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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this normal at nursery or are they not looking after DD?

58 replies

Ye100 · 16/01/2026 16:03

DD recently started to get it with potty training. She’s 3. Nursery tell me she will do a poo in the potty or in the little toilets and always seem really happy with her progress. But every day her underwear is soiled! Not a tiny bit but most of the underside to her pants. Is this just usual
for toddlers? Also, should she be wiping herself or should they be doing it? They claim to do it but then DD sometimes says things that suggest she’s been doing it. First time mum and single parent so I appreciate any words of wisdom!

OP posts:
MidWayThruJanuary · 16/01/2026 16:23

Surely they must be able to smell that she is soiled?

Tiredofwhataboutery · 16/01/2026 16:22

Ye100 · 16/01/2026 16:12

What age should they be wiping themselves?

I think they need help for the first few months before they are reliable wipers whether at 2 or 3.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 16/01/2026 16:20

We had this once, what was happening was they went to the loo then did a poor job of wiping then they’d stand up and the nursery worker would gently waft a baby wipe over their buttocks. Then they’d go sit down and skid mark central. I think they wanted to avoid being rough or any potential accusations. I would say and either they can do a bit of flossing with a wipe or get them to bend over a bit to make checking easier.

Original poster
Ye100 · 16/01/2026 16:12

What age should they be wiping themselves?

OP posts:
itispersonal · 16/01/2026 16:09

I’d mention it, she may she going to the toilet on her own and not saying she’s had a poo! Hence her being soiled! If you let them know they should check that she’s clean during the day!

I say that as someone who works in a school nursery.

Original poster
Ye100 · 16/01/2026 16:06

I get really anxious mentioning anything to nursery. i don’t want to offend the staff looking after her. She doesn’t seem to get that sore but obviously when she gets in I have to change her and soak the pants etc and it’s such a faff. I will say something then. Maybe to the management?

OP posts:
Catlady724 · 16/01/2026 16:05

Definitely suggests they’re not helping her wipe, I wouldn’t be happy if it’s a regular thing as she’ll get sore. Have you spoken to them about it? I would mention it and be clear that she needs help wiping.

Pineappleice43 · 16/01/2026 16:04

They should be making sure she's clean. She won't be able to reach properly at 3. She shouldn't be left in soiled pants. The tiniest mark and my child's nursery change her. It could make her skin sore too so you need to mention it to nursery