I am currently going through a nasty break up with my partner of 15 years.
He was emotionally abusive to wards myself and our kids and also physically abusive towards the kids.
Going through court currently and ex partner only allowed 2 hours supervised contact at contact center and 2 phone calls a week.
I have a lovely childminder ( older lady) she has looked after my kids for the last 7 years. Before and after school when i am at work and whole days during school holidays. She quite frankly is a godsend, flexible, great with the kids, loves nearby. She does almost feel like an extra grandmother.
My problem is that my ex partner mother has asked my son for childminders phone number to be able to speak to her. She also spoke to her when my son rang his grandma while at the childminder and asked for information on my other child who was at hospital at the time.
It is normal for my kids grandma to give a couple of token gifts to the childminder previously to us separating. I am talking £10 max, or a homemade jam etc.
This christmas she send a usual giftbag through the kids at supervised contact and my childminder told me there was cash in it for "a nice meal out" .
My ex partners mum has NEVER done this before.
I feel unhappy and unsettled about this.
It is MY childminder. I found her, employed her, sort out her hours and have ALWAYS paid her fully from my salary. My ex partners mum has nothing to do with her. ( my ex also contacted my childminder over christmas and new year)
Their grandma has my phone number and can contact me about the kids if she wants.
I have a non molestation order in place against my ex, there is /was a lot going on. It is making me feel anxious.
I have spoke to my childminder and told her it makes me feel uncomfortable. She listened and agreed but i also dont want to make her feel uncomfortable and under pressure
AIBU to feel this way/ that this isnt ok?