To ask you how long you waited before visitors

Sorry, I should have clarified. I've made a few posts on this thread tonight. DH & I are doing dry January. We usually have a few white wines with dinner on a Friday & Saturday so it's keeping me occupied. Off to bed now 😂

You’re brave having your brother there !

Sorry I don't understand the 'still on this thread' bit?

I had visitors the next day in the hospital on both children, and the next day at home, looking back I didn’t enjoy it or feel comfortable, I was sore and bleeding, I went along with it.
If I had my time again, I’d prefer to have not had visitors. Stress on top.

Still on this thread 😂 That's amazing although please don't say your 'only' a stepmum. It's a very special position to be in especially if you take the role seriously.

We were invited into the delivery suite, and I'm only a stepmum to one of the parents. It was the honour of my life.

Oh my god yes! Funny how they’re more than happy for visitors when they want baby sitting.. sorry your kid doesn’t know me because you let us at arms length for 2.5 years, don’t feel I can baby sit now. Also yes i know our kids are closer to the other siblings children but that’s because they’re allowed to play together and do cousin activities . It is what it is. You reap what you sow a n d all that.

(all cousins have 2 months between all 5 of them- I had twins, older sibling had twins and middle sibling who wouldn’t meet up except on her terms had 1)

😂

I don't really think it's generational, just different personalities and how the birth went. Some people want to see everyone they know, and others don't want to see anyone, and neither are right or wrong, just different. If the birth was quite traumatic, she might still be processing everything and not ready to face socializing yet.

This is mums net where everyone stays in a baby bubble until the baby is 15 years old as no one answers the front door

Straight away, or as soon as they could arrive. In hospital you have to put up with strangers around and it would be disappointing to be the only one with no visitors. Once home, anyone who is helpful, or at least not demanding stuff all the time, is very welcome.

Most of the young mums I know & there are loads can't wait to show off their baby, especially to the child's grandparents who in the best circumstances will be an integral part of the child's life. This of course depends on the outcome & both mother & baby are well. I'm also sure a few family visitors to meet the baby would never involve the parents having to host. Most people with any degree of consideration would put the kettle on & stay for an hour or so unless requested to stay longer.

I can't imagine making my parents wait for two weeks to see their grandchild. It just goes to show not all 'trends' which come & go are in the best interests of every family.

Weren't you bored senseless isolated fand stuck in the house for 40 days?

I read this comment and the mention of ‘40 days’ got my attention and I just wanted to add that having a 40 day lying in period is the norm in at least one culture I’m very familiar with and there’s nothing isolating about it. It is in fact the opposite. And there’s a lot to be said for the 40 days of rest and round the clock care the mum and baby receive whilst being ‘stuck’ in the house for 40 days. Not that I’m aware of why the previous poster was at home for 40 days.

@ I had a home birth early one morning and I didn’t bother to tell anyone! A friend knocked on the door to drop something off and got the shock of her life, as my husband opened the door with freshly hatched babe!

I think it’s important to note that most NCT groups encourage a two-week bubble these days - not even “allowing” immediate family - so don’t take it personally if you won’t! It’s an upward trend.

I think years ago, yes family would be coming over straight away, but they would also offer help, support, time, food. (Not saying you wouldn’t! But times have changed and I think there’s a lot if pressure on hosting as new parents.)

Sorry OP, I omitted to add grandchildren to my list of those I would consider immediate family,of course they are.
Congratulations on the birth of your grandchild 💐

I can't believe there are actually people who when they have a baby call their own parents extended family. 😂
My husband, my children, my parents, my grandparents (when alive) & my siblings are my immediate family. The same relates to my husband's immediate family. The rest are extended family.

No delay. I personally can't understand not wanting visitors. I was desperate for them.

The only bubble I envisage is the bubbling from parents who when they need help realise they've distanced themselves so much from family, especially the bond with both sets of Grandparents, they find out they are not a available.

First baby was born late afternoon and by the time everything was all sorted it was about midnight later that day my mum and dad then the day after my siblings and SIL. When we were home my mum stayed for the weekend to help out.

Second baby I was in hospital for 4 days. Baby born at midnight but later that day my eldest came in with my husband then my parents and sister. I'm a midwife so I had friends come to see me as soon as we were awake the first day 🤣

My husband's family love quite a way away so they came to stay for a while after both babies were born as they are helpful in laws and don't expect to be entertained!!

I think it’s individual and also that it’s changed over the decades. Take your lead from them.

Food was the best gift a relative/friend could bring. I’ll be honest and say I’ve forgotten who brought what babygrow, who brought the cute muslins, who brought the teddy bear vests…but I can remember every single food item and who brought it. My mum brought lasagnes and cottage pie’s for a good few weeks. One of my friends pre ordered a Chinese takeaway for us one night and just text around 10am saying “don’t worry about dinner tonight, just be ready to answer the door at 7pm to a Deliveroo driver.” Another friend brought round an M&S dine in for two meal one night. Another friend brought home made chicken kievs and pre-prepared veg and potatoes. They were absolute heros!

All grandparents, and my sister met both dc on the day were born. I think my parents, sister and my older child came to the delivery room with dc2. So he was a couple of hours old.