Am I being an overbearing parent or is this normal for 8 weeks in secondary school ?

This is not normal & it’s very worrying.
my steps for a state school would be to involve governors- what is the equivalent in an independent school? Failing that, even Ofsted!
as for the cyber bullying- you can make the police aware. The fact the school are saying they can’t get involved with that one, explain to the police. I know they 100% do take cyber bullying seriously.

this school sounds terrible, & mainly for the sake of your daughter, but also of other pupils, there needs to be an inspection of their safeguarding policies!

Someone up thread mentioned describing to staff how their colleagues at a national newspaper would frame it - the spectre of the press (can be local) can really work wonders, in the context of the crackdown on online bullying and harassment as well you might want to point out that it's likely to get a fair bit of traction as a story.

I'm so sorry for your daughter going through this, it is appalling, the head sounds completely useless. Unfortunately one downside of independent schools is the fact they don't have to comply with regulation to the same extent, therefore some staff who actually couldn't make it in terms of compliance in the state sector end up there by default.

Ask for a copy of the school complaints procedure. As you have been quite rigorous in what has happened so far, you can go straight to making a formal complaint about the HT and their inactivity.

Saying that they have no control of what happens outside school is utter hogwash. You should be able to find the name of your Chair of Governors on the school website, your complaint goes to them, it may be that you will need to leave it at the school reception, look at the timeframe and make them stick to it. Bullet point the timelines, your asks and the inactions, and state what you would consider to be a reasonable outcome.

Is this BH? Only a guess based on where you are & description. If so, it might be harder for them to remove the problem girl but at the same time they should be taking some sort of disciplinary measures, even if it's happening out of school - their own policy on Online Safety confirms that cyber bullying will be treated as a school behaviour issue.

You need to just move her school, dont let them make you feel like its a normal thing that needs working through.
If you had a friend in a workplace like this would you advise her to stay for the next 5 years, or to look for a new job? And thats comparing to an adult who has already hopefully formed their self esteem and resilience.
Teenage years are vital for building self image and confidence, especially for girls. She needs to be moved somewhere where she can have a fresh start, recover from that and put it behind herself.
Start her at a new school, within a few weeks invite some of the girls over for a sleepover or after school to hang out and put that horrible school and the bullies into the past.

I did this with mine in yr 7 op ,,kept him off till they sorted it .
He's been punched and was suicidal ,pastoral care where extremely concerned about him I said he won't be back till the other little shit is dealt with properly.
Took them 5 weeks .

Retired secondary (state) headteacher here. It's absolute nonsense for this headteacher to claim they cannot sanction a pupil for cyber bullying. They can and they should. Frankly, if I were you I'd take it to the police and tell them the school refuse to take action.

This is a BAD independent school and you should move your child!
Mine go to an independent school and the slightest whiff of bullying was dealt with swiftly and decisively.

Your poor child. I am so sorry for her.

That's an appalling response from the school. They should be ashamed of themselves. I would move her. You need to protect your childs wellbeing. She doesn't have to put up with that.

If someone was threatening to “jump” your daughter I’d report to police
Also if the head teachers says this is normal year 7 stuff then it’s not a year 7 or school I would want my children in.

You need to escalate to the governors formally following the complaints process. You may wish to tell other parents facing similar issues that you are doing this.

The head’s approach is appalling.

Not normal at my kids comprehensive that has a very mixed intake and in special measures

Have you read the thread?

Ah well, money talks you see. This is my issue with private schools - in a state s hool, it's all about the child. In a private school, it's all about the parents. When a safeguarding issue comes up, the private school protects its income.

In what world.is this fairly normal??

The school is incompetent. At DC school (independent) they come down on kids like a ton of bricks with nasty social media stuff, whether it’s happened during school/term time or not. Saying that their hands are tied is absolute bollocks.

Talk to the governors. Given the pressure independent schools are under to attract pupils, they need to know you’re not going to take it on the chin and if people start talking about their inaction, their numbers will go down. I had similar with dd and ended up taking her out, found out others had done the same, and now that school is known for its terrible culture

My son went to an independent school and this seemed commonplace between a lot of the girls who were in a clique, the boys either got on or didn’t but didn’t have any of the issues like the girls. Definitely speak to the school, they were usually quick to resolve any of these issues. Your poor daughter, hope it gets sorted.

Sometimes they back off in the 2nd year, won’t help your situation. I know you can’t just take her out for to the funding situation, school is survival for some kids.

From the NSPCC website:

A whole-school approach is key to preventing and tackling bullying (Department for Education (DfE), 2018a; Welsh Government, 2019). This includes bullying that happens outside school and online (cyberbullying).
Schools should work to create an inclusive and supportive learning environment where children, young people and adults treat each other with respect. As part of this, staff and volunteers should challenge inappropriate behaviour or language and not dismiss it as ‘banter’ (DfE, 2018a).

Here's the link, you have to click through the pages to find the above text: https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/bullying-cyberbullying#skip-to-content

Also on one of their pages: Contact the NSPCC Helpline on tel:08088005000 0808 800 5000 or by emailing [email protected]. Our child protection specialists will talk through your concerns with you and give you expert advice.

I can't quite work out - is this an independent mainstream or specialist school? Sorry if you have said.
I'm coloured by our experience at an independent specialist school that we are in the process of moving our DS from.
We had to ask children to be moved from his taxi for safeguarding reasons - one was so much older than him (he was 10, other child 14) that they shouldn't have been together at all.
A teacher has been convicted of child abuse and this is the same throughout the sector (multiple schools have evidence of child abuse).
The LEA will have to pay if they approve another place - they don't pay up front for the whole year in the same way parents do, I don't think, but that's not your problem. In fact in our case they wanted to move DS to this school immediately when the school said they'd take him, as they wanted the place in his previous school for a child who had to move urgently.

So inexplicably sad that some people pay schools money and this happens to their children. In fact many children in the indie sector are traumatised - from bullying, sexual assault, drugs etc. - in indie schools and end up being ideal candidates to be leaders of the country (sad fact). There is absolutely no reason for this to continue - and I definitely won't be paying money for this.

TAKE THE CHILD OUT NOW. This level of bullying is not normal and the school not putting a stop to it shows that they are incompetent AND don't give two hoots about your daughter. Honestly being bullied is the worst, just remove her.

Year 7 and year 8 have been bad so far for us

My son is Year 10, and has never experienced anything like this, in his state secondary school. We all like to think a private independent school, would be better, but sadly, that's not always the case and in fact can be worse. Your daughter is experiencing bullying, both at school and online.

I understand the school can't sanction the girl for something that has happened outside school. However, they can sanction the girl for any bullying that has taken place inside school.

I see that you are in an awkward position as the LEA fund your daughter's education at the school, due to her disabilities. Moving her to another school isn't quite so straightforward.

I think you need to email the safeguarding lead and ask them what steps are being put into place, to ensure your child feels safe at school.