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Original poster

Hen party invitation

63 replies

Zobear · 17/01/2026 21:07

So I've been invited to a hen party for someone I've not seen in almost a year and not spoken to since june last year.
Do I go to the hen party?
Bit of a back story, there's no hard feelings or any falling out or anything of the sort, I think we've kind of just drifted apart as friends. I've recently had a baby (Nov just gone) got a text saying congrats but she's not asked to meet the baby or anything it was just the one message.
She sent me a picture of when she got engaged, I said congratulations and asked about the details, she didn't open or respond to me for about a week.
We all have busy lives etc, totally understand and it all works both ways.
But am I wrong for not really caring to go to the hen party? It's spring next year, apparently wedding is summer next year but I don't know any details on that either.
What would you do?
The MOH wants answers now for pricing etc. Realistically if I've not seen her for 2 years would I go....

OP posts:
INX · 17/01/2026 21:37

Zobear · 17/01/2026 21:16

Of course I felt put out they weren't interested in meeting my baby

Show quote history

Blimey

I'm glad my friends don't think like you as I've never been interested in meeting their babies really.

But no-one's ever got the hump about it or taken it personally.

Cocktailsandcoffee · 17/01/2026 21:35

If you want to go, go. If you don’t, don’t.

Personally I wouldn’t but it’s up to you. No need for any drama. ‘Thanks for the invitation but I can’t make it, hope you all have a lovely time’

Bigearringsbigsmile · 17/01/2026 21:20

Definitely say no thank you !
It's an invitation not a summons remember!

Catza · 17/01/2026 21:19

FuzzyWolf · 17/01/2026 21:09

You don’t need to have continuous contact with someone to be able to see them after a period of time and catch up where you left off, and enjoy their company.

This just reads that you want to leave the friendship in the past, possibly because you feel put out they weren’t more interested in your baby.

Completely agree with this. I haven't talked to my best friend since we went on holiday together last May. But I know for a fact that when I see her next (probably in spring!) we will sit in her kitchen and pick up exactly where we left off. We've been friends for 31 years.
P.S. I have never had any particular interest in her children. I gather she probably doesn't mind that and we both prefer to socialise without them.

Didimum · 17/01/2026 21:17

No. Most often it’s a tight knit group of bridesmaid friends trying to palm of costs of something elaborate onto 15-25 randoms. No thank you.

Original poster
Zobear · 17/01/2026 21:16

FuzzyWolf · 17/01/2026 21:09

You don’t need to have continuous contact with someone to be able to see them after a period of time and catch up where you left off, and enjoy their company.

This just reads that you want to leave the friendship in the past, possibly because you feel put out they weren’t more interested in your baby.

Of course I felt put out they weren't interested in meeting my baby

OP posts:
Original poster
Zobear · 17/01/2026 21:12

Helpwithdivorce · 17/01/2026 21:09

Do you know anyone else going? Will it be a nice catch up with old friends? If so then I might go. If i only knew the bride who I hadn’t seen in over a year then I probably wouldn’t

Not really, I know of a few of them but they're not my friends or friend group. So I'd kind of feel an odd one out. I've been to a thing before with some of the people and was mostly left by myself feeling like a plum lol

OP posts:
SunMoonandChocolate · 17/01/2026 21:12

I wouldn't bother OP, it's likely to mean a lot of expense, and you're clearly not that close anymore if you haven't seen each other in almost a year and not spoken since June of last year. She also doesn't sound that interested in your baby, so I think you might feel a bit like a fish out of water if you do go.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 17/01/2026 21:10

There’s tons of people that I’ve not seen in a year that I’d love to spend time with. I think that it’s really easy when so busy to not connect - then it feels too long and awkward.

If she was a good friend, to me it, would a great way to reconnect.

I was the first out my friends to have children and to be honest, I felt we drifted apart because in different times of our lives. BUT id definitely be coming to their hen do and wedding.

FuzzyWolf · 17/01/2026 21:09

You don’t need to have continuous contact with someone to be able to see them after a period of time and catch up where you left off, and enjoy their company.

This just reads that you want to leave the friendship in the past, possibly because you feel put out they weren’t more interested in your baby.

GiveafuckGertrude · 17/01/2026 21:09

Only go if you think it would be worth your while, in the sense of having a good time. I like hen dos so I almost always go on them when I am invited, but I don’t enjoy baby showers so I don’t go to them. It’s your time and money!

Helpwithdivorce · 17/01/2026 21:09

Do you know anyone else going? Will it be a nice catch up with old friends? If so then I might go. If i only knew the bride who I hadn’t seen in over a year then I probably wouldn’t

craigth162 · 17/01/2026 21:08

I wouldn't go