal for kids and teens to be anxious. It's really normal for teens to be an emotional mess. The fact that she is growing out of it is also an indication that she's learning to manage her emotions and feelings, which is, again, a normal progression.

I suppose what I see is that of the legal rights that support anti discrimination are actively opposed by right wing parties and some of the comments from said parties have been antagonistic. They are all about cutting regulation and costs of business @Needlenardlenoo

You would have surely noticed any need for help long before this. It's soooooo evident when children are ND from an early age, especially from schools along with own observations.

Some can change and develop new traits, think pressure of social media to question if you're 'normal'.

I'm not disagreeing with that. There is a swing to the right (as there is across Europe). I don't think that inevitably means things will get worse and worse for the neurodiverse.

Mine had an ADHD assessment and the result was inconclusive. We were told this didn’t happen very often. We do have other diagnoses. We will revisit again in the future.

No. Take a good look at who is dominating the political agenda in this country and decide it will get better. I don’t think so

I did point out that the situation would change if the law changes. I didn’t make any other assumptions about what other people and politicians think. Although if our lawmakers were to decide that neurodivergence wasn’t a disability, Britain would be out of step with the rest of the industrialised world who, like
us, have protections enshrined in disability laws.

Do you not consider autism and ADHD to be disabilities? If not, why not?

And did you read my PP about how I ended up in bed for a few days with autistic shutdown because the GP’s appointment booking system malfunctioned and the receptionist refused to help me?

Labels help people make peace with issues they don’t see others as having. It helps people ask for help with issues others might comment on as odd. It helps people access tools that make life that bit easier. It’s never too late x

I don't think an under 18 can refer herself and even if she could, she's unlikely to be taken seriously without parents pushing. She's still a school student.

People/politicians aren't tremendously well informed or sympathetic now. We're hardly living in some kind of golden age.

I was diagnosed with adhd at 38 last year, I can't fully explain how helpful it has been. I've researched different ways to do things that I have struggled with, some of them have worked and others haven't. I give myself grace, I know when I need to rest rather than push through to be like everyone else.
It's also helping my son. If she chooses to have kids then it's always helpful to know.
I struggled massively at uni, nearly dropped out 3rd year out of the 4. If I'd had my diagnosis it coukd have really helped me, my self esteem and my anxiety and depression.
Becoming a mum hit me hard, peri menopause is hitting even harder.

It's not always just about school, it's about understanding ourselves. I would encourage her, just as i am my son.

40 years of thinking and knowing I was a failure at life.

You make an assumption that what will be taken into account under the law will stay the same. You also assume that people and politicians will always be sympathetic or that they will hold views that support anti discriminatory measures.

That is not correct. It may be one thing to have autistic traits. It may be a considerable disadvantage to have a diagnosis which is not NHS dependent in the future

She’s 17 so she can get her own diagnosis if she feels it will help

Sorry but I couldn't disagree with this more, apart possibly the sentiment that private diagnosss are not always trusted. But you can't blame people going for private providers (i did) because when my GP referred me for an NHS autism assessment, the waiting list was 4 years. I didn't even bother witb the NHS for my ADHD diagnosis.

I am, however, very confident in the quality of my providers - my autism assessors also do autism assessments for the National Autistic Society and my ADHD psychiatrist used to the the consultant in charge of adult ADHD for my local NHS mental health trust. She is one of the foremost ADHD psychiatrists in the UK and very well known. Many (or even most?) private diagnoses are perfectly respectable.

I do not think that employers will take a ''more discretionary approach" because tbey would be risking breaking the law if they didn't allow neurodivergent employees reasonable adjustments. Obviously it the law is changed, that js an entirely different matter.

Autism and ADHD are classed as disabiltiies for very good reason. I am what many people would refer to as "high functioning" but i have only been high functioning because I spent the first 55ish years of my life working extremely hard to appear normal. It became a way of life. Now in my late 50s, with a chronic illness, i no longer have the resources to hide my neurodivergent traits. I i regularly have to spend days in bed recovering from autistic shutdowns - inclluding this week. Please read my PP (very close to this one) for more details.

This is nonsense. There are plenty of jobs that require a medical, plenty that require you to drive and therefore disclose any medical diagnosis to your employer. There is another thread running at the moment asking this question and it’s almost unanimous that yes you have to disclose.