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AIBU?

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Am I being an overbearing parent or is this normal for 8 weeks in secondary school ?

280 replies

2026sendhelp · 16/01/2026 11:58

DD started secondary school In September - an independent school.

In 8 weeks of being there the following happened. — was not allowed to play with the air hockey table as was told by the other girl she makes the rules. —was told Mutiple different lies about other children saying things about her like “ your the only one they don’t like etc
~ told she wasn’t allowed on the group what’s app because none of her peers knew who she was - she’s invisible and then encouraged to take a photo of herself for the girl to send the boys in which she was told by the girl nope they still have no idea who you even are.
-told that the school therapist and disclosed information to the other student about daughter not belonging in a form.
~public social media posts calling her a b* h** and lil beg with a further post referencing her friends ( not in same school ) wanting to Jump her.

we were told that this a fairly normal to happen in year 7

my DD is terrified to go to school every morning - she is a passive young 12 year old who has no so much missed a homework deadline.

OP posts:
Rumplestrumpet · 16/01/2026 12:04

I confess I don't understand what you mean about the counsellor but I'm so sorry OP this sounds awful! Doesn't sound normal to me - have you spoken to the school about these incidents?

ShetlandishMum · 16/01/2026 12:03

Talk to the school. Secondary school is rough but an independent school should do better.

Meadowfinch · 16/01/2026 12:03

Report it all to the school, her form tutor and the head of safeguarding, in writing. They cannot do anything about it if they don't know. Provide as much detail as possible.

If nothing is done immediately, call the Head teacher, explain the issue and ask for the school anti-bullying policy.

My ds is at independent school. He had an issue in year 8, I reported it and it was dealt with the next day.

LeafHunter · 16/01/2026 12:02

Have you spoken to the head of year/pastoral leads? I’ve worked in a lot of schools and what she is experiencing can be common but should not happen and schools are usually good at cutting it out immediately.

Marmaladegin · 16/01/2026 12:00

No you are not being overbearing. Your daughter is being bullied