My dad has a pathological need to be the centre of attention

This

My MIL is similar - called us in the middle of last night with a joint pain that had suddenly come on to ask DH to drive an hour and a half from our house to take her to hospital. He says she's not that bad - quite cheery with the docs and called 3 neighbours first thing to get them to call FIL to make sure he's ok (FIL hates phone calls). DH stopped her making any more calls as none were necessary.
MIL is over 80 she'd be better off in the comfort of her own home taking pain killers to see if it will ease rather than heading to the hospital in the very early morning but there's something psychological going on there- she's literally never out of the hospital/doctors though in seemingly good health and seems put out if anyone else is unwell - mini munchhsussens I reckon.

It can be too much thinking time on their hands and no purpose such as a job or volunteering or a daily purposeful activity.

The temptation to spoof the family chat with fake and grotesque images as well as fake ailments would be irresistible.

He's not foing to stop so maybe get the others to agree to a new chat that doesn't include him so that he can't hijack your normal every day comments with his imagined illnesses.

There is absolutely no way I'd still be in contact with a parent who called me 'an evil little bitch'.

Unless he has only just started behaving like this because of some cognitive decline or impairment, I'd give him a very wide berth. He sounds abusive and completely self-centred.

I have a friend like this. I love her to bits, she's perfect in every way apart from this health/illness competitiveness so I'm not about to defriend her.

I have some fun with it though. I wind her up, say "OMG you better get yourself to A and E right now that sounds serious" and "are you sure it's flu? it could be bubonic plague" She still hasn't cottoned on that i'm taking the piss or if she has, she doesn't care.

Anyway, have some fun with it, if for no other reason than to amuse yourself.

Also bullshit about “older people”.
DM isn’t 60 yet and has been like this my entire life.
Fucking exhausting.

I know, right?

I could list the other “diagnoses” (I’ve literally lost count) but that occassion really pissed me off- not least because I’m a single parent, get one holiday with DS a year, and the holiday together was very much against my better judgement.

😂'diagnosed with a cold' 😂

My mother was like this.
No matter what you had she had worse or the same.
I have no contact with her now not done for years.

Hears a few things.
Scratched you're finger i scratched mine the other day, and a long story with it.
I have headache ive had one all night.
My child has a broken arm, I broke mine years ago I still have pain with it, long story to come.
I have a stomach bug or period pain, oh I can barely move with mine my stomach been playing up for weeks, incoming long story.
I think it's main person syndrome.

My MIL was the same, a sickly child and acts like it’s a miracle she’s alive and well at 85.

Dh was sick and she’s now has a similar complaint! I will have to avoid her as my tolerance is so low for this, I can be quite rude which makes me look bad.

will you PLEASE lay off the "older people" bullshit.

Cut off the flow....if your dad says he is unwell, respond with "that's a shame" and change the subject. It is very tiring and boring so don't give it house room.
I'm sure your DM would let you know if it was genuinely serious. If he can't attend a family function because he is giving notice of intended sickness, just repeat "shame!"

My DM is like this too, but to a lesser degree. If I ever mention me or one of my DC are ill, she will very soon have something that needs our attention, or will regale us with tales of how she's had the exact same illness at some point, even though she's never mentioned it previously.

She's in her 80s and was the youngest of five. Always hurting herself as a child and babied by her siblings. Maybe it comes from that and the attention she received. I tend to respond very little to her when she does it, so as not to feed into her attention seeking (I can usually tell when she's really ill).

I always wanted to tell ex-MIL that regaling us with tale after tale of what is (not!) wrong with her, is really, really boring. It is NOT an interesting topic of conversation, and why they don’t get this, is beyond me.

The one-upmanship is the worst though. It’s as if someone else being ill triggers something in them; a deep fear/panic that someone else is getting attention, and they are not. Remember me!!!

Exhausting, as PP said.

Solidarity!! She fell over last year, just a simple slip and land on your bottom- the drama and looking around to see if people would fluster around her. I did say 'do you have to be so dramatic'...in annoyance.

My young daughter has just had a major operation and now lives with two medical tubes etc- my Mum now thinks she needs these/ostomy.

I think his hypochondria and narrssism is the least of it, calling his daughter ' an evil, little bitch,,,' when you dare to question him shows who you are dealing with. I would take as little to do with this nonsense as possible.

Got a sister in law just like this..
I was sitting with my dying mum and I was having chest pains (turns out it was pleurisy) and I didn't mention it to anyone because in stead of my brother sitting calmly whilst my dear mum slipped away she would have turned it into a huge drama about her having chest pains! Just as she did when my Dad died. My other lovely sil had an actual heart attack day's before my dad was admitted to the hospice. Attention seeking sil had to drag my brother to a&e. She's an attention seeker b*h.

My mother does this, I grey rock any talk of illnesses. She constantly talks about her friends ailments...I just walk out the room or change the topic.

It's draining.

Main character syndrome.
My MIL is very like this, If I said I was in Tenerife she would have been in elevenarife!
I would protect your self from his outbursts by not pushing back. Just do the bare minimum and don’t give it a second thought when you’re not there.

Does your mum pull
him on it? Does he bully your mum?

I think it's quite common in older people - I guess some have much less busy lives after retirement and more health problems so that becomes the focus of their attentions. Both my parents were a bit like this and it became almost competitive between them as to who was suffering the most!

Honestly though OP, if my dad had called me an evil little bitch I probably wouldn't be having much contact with him again, if any!