To ask you how long you waited before visitors

I'm in your camp op could t wait for the nearest and dearest to see my babies but this new generation want a baby bubble so I'd just let them tell you or you could well find yourself the subject of a overbearing MIL thread 🙄😂

I'm not sure if you have but, I would probably phone /txt ask how everyone is. Say Always here for you all and can't wait to see the baby. Good luck.

DS1 couldn't have visitors for the first 36 hours in HDU following our long labour, EMCS and other complications. We had a couple of visitors breaking up the tedium of being in hospital for 4 days, then a sucession at home. It was Christmas, everyone was free with time to kill and I loved it. I'd had a painful pregnancy and been trapped in the house for weeks before birth. More being stuck at home being bored and lonely was exactly what I did not need.

My vistors were all sensible with realistic expectations. They weren't offended when I was knackered and hurting from the effort of sitting on the sofa for a couple of hours.

DS2's first visitor was BiL an hour after I got home- discharge went through quicker than expected. I slept through that one in bed while DH and BiL got newborn cuddles.

It was lovely that family and friends were keen to come and see us.

My parents came after a month, some siblings on both sides and MIL about a month after that. We don't live in the same town.

This was the same for me. First time round I was in a state and didn’t even want to speak to anyone on the phone. It was Covid so no visitors. I would have really held it against anyone who pushed me at that time. However second time round it was fine and I invited people over the day we got back from the hospital. I think you just have to take people’s word for it they’ll let you know when they are ready. It’s your grandchild but it was her birth experience that she might be recovering from.

My first daughter was born 10.40am and I didn't want any visitors to the hospital that day as I didn't get to the ward until 3pm and felt so poorly. My parents and in-laws came the next evening.
Our 1st night home felt quite overwhelming so I am wondering if they could just be finding it a bit much if it is their 1st baby especially as they were home so soon?

Same day, both me and a few decades later, dd, with all her 3.
I can’t believe how precious some new parents are. I know some people can be a pain, expecting to be waited on and staying too long, but surely those can usually be put off. IMO it’s very sad for GPs not to be allowed to visit - unless they’re that sort of PITA, of course.

Hi op sometimes when it’s the sons mum she might be after dil family but might be wrong as some people decide that they want to be in charge of visits and some people are like come anytime but if you have a good relationship it shouldn’t be too long congratulations btw,

There was no throwing anyone anywhere. She refused an hv visit, probably brusquely (that’s all that “sent packing” means). She was only aggressive when people tried to intrude - which they shouldn’t be doing without good reason, and for which being aggressive isn’t necessarily an unreasonable way to defend your right to keep them away.

Same day for my mum. Later in the week for other family who had to travel

As soon as possible.
First grandchild on both sides.
I was very happy to receive visitors the day after giving birth. Neither side live locally to us so didn't hang around to long - just a hospital visit, then back to house with DH for cuppa before heading home.
I genuinely find it hard to understand those who don't want visitors and to share the joy with your families.

I'm middle aged.

All three births - Parents/in laws same day. Extended family next day onwards/whenever they wanted. Couldn't wait to show them off. Pretty much the same for everyone I know - is this a class thing, I know mumsnet tends to be more MC and to my mind many posters have very odd ideas about many things.

No family is perfect, no in laws are perfect but short of them being abusive I will NEVER understand the weirdness I read on here about keeping everyone at arms length.

I wonder if it's a modern symptom of this self centredness that we see so often now.

Some people come across as completely controlling.

Newsflash the child doesn't BELONG to you, they deserve to be part of a wider group of people who love them. Yes I had a Mil who would sometimes make negative comments about breastfeeding or other irritations but you know what I sucked it up.

Its really not ALL about the mother as much as her health and wellbeing should be supported, some people take it so far to the extreme and I wonder if they are the same women on here complaining about absent grandparents later on... I also wonder how they'll take it when their darlings grow up and marry someone who treats them the same way....

Baby 1. Born 01.30 in hospital so no visitors until reasonable hours. My Mum came over on the bus about 10.30 am. Baby 2. Born about 1.30 am. First visitor was dd number one who had been with neighbour on a sleepover - for obvious reasons. Baby 3. Born, oh joy, around 1.30 am. First visitor was lovely lady in village who gave me immediate help with breastfeeding. 9am. Dd 1 & 2 slept over with friends who took them to church parade. Took baby 3 to church after service to collect dd 1 & 2 where baby was cooed over by the old ladies.
Nowadays, new parents have watched onto the "no visitors for 1, 2, 3 months", including grandparents because they might give the baby germs. Believe it or not, babies do need to catch a few bugs here and there to build up resistance. Obviously, if someone has a virus, anything catching, they should keep away until well again.

My son, 2nd baby, was born during COVID and we didn't have visitors until he'd had his first immunisations and it was glorious. I loved having just the 4 of us at home and being able to recover, breastfeed 24/7 and waddle about without worrying about my MIL pressing my stomach a mere hour after giving birth to my first baby, and telling me I was snapping back already!

You sound like a lovely MIL/Nanny and it'll be so worth the wait. I can imagine just how excited you are to see the three of them. I hope DIL recovers well and feels up to a visit soon x

With my first baby, I let people come straight away. I massively regret not giving us time just as a new family so this time I will be waiting some time, perhaps a week and longer if I feel the need to.

Or is it until you’ve had a good nights sleep?
🤣🤣🤣. How many years?
Other than that, when you yourself feel comfortable.

My Mother was at the hospital as soon as she knew DDs had arrived. As was exMIL, sisters, friends, entire work team 😂 what are they waiting for???

Why on earth would she be embarrassed about how she behaved when she’d just given birth? It’s a bit nasty of you to try to make her feel bad about it tbh. Oh, and many, many women refuse HV services. It’s not compulsory, and HV’s are notoriously variable in quality.

Nope. She just turned up outside the delivery suite door. My BIL brought her

I desperately wanted a hug from my mum after emergency c-section with DS 1. She came the day he was born. My in laws came to hospital the next day.
All the grandparents came within 24 hours of DS2 at our request and our siblings/ cousins and a few close friends came in the first week . It was lovely to see them . My mum stayed for the first week to help us .

I don’t understand this fad of banning visitors.

First DD, everybody visited two hours after I left recovery ( emergency c aection). First grand child on DH side. I was delighted to see everyone and show her of. DD2 there was an outbreak of swine flu so no visitors only partnes/DH or a nominated person. DS, had him at 9am and my Mam and Aunt visited that evening during the visiting hours. SIL/Godmother visited the next morning and PIL in the evening.

I was always happy to have visitors and for them to see my newborns even though I had three c sections.

Kids are all teens now by the way.

At your request?

Depends on your reasoning for waiting 3 weeks for baby introduction, I suppose or are you a bubble mum?

I think it depends on the mother and the visitors. My Mum flew down the day after DD1 was born and met her in the hospital, she stayed with us for over a week and did all the housework and looked after me. I couldn't have coped without her, I'd been in hospital several days and was shattered after the birth.

In contrast I was so upset at DH and the ILs for how much they pushed me to have them come down the day after I got out of hospital, I had an all night argument with DH that first night when DD was a few days old, he wanted them to come down and hire a camper van to sit in the street outside our house so they could all (PILs, SIL, BIL and his wife and kids) stay for a few days. He eventually backed down and just my PILs came for a few hours a few days later while Mum was still with us so she did all the entertaining of them. That makes them sound horrendous but MIL was lovely, their family boundaries are just very different, e.g. when she was dying the house was full of people.