I have always had a tumultuous relationship with my sister. She is diagnosed with depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and more recently, autism and ADHD.
She has always been extremely unpredictable and her emotional regulation is non-existent. She can go from 0-100 in an instant. This has lead to her having very poor relationships throughout her life and finding herself in trouble with the police and social services at times (e.g. she has destroyed property belonging to other people and trashed the house, leading to concerned neighbours reporting her). She spends a lot of time in bed.
The most difficult trait to deal with is her persecution complex. She believes that everyone else is wrong, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. This means I am constantly treading on eggshells. She only has me, our mum and her husband in her life. We all have to agree with what she says and does. She says that everyone in her life has abused her. Our late father, all of her exes, her friends (who one-by-one have had nothing to do with her) are all apparent abusers. She has not been in employment for many years because employers cannot cope with her. Therapy doesn’t work as she is manipulative and deceptive, she either doesn’t tell the truth, or, once they cotton on and suggest she may be the issue, she will decide the therapist is crap or isn’t ’trauma informed.’
The latest situation is she has cut off her teenage son. She began to bombard him with messages about his dad, accusing him of all sorts of horrendous abuse. Her son, my nephew, who has had to see this unfold many times over the years, does not believe her and she has now decided her son is also abusive for not believing what she is saying about his dad. She has also made it clear to me and my mum that we are also to have little to do with our nephew, and if we were to have a relationship with him, she would see this as a huge disloyalty and that we are not believing her about her trauma and abuse suffered at the hands of her ex.
AIBU to finally cut her off? We’re both in our late 40s.