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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu for feeling upset tonight at DH and DB for being a pair of unhelpful gits?

208 replies

Chinsupmeloves · 16/01/2026 22:26

Today, I was out at work, did the shopping, while DH as usual wfh. I took the kids round to DB's after dinner and they had a great time. Came home about 9pm and I had forgotten my handbag amidst all the bags I was carrying plus walking our dog.

At this point I was tired, was annoyed at myself so asked if DB would walk half way to meet me and bring it. Would also have been nice if DH had offered to meet half way but wasn't expecting it. It's literally 10 mins and that little act of kindness would have meant a lot. But nope, my fault, neither could be bothered, so I went out again in the dark alone (not that this bothers me) to get my bag.

Just felt so disappointed in both of them. DH has had the whole day wfh (not a stressful one) and evening to himself and DB is between jobs. I, on the other hand, left the house at 7am, barely got a break at work, then went back out again with DC and eventually wanted to relax.

Would it really have been that much for them to leave the house they had been in all day and night to help me out?

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 16/01/2026 22:56

Arlanymor · 16/01/2026 22:52

To be fair, your DB hosted you for the evening and fed you and your children. And you forgot your bag. I don’t blame him.

Poor thing! It’s her brother. Mine, would have definitely moaned. But he’d get it to me.

WinterSunglasses · 16/01/2026 22:55

So the next thing your husband asks you for or asks you to do for him, don't. And when he mentions it say you couldn't be bothered, or however he put it when he refused to help. I would guess he is used to a lot more of this than he realises. Kindness goes both ways.

Arlanymor · 16/01/2026 22:52

To be fair, your DB hosted you for the evening and fed you and your children. And you forgot your bag. I don’t blame him.

Snoringsighthound · 16/01/2026 22:49

Did you ask or just hope? Sometimes it's thoughtless but no more.

pizzaHeart · 16/01/2026 22:47

Why didn’t you send your DH to your brother to collect your bag?

CatsSleepFatandWalkThin · 16/01/2026 22:45

I know that my husband would have immediately gone to the brother’s house to retrieve it. He simply would automatically do this.

Tootyfilou · 16/01/2026 22:38

… lost half my post then.
Please don’t allow these useless men useless men to be role models for your children.
I would be having a very serious conversation serious conversation with DH, and not continuing with the current family dynamics
for another day! You can change even if your feckless husband doesn’t.

Tootyfilou · 16/01/2026 22:33

Why are you allowing your DH to treat you like this?
You are martyring your self while allowing him to be a lazy selfish prick.
Your brother sounds as bad. Please