Am I being an overbearing parent or is this normal for 8 weeks in secondary school ?

This is why I can't wait for under 16s to be off social media.

Hi just wanted to offer a few tips mom who has removed a child from mainstream special school and independent special school. I see you have mentiond ehcp. I would be doing a Subject Access Request (SAR) requesting all recording including complaints made by you or others and attendance ect. should get all meeting notes about the situation. I would also ask for a copy of there behaviour policy. As by law they should have one and surey there will be something about online issuies. Then u have proof u have complained and what the outcome was . Behaviour policey may show they are not following this . And its also against semh when a childs mental health is been affected so this school is not provideing aproprite support and adaptions for your child and this is grounds for your ehcp worker and you to find another school and show all information to ehcp they will invite school for medication with you and if they are not willing to put tuff in place then you request work sent home (if you can do this) untill new school is found. All emails sent you have not had replies to is also evidence they are ignoring you. Without know what is in your childs ehcp but im sure there will be lots in there that they are not been able to fufil because of this and there for they are not fufilling ehcp hope some of this may help. Some schools/ teachers try to get away with what they can because they can evan tho rules state they can inforce rules when a child is been online bullying . Evan if you have to from now on screen shot all online activities and print it out . And anything threatening they can and should call police to the premises while you are there . Stay strong and push. U are not overbearing you are protecting your child. And asking for basic needs like existing without fear.

I am a teacher and this is not normal behaviour. If it normal there I would remove your daughter immediately. Your poor wee daughter is being badly bullied. Please ask the school for their bullying procedure, ask to meet with head of year an log any and all incidents that occur. These days we are pretty hot on bullying and to see it still goes on is awful. I’m so sorry she is being treated like this

As this is a funded EHCP placement you need to request that the LA attend the meetings with the school and yourself.
All schools (independent ones too) have to have anti bullying policies and social media policies, they don't get to shrug their shoulders and pretend it's not happening.
Put in a written complaint to the governors, cc the LA. This now needs to be a formal complaint as the LA are likely funding other children as well. At minimum you need an urgent review with the LA as her placement is breaking down.

That is absolutely disgusting.

Dp t send your daughter in on Monday.

And the school are absolutely useless.

Just because it hasn't happened on school ground doesn't mean they cant get involved.

Absolutely disgusting from the child. And bloody useless response from the school.

Tell the school either they deal with it or you will reported it to the police as cyber bullying and then they can deal with the police

Not sure if I am replying right- but if DD is disabled and funded does she have an EHCP? Could you link this to not meeting her needs. I would be speaking to the LA if they are funding/ SENCO in school to link this to her needs not being met.
This is absolutely not acceptable behaviour and I would be alarmed that this is being flagged as normal- I am a teacher having taught in mainstream secondary/ independent sector and also SEN.
please check out their bullying policy and other policies you could reference- parent communications / other relevant - all should be available to view in their website and may take a bit of reading but you can contact governors if they are not following their own policies.
hope this helps

This is horrific to read. How does DD feel? My only advice is to put her feelings above all else. I used to battle DS to get him into school some days. I soon realised that I need to be on his side and in trying to force him in, I was ultimately saying to him that his attendance and education was more important than his safety and feelings. Listen to her needs, and then act upon that. I’d also recommend any actions to be taken with/by the school be communicated/confirmed via email. This means in a worst case scenario that you have evidence to show the LA if you need to move schools, justify absence etc.

No.. ask that the bully is moved the bully will feel more powerful if she gets this innocent girl moved. The bully will brag to her friends ,and the friends will pander to her more. Do not feed/reward the bully. Schools are very slow to talk to the parents of the bully. Its not a personality clash, its a bully.

I have, and I still think the school is unwilling to come down hard on the other girl for fear of her parents removing her (and thus their income stream). I realise the OP also pays fees via the LA, but they know, as she does, that it's not quite so easy for her to withdraw.

That speaks volumes as to how little they intend to support your daughter.

Keep evidence of any messages etc and tell the school if they do not take any action you will be reporting to the police. Then do it.

OP come on!

Do NOT remove DD (even if you keep her home for some days) - I think that's what the school wants. I am certain you will not get a second opportunity to get the LA to pay for private provision, and that the alternative she ends up with will be worse.

This is a one-girl issue - as soon as the school takes responsibility and acts, it will once again be the best environment for DD.

So - Tell the SMT that you will not be removing her.

Challenge the SMT's assertion that cyberbullying being unsanctionable - esp if as another poster said it goes against their actual policy!

Tell the SMT you will be going to the police with the online threat to physically 'jump' DD, along with the information that the school have washed their hands.

Escalate immediately to board of governors - do not wait for the SMT to come back to you before doing this. Use the strategy oulined in my previous post - as well as being very concerned about the pastoral failure to protect your DD and its longterm impact on her mental health, you're very surprised they are not more alarmed by the reputational and statutory risk in failing to enact their own policy on bullying, or to meet national safeguarding standards, especially in relation to an LA-funded child,

KEEP AT IT. You really do have a duty to fight for your DD and you know that even though the school have revealed their hand, and their sliminess, this is still the best place for her and she deserves the opportunities it will bring.

First thing on Monday go into the school and tell them to sort it or you are contacting Ofsted.
This is not ok and I am so sorry that this happening.

I think a few people have said to escalate to the governors and report this to the police. If the head won’t take action and the school are expecting your dd to appease this child because they are refusing to get involved, I don’t think you have an option.

So them saying they can't do anything about cyber bullying is I believe incorrect. The below is from AI (but the paid for version so very likely to be correct).

The Education and Inspections Act 2006 gives headteachers the specific legal power to regulate the conduct of pupils even when they are not on school premises. Furthermore, statutory guidance (Keeping Children Safe in Education) requires schools to have safeguarding policies that address "child-on-child abuse," which explicitly includes cyberbullying occurring outside of school hours.

A school risks legal liability if they ignore cyberbullying in the following scenarios:

• Discrimination: If the bullying is based on race, sex, disability, or religion, it may fall under "Title IX" (US) or the "Equality Act 2010" (UK), requiring the school to take immediate action to stop the harassment.
• Safeguarding: If the bullying involves threats of self-harm, physical violence, or the sharing of "nudes" (illegal content), the school has a mandatory duty of care to report this to social services or the police.
• Impact on Learning: If the victim is too afraid to come to school, their grades are dropping, or they are being ostracized in class because of the online posts, the "disruption" is now occurring on school grounds.

The head sounds useless, I would escalate and complain to the chair of governors and go into lots of detail about the head making it worse by disclosing all the details. If that doesn't work try the independent schools commission and then the DfE. They absolutely should be addressing bullying and taking if much more seriously.

I don't know about independent schools, but in state schools online stuff that happens outside of school is/can/ and will be dealt with in school. One of our leaders is always having to deal with stuff like this.

If the school aren't doing anything then I'd move her school they are doing a really poor job and your having to pay for it.

Totally not overreacting and from personal experience, this kind of "low level" bullying with little school intervention is why my autistic daughter is now terrified of other teenagers and has been in burnout for over a year.
Most schools have a separate social media policy, which might be worth reading. From what I understand, it should be similar to work social media policies, in that they should be able to get involved as it directly involves another pupil. Do you think school are hoping you will remove her because they were forced to take her, despite her physical disability? If so, absolutely seek advice regarding discrimination. And definitely go to the police as well - if nothing else, it should force school to take it more seriously. Presumably you are unaware of the other girls SEN needs, so it may be that this is caused by social communication issues and school/parents are actively working on this, however it is no excuse for your daughter feeling unsafe and I'd be fuming that they are trying to get her to speak to the other girl!

This