Hen party invitation

It doesn't matter who you know in the group, you're all there for the same event so will get on I'm sure. The main thing is do you want to catch up with your friend?

We all lose touch, it's about how meaningful the friendis, which doesn't sound as if it is. Xx

This.

There’s no right or wrong, should or shouldn’t here. If you want to go, go. Otherwise refuse politely.

I got an invite to a hen night for an old friend I hadn’t seen in about two years. We had been close but had a weird awkward fall out and were only polite.

I think she invited me because people would comment on me not being there. It was easier for her to tell people she invited me but I couldn’t go. Same for the wedding.

Fair enough, Op. She sounds like she doesn't appreciate your friendship so now might be the right time to withdraw. Not going to her hen should make your feelings clear.

Do you want to go?If the ans is yes,then go. If the ans is no,don't go. Simple.

I wouldn't go
But there again I wouldn't go to one anyway.
Socializing with my mates is great, doing some weird things around a friends marriage is not

The fact you have to ask shows me you don't want to go and that is absolutely fine.
I wouldn't bother either.

No, I wouldn’t go to the hen or the wedding from everything you have said. She sounds like someone I would be polite and friendly with when our paths crossed but otherwise not someone I would spend my time/money/energy on.

So she basically uses you for when she needs you but is not interested in reciprocity. I would back away as well OP. You don't get points in heaven for being a mug. Focus on your family and your friends that value you.

I've recently had a baby

I wouldn't be going....

40+ people on a hen do proves this is just about making up numbers so she looks popular. As you say, you barely see her and she takes little interest in you. It will be the same for a large chunk of the women on that list!

Op just say you can’t commit with not long having the baby so would leave it as to not let anyone down near the time. Op there is no point going if someone isn’t interested in your life generally also it will probably turn out to be really expensive so I wouldn’t if I was you.

I’d only consider going if you have any intentions to build up a possible friendship again after losing touch for a couple of years. I think her congratulating you on your baby and her thinking of you enough to send a photo of her engagement news means the door is open slightly her end. She has probably put your name down as well for her hen which is why you’ve had an invite.

If it were me I’d say no IF I was happy and content with this person no longer being a big part of my life anymore and I just didn’t want to go. I’d consider going if there was part of me that wanted to become friends again x

By not going you'd be essentially ending the relationship. People get busy with life but it's nice to know your friends are still there and considering you. She may not have been all that excited to meet your new baby but how excited have you been about things in her life? Were you excited to meet her partner for instance? Have you been eagerly texting and asking about wedding prep? A baby doesn't trump all in terms of life events especially when it's not your first.

Hen parties can get expensive. I would consider, would you spend 50-200 on her? If the answers is no then you shouldn’t spend that on a hen party either

I was about to say this. I knew a wealthy woman invited to a hen and then expected to pay for drinks when she was tea total. Did not work out how the hen expected as she was feisty 🤣

Bit weird...

But if you dont want to go, dont.

With everything you've said, I definitely wouldn't bother! Hanging out with 39 people who aren't a friend doesn't sound much fun anyway?

I would simply be vague at this point and say that you can’t make a decision about over a year away due to your baby being small and not knowing where you will be then with leaving them. It’s honest but not a complete snub

Don't go. You've clearly drifted apart and you are carrying a grudge about her not being interested in your baby.

Well then it's easy. Save your time and your money by declining then.
I don't do hen parties at all. I hate group settings and I don't have the cash to spare. My friends know this so no hard feelings.

She’s desperate for numbers. Tell her no.

You shouldn't feel obliged to go if that's your question. Go if that's the kind of events you like, it might be a good opportunity to reconnect and have a fund weekend. I don't think it will be awkward, there is usually quite a few people who don't know each others.

But if it's not your thing, then decline and that's ok.

This

I wouldn't go if I were you. Sounds like the friendship is over. All of my good friends made an effort when I had a baby. Even the ones who clearly weren't arsed about the baby. You meet, check out the whole new human your friend actually created, check she's OK and not depressed or overwhelmed. If she's in a baby bubble and can't talk about anything else and that's not your bag you don't meet up again for a while. People generally make less fuss over later babies.